Hi everyone. I've written an article which I'm aiming at children. Now I know the net is a place of free reign and a lot of you are going to say 'It's your site, say what you want. If the kids read it and the parents don't like it then that's there fault for not watching them. But I want to know how you really feel about it.

I wrote this just now, tell me what you think:

A message to all the children of the world: It’s up to you to make the world perfect.

Hello there. I understand how when your young you don’t like to read. When you surf the net you like to look at photos, drawings, chat to people, play games and maybe even look at stuff that your not supposed to. Well there is a lot of reading to do hear but it’s very important. If you want to get a grown up to help read this to you that’s fine. They may also be able to help you with any words you don’t understand.

You may think that what I’m about to tell you is bad news, but in a lot of ways your about to find out about the best news there is. How to create a perfect world.

Firstly you must understand that the world is not perfect, and it’s not perfect because here are a lot of non-perfect people in it. In this world we have fights, wars, segregation, racism, destruction and neglecting. Everyday millions of people face worry, hatred and danger to their very lives at the hands of people who simple do not care.

The way around this problem is to educate the children of the world. Grown ups are stubborn, set in there ways and the chances are they are not going to change, but one day they won’t be here, and you will be. If you remember what you are about to learn and encourage others to do so the world will have fewer problems than it has right now.

Something you need to learn about now is that there are billions of people in the world and every single one of them is different. Some may look the same, some may speak the same, some may do the same things but everyone is different in some way. A lot of these people have special beliefs, known as “religious” beliefs. Religious beliefs concern things like, who made us, who made the world, what happens to us when we die, do we go to heaven, do we turn into other people, ghosts. However, different people believe in different things. Some people believe in God, some don’t. Some people believe that there is a God, but different people may call him by different names. In the past and still today you can find that people who have strong religious beliefs have caused suffering and misery. There are some people who fight and start wars in order to destroy people who don’t have the same beliefs as them. These people are extremists and need to be stopped from causing death and destruction. By respecting that people have the right to believe whatever they want to believe and don’t deserve to be persecuted if you don’t agree with them everyone will be one step closer to a perfect world.

Amongst all the people in the world there are many kinds of differences. Some are subtle physical ones, like the size and shape of someone’s nose, the colour of someone’s eyes, the length of people hair. Some are very bold obvious differences such as the colour of peoples skin. In this would there are White people, pink people, yellow people, orange people, red people, brown people and black people. All these people are individuals with thought, feeling, emotions, they can all love and hate things. Like with religious beliefs, some people face ridicule and hatred because of there differences. The quicker you learn that all these people are equal and should be treated equally the better. You must embrace and except all people, and if they are good people you should show them the love and respect they all deserve no matter what they look like or where there roots are from.

As people grow up relationship between people start to form. You may have seen relationships like his. This is usually when a boyfriend and a girlfriend together. They may hug each other and kiss each other, like you probably will with someone one day. However, there are rarer sort of relationships that are becoming more common in the world today. This is when a boy has a boyfriend or when a girl has a girlfriend. They too kiss and cuddle like any boy girl couple would. Although rare, this isn’t strange or wrong. You might be thinking ‘That must be horrible to kiss someone the same gender as yourself’ but some these people often feel the same way about kissing people of the opposite sex. It’s another difference that people have and it isn’t a wrong act. As a result these people should not be treated badly as a result. Instead they should be treated with love and friendship.

If we all treated each other with friendship we become unified. We all become bonded together and can work as a team. Together we can help find cures for the ill and the weak, we can build technology to help us live happy lives, we will all be joined together to solve the problems that the world throws at us and we will succeed every time. We will all be perfect. Anyone who does not accept this new way of thinking should not be hated, blamed, or persecuted, just simply ignored.

Let everyone know about this. Tell your friends, brothers, sisters, cousins, and eventually your children and with any luck soon we’ll have a perfect world.


... So, any thoughts?

Well I dont have any children but I think it's great.

Paisley said:

Thank you babe.
[This message was edited Sat Jan 3 16:08:14 PST 2004 by KAMILLE]

KAMILLE said:

No problem

Instant reaction: a bit simplistic and patronising (and the grammatical and spelling mistakes are disappointing.)

Could do better.



.
[This message was edited Sat Jan 3 16:11:48 PST 2004 by langebleu]

langebleu said:

I've not read it myself yet, as for the way it's written 'it is aimed at children'.

