... when this guy goes up to the librarian and asks if he can borrow this book on suicide.

"Fuck off!" she told him, "You won't bring it back!"



Go on... post a silly joke... you know you want to!

What's the difference between a duck?

One of it's legs is the same.

What's pink and can't turn around in a lift?



A baby with a javelin thru its head.

Cloudbuster said:

This is the stuff

What's black and white and red all over?



A nun on a meathook.

Cloudbuster said:

17 pairs of shoes were found on Morecambe Bay...they were all winklepickers.

GhostlyNun said:

Yes, that means you, sister.

Of course, there's the evergreen...

Two nuns in a dark room.

'Where's the candle?'

'Yes, doesn't it'

See also 'Where's the soap' and 'Where's Cloudbuster?'

JDINTERACTIVE said:

Police have named 6 of the Morecombe vicims...
Way Ding
Sin King
Drow Ning
Leff Too Dy
Fuk Its Cold
Ty Dis Hi

JDINTERACTIVE said:

GhostlyNun said:

I love that joke. There are still people who don't get it.

More money is now spent on boob jobs and viagra than on alzhimer's research. So by the year 2040 the elderly will have perky tits an stiff cocks but no fucking idea why!

A man fell into an upholstry machine at work..thank goodness he's fully recovered.

What do you get if you cross a motorway with a llama?



Killed!

What happened when Jesus went to mount olive?









































Popeye beat the shit out of him!!

Police have solved the mystery at Morecambe. The Chinese were told to stop picking when the water got to knee high. Unfortunately, Nee Hi was waiting in the van.

My hamster's been in a terrible accident. Fell asleep at the wheel.

Isn't it odd how we always make fun of tragic happenings.

.
[This message was edited Sat Feb 14 8:55:48 PST 2004 by JDINTERACTIVE]

Cloudbuster said:

I have a theory on how these jokes come out so quick after the events...



There is a room somewhere with people just writing jokes for VERY CONCEIVABLE DISASTER, so that when stuff happens, the material is already ready to use. I had a text a couple of hours after te morecambe tragedy. I had emails on september 11th about the event. Within an hour of the Queen Mum dying I had 2 jokes about it!

Just before Harold Shipman died, he was mumbling something about craving for a curry. Apparently he was overheard saying "I could murder a nan"


[This message was edited Sat Feb 14 8:58:18 PST 2004 by JimmyNothing]

JDINTERACTIVE said:

Why did you delete the Mr. Shipman joke?

JimmyNothing said:

If true then what a fantastic job that must be.

It has been said before but he was a bit of a ladykiller. Maybe it was because he was so well hung

Harold Shipman's life is being made into a film with Robert De Niro playing the main part, they are going to call it "The Old Dear Hunter"




What's the similarity between Harold Shipman and Gareth Gates?
ne-it-her of th-em c-an fi-ni-sh a s-en-te-nce