to win back the trust of one you betrayed?
Do you apologize? Let them fully express their anger and dissapointment? Do you take full responsibilities for the actions that caused this betrayal? Do you avoid talking about the situation shortly after it is brought to light
hoping it is just forgotten? What do you do?

You don't take advice from an Orger, that's what you don't do.

Anxiety said:

Are orgers people? Come to think of it you may be right
after seeing some of the actions in here. Never can fully get a feel of what is real in here. :LOL:

Well, first I have to decide if that relationship was one I valued enough in the first place. That determines how much effort I put into rebuilding.

I usually do the first three things you mentioned, if it's someone I care for and we're on speaking terms. I need to hear the person out and communicate fully, if I value the relationship. It's also important--but admittedly difficult--for me to fully acknowledge my role in what happened. If I just say, "sorry you feel that way", that's not really an apology. I'm not saying I must take full responsibility for everything, but definitely I must be honest with myself and others re: my motives if I want to be able to live with myself.

Finally, though, in the end the thing that's gonna save my relationship with that person is future action/example, as well as a willingness on both parts to leave the past behind and learn to trust again.

I always say I'am sorry and hope that they will forgive me for whatever it was I did, and I'm never afraid to admit when I was wrong.

Paisley said:

I accept your apoligie.

althom said:

althom said:

Well I might believe you if you had spelled it right. :LOL:

Paisley said:

Now I don't!

althom said:

OK tell, just exactly what did I do?

Paisley said:

You hit me with a chair!

althom said:

Oh quit being a and take it like a man. :LOL:

Paisley said:

You're not very good at this apoligy thing like you said.

Saying something when its already damaged is like going unheard.. I'd say if anything just prove in future actions without actually saying your going to. and improve whatever is damaged between the relationship.. words cant mend it, future actions can sure head things in a better direction if their positive.

I hardly trust anyone from the get go.

KoolAid said:

I can speak for myself, that's all. I have an Aussie friend here in Thailand. He's like my brother. He is married to my wife's sister but he was married to my wife before I knew her. He left my (then future) wife for her sister. Anyway, we used to get drunk a lot together since we get on so well, and he used to tell me private things about his relationship with his wife and other things, which I often used to in turn tell my wife about. She would then tell her sister and it would get back to him. One night a few months ago he confronted me about this and I felt terrible. I have always considered myself a trustworthy friend to my friends in England so this hurt me to think I'd been such a bastard, so I apologised whole-heartedly for my mistakes in the past. I know I wouldn't do it now so the words were genuine and he appreciated it. We're now closer than we've ever been and I'm happy about that.

U just need to apologise and really mean it, but most importantly learn from your mistakes and never do it again. Just mean what u say. That's all u can ever do when u make any mistake.