I just don’t think we see eye to eye. We’ve been together 8 mos now and living together for 5 of those months. Sometimes I love him and sometimes I loathe him. Is this natural? I’m pretty new to the long-term relationship thing and maybe I have unrealistic expectations but why is it that I keep falling in and out of love with him. He wants to wrap his life around me. I have goals and aspirations. I thought he did as well and this is a big part of what attracted me to him. Now it seems that his only purpose in life is to love me… and this scares me. Maybe I’m being an ass here but I’m starting to notice that our conversation doesn’t go beyond small talk and games and half of the time I don’t understand his dialogue. I want to learn from my lover, I want to be inspired by my lover and this isn’t happening.
Another issue is sex. He wants it more than I do yet he is afraid to ask for it. It takes only seconds for me to get in the mood but he’d rather dance around it and then get violently angry with me when I don’t pick up on his cues

Help me out folks…

ANOTHER TWEETY

You should have waited longer to move in with him. I always say if I move in with a guy I want an extra bedroom and my own bathroom...maybe you just need a bigger apartment or house!

no noe should get violently angry with you for not being telepathic hon

TweetyBird said:

That's what I'm saying!

Paisley said:

yes. there's only ONE REAL Tweety
And he's all yours

TweetyBird said:

You're just saying that

Why are you playing games with him?

You know what he's getting at when he's "dancing around", yet he's gotta ask you for it?

Too many games, I think.

The key to any successful relationship is COMMUNICATION... trust me.

Talk to him, find out what it was you fell in love with the first time... it'll do wonders.

Paisley said:

At least I'm saying that

msserendipity said:

co-sign.

he shouldn't be getting violently angry with you, period. what exactly do you mean by violently angry? he breaks things? he hits you?

TweetyBird said:

What's that suppose to mean?

wow
your second post ever and you confide in us like this.















dump him.

Paisley said:

It means I'm doing some effort not give me some!

Don't tell us all these things, tell him!!!

TweetyBird said:

Not give me some?

Drink often...it's working for me so far
[This message was edited Mon Jan 12 12:53:54 PST 2004 by mynameisnotsusan]

Paisley said:

I always do that! damn typos!!!

TweetyBird said:

:LOL: Darlin dont beat yourself-up over it.

Paisley said:

BTW, if violence is there, then you shouldn't be there.

TweetyBird said:

you done with your thread jacking then

msserendipity said:

done thread jacking. now I'm just jacking

TweetyBird said:

i should have known you were going to be sooo predictable

msserendipity said:

predictible, huh?













































BOO!!! :BOO:


You didn't expect that, did ya? huh? did ya?

That's what happens when you move in with someone you barely know after only 3 months.

thanks guys, i'm undacova here as chiatweety. i've actually interacted with many of you in this thread. to answer all at once (at work now so I can't hang long)

Carrie Lee
It is a two bedroom and I think this is the only thing that's saving us. We moved in primarily as roommates as we both needed a place.

Tweety
There IS only one Tweety.

On to communication & violence..
There have definitely been some communication breakdowns. I get angry with him and he gets even angrier with me and Ka-Boom.. we're screaming at the top of our lungs. There have been a few knockdown dragouts but it's not like Ike & Tina where one is kicking another's ass for no reason (and too, we are both men). I'm not trying to justify it and it's even hard for me to bounce back from. Let's just say that things are better now but this is part of the reason that I don't feel as attracted to him or as sexual towards him. It's not like I'm playing games (June 7) or maybe I am. I just think that we should have our communication down before we get busy in the sack.

P.S. Milty, Why is dump him/her always your response.

chiatweety said:

dump him. once violence has bloomed, it roots in the relationship and destroys it. it might be small amounts of violence now, but it will get worse.and i am not at all suprised to hear that the violence has affected your sex drive within the rleationship, it is quite common within violent relationships.

do yourself and him a favor: end it... if you can not, at least seek out counseling as an individual or as a couple.

cborgman said:

i'm way ahead of you on this. i wanted to go as a couple but he doesn't think we need counseling. he sez he's been there, done that once and it did nothing for him.
it's only been 8 months and part of me is saying, we still have much to learn about each other. another part of me is saying it's not supposed to be this hard? i probably would have darted already but we are in a lease until august.

chiatweety said:

trust... if he is violent less than a year in, it will get worse. and i think you are wise enough to see that the fact he has been to couples counseling already and it didn't work out, would be a major red flag that he is serially violent within his relationships.

this guy has bad news written all over him.

Any statement which begins "I love my boyfriend BUT" is telling you all you need to know ... he doesn't inspire you, you don't talk the same language. You already know your heart isn't in this one.

You can either spend more time working it out, or get out now and find someone who truly makes you happy.

Good luck
xxx