It is amazing to me that the laws in this country allow for women to be entitled to all the hard earned money and work simply for being married. Why does anyone deserve to rape someone's hard earned money just because they signed a marriage certificate?

I'm not talking about cases where a woman works to put her husband through school and the creep dumps her ass as soon as he's making enough $$$ to buy a young trophy queen. And I'm not talking about housewives who stay home to raise children.

Why does marriage entitle anyone to sue for alimony so that they can continue to live the live they have been accustomed to, even if they initiated the divorce? Nobody in their right mind would ever enter any contract in which they would have to give up half of everything they worked their ass off for. Why should a man have to subside on 10% of his income so that he could pay hand over fist ridiculous amounts of child support that do not merit the actual costs that the children are incurring?

Why are women deserving of future earnings? I'm pro women all the way, anyone who knows me knows that's the truth. But marriage is the perfect scam for golddigging bitches...

Because the law takes a man by the hips and fucks him hard up the ass without lube until the day he dies!

KAMILLE said:

eloquent as ever.

KAMILLE said:

Probably it's leftover from the time when women didn't work?

KAMILLE said:

Hey, we're not talking about having fun here! We're talking about the sanctity of marriage! :evilloL:

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Different strokes I guess.

My parents are divorcing. My mum had an affair, and it's my dad that's gonna lose half of everything he owns because of it.

It simply ain't fair! It's sexisium incorperated!
[This message was edited Wed Jan 21 10:07:29 PST 2004 by KAMILLE]

I think that used to be the case Supa. But now men are suing women for thier stuff too. My friends ex-husband sued her for part of her retirement.

conch5184 said:

No, these laws have gotten progressively more ridiculous. There is a radio host here in LA who's wife initiated the divorce. She was successful making a lot of money. She left her husband to be with another man. And still this guy had to pay her alimony for 3 years. That is all they were married!! 3 years of marriage and he owes her, even when she left him? This is the kind of shit I'm talking about...

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

personally, i think it is extremely jacked-up misogynistic vieew of women that the court takes. it basically says (to me at least) you took her into your life, you are responsible for her, as you would be a pet, and if you end the marriage, you are still repsonsible for her because she is defenseless and can't take of herself.

it's disgusting.

of course, it becomes a different story when there are children involved, but...

illimack said:

If it's good for the goose it certainly is good for the gander. My opinion is that nobody should be obligated to anyone simply because they signed a certificate. Of course there will be cases where it is warranted and I support that but why should a man owe his ex wife anything if she had an affair on him and decided to leave the marriage herself?

Because us femmes have always been spoiled by society and looked at as weak without a man S'tha truth if no ones says it ...and some femmes arent spoiled and weak without a man but have worked hard in their life to overcome those sterotypical and sexist views of femmes but in this male dominated society, femmes will more then likely be shorted in some way or another, even in this independant woman era so since the man makes the money, some femmes go for it when it comes time for the divorce.

Now if she's just being a golddigger, thats altogeter a different story.
[This message was edited Wed Jan 21 10:15:40 PST 2004 by CherrieMoonKisses]

CherrieMoonKisses said:

thank you. s'waht i was trying to say, but much eloquently executed.

co-sign

Hey, b happy u (beeing homosexual and all) will never have to xperience something like that :d

Btw, that's what marriage is about, everything is split 50/50. You know, it is supposed to be a life-long thing after all. Now i donot know marriage-laws in the US, but it seems pretty normal that when a (rich) husband cheats on his (poor) wife, she can still file for divorce ánd get half of his belongings.

SpcMs said:

That I understand. What I don't understand is when the wife cheats, and the husband is committed to the marriage but she cheats and divorces him anyway. Why does he have to pay her?

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Mmm...i don't think it works that way over here in Belgium (unless there r children involved or something). Although i think they are in the process of changing the law so there would no longer b a 'guilty' party in a divorce procedure.
If what you are describing really is the case, than, mmm... :d

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

different states have different laws regarding the division of property. but, imo the laws seem kinda biased in favor of women when it comes to raising children and marriage

XxAxX said:

Don't get me wrong. I'm all for men owning their responsibilities as it pertains to the families they created, however it's insane that men have to pay child support on levels that don't accurately reflect what costs the child is actually incurring to the mother.

I'm with you on the child support thing. I only get 434 per month for my twins. My boyfriend pays 1200 a month for one kid. And his son still asks him for stuff because his ex-wife always tells his son that she doesn't have any money. How can you work and get an extra grand a month for one kid and not have any money?

illimack said:

That's the kind of shit I'm talking about. Are kids expensive? Yes. But that $1,200 more than likely covers her rent. Am I right? I think that child support should be itemized and documented and not based on raping a man for more than he can afford and still live his life while his ex wife has a double income...

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

As a mother, I don't want to begrudge another mother her right to child support, but you are right. 1200 a monnth for one child is just crazy. They base it on the fathers' income. Funny thing is, he was only paying 600 per month when I met him. When he let me start haning aroung his kid, all of a sudden she took him back to court to get more money.

Men get alimony too, if the woman had a larger income

Ok, honey, you're my friend and I know you, so I'm gonna take it easy on you here

First of all, I think we need to look at this on a macro, rather than micro, level. Women and children are the poorest people in this country and the world. Believe it or not, there are not a ton of women and children living "high on the hog" on alimony and child support out there somewhere. Statistics show that after a divorce, a man's income usually INcreases, while a woman's DEcreases. And then there's the fact that MOST WOMEN DON'T EVEN GET CHILD SUPPORT, LET ALONE ALIMONY. If they do, quite often it's a few dollars and not nearly enough to pay living expenses for the children. I have a feeling that we pay more attention to the well-publicized, extreme--and very rare--cases where a woman gets alimony from her ex, while disregarding (or being totally ignorant of) the literally millions of women and children who don't receive anything.

