Having a bit of an introspective night my friends. I'm staring into that blackhole in my head evaluating my life as of late. I have to say things have been good. There is so much love around me. I am blessed in a way I have never been blessed before, and for that I have to thank the Gods , but still as a human I still have my longings, my baggage, my unfinished business. I'm wishing tonight my kindred, wishing for answers, wishing for validation, wishing I could have been a different person so many times in my recent past.

I'm analyzing, breaking down truths, building up scenarios in my head that I hope will bring me the peace I KNOW I have earned. Maybe I'm spending to much time with Byron (Not possible!! ) or maybe I just haven't had enough coffee today

Anyhoo.... these be the things Sweeny wishing for:

Peace, of body mind and spirit, not just for myself but for everyone in my "circle," for everyone in the world.

Love, not that I don't have enough ( No one is luckier than I ), I just wish I could express my love better, I wish I could express the emotion that overwhelms me at times. I wish to give love to my greatest capability.

Freedom, to come and go as I please, luckily I make pretty good money so I do have the financial means to do a small amount of what I want to do, but I mean a greater sense of freedom, I mean the uninhibited crazy laughter of a child, I mean that spin around in circles feeling we all had when we were small. I want to be able to express myself without fear of rejection or worse indifference.

Yowsa that was a ramble!!

I just felt the need to throw this stuff out there, cast my net into the universe and see what comes back to me.

What's on your mind tonight my purple brothers and sisters? What do you wish for?

I wish I could travel more.

althom said:

me too!!! Wish I could come see ya with Byron Oh well One day

Sweeny79 said:

He can fill you in on what it was like.

althom said:

Not the same sweetheart!

R. Kelly- I Wish

I wish,I wish,I wish
(To every city,every hood
and every block)
I wish,I wish
(Ghetto America)
I wish,I wish,I wish,
I wish,I wish,I wish


Rollin' through the hood
Just stopped to say what's up
And let you know your baby
boy aint doin' so tough
Even though you passed
Going on four long years
Still waking up late at night
cryin' tears
just thinkin' about those days
You used to talk to me
Smilin' while I'm sippin'on
this Hennessy
And remember we'd brag on
how rich we would be
To get out this hood was
like a fantasy

And now you hear my songs
The radio is playin'
Oh I can't believe my ears
and what everybody is sayin'
Boy I tell you folks don't know
the half
I would give it all up just to
take on ride with you
How I used to kick it on the
front porch
With you
And how I used to lay back and
smoke weed
With you
And all the little basement party
joints we'd do
Now I'm just missing you
How I wish

I wish that I could
hold you now
I wish that I could
touch you now
I wish that I could talk to you
Be with you somehow
I know you're in a better place
Even though I can't see
your face
I know you're smilin'
down at me
Sayin' everything's OK
And if I make it out this
thug life
I'll see you again someday
I wish,I wish,I wish,
I wish,I wish,I wish

Ever since this money come
It's been nothing but stress
Sometimes I wish that I could
just trade in my success
Y'all look at me and say
Boy,you've been blessed
But y'all don't see the inside of
my unhappiness
Man,I swear this shit gets
heavy like a ton
That's why you hear me
shootin' this real shit off
like a gun
Mmmm I wonder how my friends
would treat me now
If I was iced up with a
Bentley and a house
That's why
Fake-ass niggas
get fake-ass digits
And fake-ass player get a real
player hatin'em
"Honey Love" goes platnium
and y'all ass come 'round
But y'all don't wanna raise
the roof
Until my shit is goin' down

And now you hear my songs
The radio is playin'
Oh I can't believe my ears
and what everybody is sayin'
Boy I tell you folks don't know
the half
I would give it all up just to take
one ride with you
How I used to hoop off in
them to tournaments
With you
And how I used to club hop
on weekends
With you
your family called the morning
of the tragic end
Damn..my condolences


Voices in my head
Be tellin' me to come to church
Say the lord is the only way for
you to stop the hurt
Dreaming of windows
Black-tinted like a hearse
But waking up to life sometimes
seems worse
And all I ever wanted is to be a
better man
And I try to keep it real with my
homies, man
Want me to save the world
I don't understand
How did I become the leader of
a billion fans

And now you hear my songs
The radio is playin'
Oh, I can't believe my ears and
what everybody's sayin'
Boy I tell you folks don't know
the half
I would give it all up just to take
one ride
With you
How I used to street perform
on Friday
With you
and how I'd go to church on
Easter Sunday
With you
Instead of y'all throwin' them
stones at me
Somebody pray for me

MostBeautifulGrlNTheWorld said:

Sweeny79 said:

what do you consider is stopping you from doing that?
Society as it is now?

cynicalbastard said:

No, it's my own personal demons that stop me. I know that. That's what I am trying to correct in may ways



: edit
[This message was edited Sun Feb 22 18:14:05 2004 by Sweeny79]

Keep your head up-Tupac Amaru Shakur

Sweeny

I admire you...

Byron said:

I admire you also my friend

MostBeautifulGrlNTheWorld said:

That's one of my favourite songs!