The Lady In Red - Chris de Burgh
My Mama just decided she hates you.

LilMissMissy...remix...remix...
Don't be fooled by the cocks dat i got...i'm still, i'm still Jenny from da block...used 2 have a little now i have a lot...

:MRGREEN:

lilmissmissy said:

I think lilmissmissy is still drunk.

althom said:

:LOL: i came up wif dat one during one of my hyperactive moments

Jenny From The Block - Jennifer Lopez
- I don’t have time for J-Lo

Earth Song?

People must be remembering how he performed it, the song itself is Okay, infact it's his biggest selling single ever in the UK.

What's just as irritating are those losers who add their comments on the singles. Dominik Diamond, Roland Riveron, Paul Ross-people who are just known for being known.

JDINTERACTIVE said:

'"I tried pulling its trunk...the light just wouldnt come on'."

Christopher said:

'Girls can't smoke...what it is!'

Sacred Trust - One True Voice

This pole was held on UK TV. Here are the worst 100 songs that have entered the UK chart. However, I don't agree witha all hese choices )concidering how much shit there is to choose from. Please post your comments.

The Cheeky Song (Touch My Bum) - The Cheeky Girls
Shite, irritating record condoning sexual harrasment sung by scarey, anorexic twins from Translyvania. People say "Don't you fancy them?". I did not grow up on Hammer Horror films to then go off with 2 Translyvanian twins who have a strange, glazed look in their eyes. I know 4 a fact that my naked body would be found drained of blood in the woods.


The Millennium Prayer - Cliff Richard
Thus Cliff has condemned himself to a lake of fire for all eternity for daring to dedicate so foul a record so great a creator. I wonder if he enjoys the number 2 slot?


Agadoo - Black Lace
They live near me but I have yet to have the chance to kill them yet.


Candle In The Wind 1997 - Elton John
Makes the vomit fly out of my ears, it's so vile.


Fast Food Song - The Fast Food Rockers
Must destroy.


Mr Blobby - Mr Blobby
Children should not be allowed to buy records. See also above record.


Because We Want To - Billie
Sticking 15-year olds into the pop business should be forbidden on the grounds of child protection.


Barbie Girl - Aqua
"You can comb my hair/Undress me anywhere" uh, no thanks. In fact, the world would be a happier place if you could just keep your clothes on. The scariest part is that this record was made and performed by grown adults. Must be the proximity of the artic circle.



Achy Breaky Heart - Billy Ray Cyrus
I think Bill Hicks said all that needs to said about BRC!



Jenny From The Block - Jennifer Lopez
Fame hasn't changed her, she was a stuck-up, miserable arsehole before she was famous.


Orville's Song - Keith Harris and Orville
Who the fuck bought this one?


Look At Me - Gerri Halliwells
I'd rather not, you vacous, moronic amoeba.


Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini - Bombalurina feat. Timmy Mallett
Timmy Mallet may have given Mike Myers his first break but his also released this satanic screaming dog turd.


(Everything I Do) I Do It For You - Bryan Adams
Oh my God! How did this manage to stay at number 1 for so long when nobody I knew bought the motherfucker? Some of them must have been lying to me.

Sacred Trust - One True Voice
Ha! Ha! Down the plughole! Shite bastards.


Against All Odds - Mariah Carey and Westlife
What do you call a dog with 5 cocks? Mariah Carey and Westlife


Who Let The Dogs Out? - Baha Men
Who let the Baha Men out? Nurse!


5,6,7,8 - Steps
Steps' attempt at recreating the magic of Iron Maiden's "666 The Number Of The Beast".


Living Next Door To Alice (Who The F**k Is Alice) - Smokie feat. Roy 'Chubby' Brown
A completely pointless, shite, rehack of a shite, pointless old record.


Anyone Can Fall In Love - Anita Dobson
but how can anyone fall in love Bryan May?



There's No One Quite Like Grandma - St. Winifred's School Choir
I dunno, Kylie Minogue certainly beats her anyday.


Teletubbies Say 'Eh-Oh' - The Teletubbies
I think when this became a hit, people realised that singles just weren't selling as much as they used to.