Here, you prove yourself to have the most wonderful outlook on life. I truly wish that everybody had your way of thinking!

However your commentary here, although well-meaning, comes across as a bit 'This is how I feel and this is the way it is!!!'

We would all like people to take in what you've said and live by those opinions, but I feel you ought to take on a more 'This is how I feel, make your own minds up' approach.

Also, and this isn't a criticism intended to attack you, but some of your spelling and grammar isn't quite correct and something that's intended for children should be beyond that sort of petty criticism - it will cloud people's minds when reading your commentary and give them an easy thing to attack rather than actually taking in what you've said. It's unfortunate, but some people will attack you for that, rather than the beautiful sentiment that you're making.

Thank you for this commentary - I wish everybody would live by it's intention.

Just my Two cents/pence worth. Hope it's helpful.

Haystack said:

It is. I've already started correcting it. (I was never any good at spelling.) I think you make a good point on how I should let other people make up there own minds. Maybe a re-write is in order. Well I still have plenty of time.

Thanks Haystack, this was the kind of feedback and advice I wanted.

KAMILLE said:

I think it's great, After they read this they should be ready for the lesbians on your home page.

2the9s said:

i think he is trying to talk to all them young girls he lusts after

2the9s said:

I'd say that this must be meant to recruit underaged lesbians!

I think it's beautiful Ell. Great job

Sweeny79 said:

will you be reading it out in front of your class ?

blackcherry said:

that's an idea!!

Sweeny79 said:

oh my god nooo, i was only joking

I like the thinking behind it a lot.

But what age are u aiming this at? You might try to grade your language a little better if it's youngsters u're trying to reach.

Kids are smart but there are some words which might be a problem for them. U might not need as much detail as u have.

Very cool though.

i have a child...very corny,kids have a built in bullshit detector dont u think? BUT i think the sentiment is cool.

actually i have just reread it...who is it aimed at???its a fantastic parody of schmaltzy middle american novice writing..if thats what u were trying to do 10/10!!!
ps.there will be a sad day when u are too old for posters..enjoy them while you can but remember just BLU TACK young man.

2the9s said:

actually ive reread it...it really isnt very good,is it?...hey,you asked im telling.the one thing ive learned in my 30 years is that most people are decent..they really dont need to be told"this is how to be a good human being"life really isnt that black and white.

Nice stuff, Kamille. You said you were aiming for a childrens audience. What age ? , cuz it's too patronizing for 12yo and up, i think the tone is best understood by children 7-10. You may wanna include some practical examples to visualise your points (like you did with your homosexual paragraph).

I hope this'll help

ps get rid of the capital W in white people please, it's annoying the hell out of me

what?a slide show?? :LOL:

jonylawson said:

No e.g. when Kamille sums the diff skin colors, it may be visualised by people who look like that.

ok...again the sentiment is lovely. its def for the younger kids 7-10. but i think it needs to be cleverer for them cos i know a lot of very clued up 8 year olds.i don't know if they'll stick around attentively till the end.
kids these days are scary.

KAMILLE said:

That doesn't mean it should be patronising an simplistic.
It means it should have pictures and be fun to look at in the first place. So you should do someting about the format. As for the text, I'll try to read the rest of it now. Which is hard with the kids around.

Whateva said:

OK I like it, although I think it's a very long way of saying:
Don't be scared of other people because they're diffrent. Respect everyone for whom they are and what they like or do.
As long as they have the same respect for you, there is nothing to be scared of.

This is what I try to teach my children and what they get tought at their school(JENAPLAN, though neirly every school in Holland nowadays works that way).
It's a difficult process, they need a lot of guidance cause any human being tends to only see the world as it is trough their own eyes.

I think by naming sexual preference as a separate thing is making a big deal out of it. Better to put it together with skin colour, it's also a biological thing, unlike religion.

I think it's a noble piece of writing, there's always people that will comment on it. That's just cause we're all different

Thanks 4 all the advice people. (I've never written anything aimed @ children before) Maybe I should seek some help from a profesional.

I'll get back to you lot when the second daft.

Take care kids.

I found a nice picture to go with your "story"

Maybe U can use it

I thought i was going to see a pic of Steve Irwin feeding his kid to a crocodile!