These questions about Canada were posted
on an International Tourism Website:

1. Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the
plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around
watching them die.

2. Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

3. Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow
the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water. . ..

4. Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So its true what they say about Swedes.

5. Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of
places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.

6. Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can you
send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton
and Halifax? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

7. Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing
in Canada? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Ca-na-da is that big country to your North . . . oh forget it.
Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary.
Come naked.

8. Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when
you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

9. Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

10. Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y,
which is. . . oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays
every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight
after the hippo races. Come naked.

11. Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.

12. Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain
of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in
Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

13. Q: Can I wear high heels in Canada? (UK)
A: You are an American politician, right?

14. Q: Can you tell me the regions on British Columbia
where the female population is smaller than the
male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

15. Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.

16. Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available
all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter
gatherers. Milk is illegal.

17. Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Canada who can
dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: All Canadian rattle snakes are perfectly harmless, and
can be safely handled and make good pets.

18. Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I
forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent eating
the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can
scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine
before you go out walking.

19. Q: I was in Canada in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact t
he girl I dated while I was staying in Surrey, BC. Can
you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

20. Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

Hey Muse !!!


canandians...with their beedi little eyes and flip-floppy heads...

Canada

The SARS Capitol!

Freespirit said:

12. Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain
of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in
Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

13. Q: Can I wear high heels in Canada? (UK)
A: You are an American politician, right?




Now you know my Canadian buddies sent this to me! Those were my favorites! They love to send me anything competitive with America! We have done this for years.

i've lived in Canada my whole life and not once have i ever gone to a hippo race...damn i've been missing out on some good clean naked fun (i usually only have the dirty kind of naked fun!! )