Of course, in the rare instances of women being over-awarded, I agree, it's very paternalistic and not good for anyone in the long run. Here's what I know of the system and how it works, and why there are so many different stories and standards. First of all, if the couple can't reach an agreement amongst themselves first, the final divorce settlement is often up to the discretion of each individual judge. So, basically, if you get a pro-alimony judge, or a judge that has a history of making certain decisions, you can often expect that sort of ruling. That's why you see such huge discrepancies from divorce to divorce, because for the most part, there's a lot of discretionary power a judge holds. It's quite difficult for a woman to get alimony these days, unless you can either prove that you have no job skills due to staying home being a "wife" (often referred to as a 'displaced homemaker'), or that you are unable to work for other reasons. I know of many, many more cases where alimony was denied than granted. Usually in cases where it's awarded, they'll give her a few years of alimony while requiring the wife to take training classes or go to school to be able to find employment.

Oh, and the differences in how much is paid are usually due to differing income amounts. For alimony/child support, amount paid is usually dependent upon how much the guy makes and household/school costs--the point of it is to maintain the standard of living of the wife and child to what it was pre-divorce.

Last note: I think the more outrageous settlements are meted out to celebrities. Those settlements are truly obscene.

AnotherLoverToo said:

Christopher said:

OMGGG, Christopher, I thought you'd forgotten all about meee!!

::feelslikethewallfloweratschoolwhojustgotaskedtodancebythehotboy::

AnotherLoverToo said:

lol...

no i just havent been around nights often...i had stale candy today. i think i broke a tooth

It's really a fucked up system. I knew a woman who was engaged to a doctor and got pissed off when he asked for a pre-nup. Meanwhile she was planning an affair with me. She wasn't in love with him and she found him old and boring. I was just looking to get some ass so i stayed quiet, but in my mind I really wanted to tell her how much of a cunt she was being. It's no wonder most men are afraid of marriage, we have a 50% chance of getting fucked royally. As a society I think it's time for us to put an end to this theft. It's seriously time for a campaign.

AnotherLoverToo said:

I'm obviously addressing the more extreme cases and not "everyday" cases. Believe me, I was the victim of being a child that had no child support, even though at one point my dad was making nearly $400,000.00 a year!!!

My dad only had to pay less than $200 for both me and my sister combined. He stopped paying for 5 years, and this was the time he started making that huge salary. Things were so bad that I had to go to school in "last years" clothes because my mom didn't have the money to buy clothes until a month after school started and I was so embarrassed because I had gone through a growing spurt and all my pants were highwaters.

My mother has always loved my dad and in a stupid move never challenged him not paying child support and also did not ask for more because she loved him so much she didn't want to cause him trouble. Nevermind the fact he fucking ditched us and left us to fend for ourselves, which we did but obviously we were put in that fucked up situation because he left, not because we wanted to be there. The whole reason he stopped paying the child support was because the my step monster the fat cunt whore badgered him about it to the point that he stopped paying the support to keep peace in the house. That greedy cunt denied me and my sister that $200 a month while feasting herself and my other brothers and sister on my dad's whopping paychecks.

So I went to the DA's office, grabbed the necessary paperwork, had my mom sign it, took it back to the DA's office. A month later my dad was calling my mom from jail cursing her out for sending him there. The DA put him in jail and made him pay those 5 years back child support.

Believe me...I know where you are coming from. I have been there. But I cannot help but wonder the things I wondered in this thread. Leave the kids out. Why does a woman deserve to be set up in a fuckin penthouse cuz she fucked some dude under the sanction of "marriage". It just sickens me to see guys ripped off to kingdom come when they don't deserve it. Look at Illimacks situation. $1200 a month for an average child is ridiculous and outrageous. Why should her boyfriend have to furnish his ex with all the luxeries of life because they had a child? I agree for him to accept his responsibility but come on, $1200 a month to raise a child. Yes, any mother can find ways to spend that $1,200 but it just seems wrong to me.

And if a man has worked for his fortune, marries some chick and shows her a good time and then the marriage fails only a few years later, why does he need to support her to the way in which she's become accustomed? She didn't earn that fortune, why should she reap the benefits of his hard work.

Obviously I'm addressing gold diggers in general...

.
[This message was edited Wed Jan 21 19:11:56 PST 2004 by SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy]

I guess I cringe at these types of threads, because so many people don't realize that situations like yours are really the norm. Instead, they hear stories (which probably leave out lots of key details, like how much the private school they decided to put the kid in costs, etc.) and make assumptions that most situations are like that.

And soon it all turns into a woman-bashing, marriage-bashing, "women use the child support to get their nails done instead of diapers", free for all. A bit like EWM's post, for example. His next thing will probably be to talk about how women always cry and get out of speeding tickets, and how they all sleep their way to the top of the company they work in, and how it's ok for a man to sleep around but not a woman because it's 'natural' (those seem to be his favorite misogynistic topics).
[This message was edited Wed Jan 21 19:23:31 PST 2004 by AnotherLoverToo]

AnotherLoverToo said:

But those things are all true

I hear ya. I guess I just had a short nerve on this issue today. My case is certainly more the norm than not but I'd be pissed as hell if I made my fortune through my blood, sweat and tears and then had to give it all away because I signed a marriage certificate...especially if I was willing to stay in the marriage.

The only reason I support gay marriage BTW is so that we have the same rights as far as all the civil implications. Otherwise I'm not for getting married myself.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Well, as a non-married female who supports herself, obviously golddiggers have NO PLACE in my heart. But I also tend to think that these rich guys often make the decision to marry a golddigger knowingly, trading their money for the looks and homemaking comforts of a wife they knew was superficial to begin with. In those cases, they're both assholes, lol.