Earth Song - Michael Jackson
Damn! For ages I've been telling people that he's innocent and then you remind me that he is guilty of this overblown, insincere, cackhanded ballad. Lock him up your honour.


The Lady In Red - Chris de Burgh
Twat.


My Heart Will Go On - Celine Dion
Bint.


No Way No Way - Vanilla
The most moronic record ever recorded. The most moronic girl group ever assembled. Imagine the guy at the record company, "Hey, why don't we assemble a Spice Girls type girl group conisting of readers wives-style teenager girls who can't sing?". The resulting talent search scoured literaly every girls borstal and care home in South London before discovering these girls who no one can name. Male fans of the group will be pleased to hear that the loud, blonde annoying one is now servicing the capital's bathcelors from a phone box near Kings Cross. Probably.


Wannabe - The Spice Girls
How did a band who sounded like your younger sister & her mates ripped on 20-20 become so big? What is a Zig-a-zig-ah and would you dare to give one to any of them now?



For All Time - Catherine Zeta Jones
Never heard it, never want to


Mama - Who Da Man? - Richard Blackwood
Not you, you light entertainment twat



Can I Touch You There? - Michael Bolton
Only if you want to see me in court, you freak. How dare you murder "When A Man Loves A Woman", someone ought to murder you. Only in the 80's could a man with a suit and a birds nest on his head become a success with bland, soulless soul songs.


The Birdie Song - The Tweets
FUcking shite


Suspicious Minds - Gareth
God-awful jumped up Pop Idol karaoke singer. Send him straight to hell with a bullet. Anyone know Osama's e-mail address? Let's start a smear campaign. Get to your photoshop now "Gareth Gates says 'Down With Islam'".


Diamond Lights - Glenn Hoddle and Chris Waddle
All football records are shite (apart from the New Order one). I'm glad to say I managed to give this one a very wide birth.


Lucky - Britney Spears
You're fucking lucky you've still got a carear, love. The only people who like you are married men in their thirties whose wives won't let them touch them any more.


Long Haired Lover From Liverpool - Little Jimmy Osmond
Child exploitation, pure & simple. Why didn't social services take him off the stage & put him into a home.


Believe - Cher
Stupid old hag.


Macarena - Los Del Rio
next!


Boys (Summertime Love) - Sabrina
Phwoaar! Nice video, shit song.


Just Say No - Grange Hill Cast
and people wonder why the UK top's Europe's drug-taking charts? After this record, many of us made a sub-concious decision that when we were old enough, we were going to take drugs till we're blue in the face.


Y Viva Espania - Sylvia
Who?


Unchained Melody - Robson and Jerome
Oh, the fury that this provokes in my guts. Which shit-for-brained morons decided that rather than buy the definitive recording by The Righteous Brothers, they'd rather have a version sung by 2 tone-deaf twats from a shite Sunday evening TV drama? When the revolution comes, I will make sure everyone who bought it goes up against the wall.



Can We Fix It? - Bob the Builder
If Bob is a builder, why isn't he a fat, racist, sexist, sun-reading, lager-swigging, student-smacking lazy git who overcharges for everything and displays his arse crack to the world? Just wondering...



Fog On The Tyne (Revisited) - Gazza and Lindisfarne
Similar to 'Living Next Door To Alice (Who The F*** Is Alice?)' in that some shit bunch of has beens get the man of the moment to join them & rerecord the closest they ever got to a decent tune. STupid public buy it.


Shaddap You Face - Joe Dolce Music Theatre
Would you belive this kept Ultravox "Vienna" off the top of the charts?


Chick, Chick, Chicken - Natalie Casey
b4 my time, thankfully


Ice Ice Baby - Vanilla Ice
This is great. I have a Queen obsessed friend and evertime he plays "Under Pressure" I kick in with the VI rap. Of course, he looked ridiculous and he is ridiculous and this is awful.


Touch Me (I Want Your Body) - Samantha Fox
? Well, I would.


Grandad - Clive Dunn
Aw, you can't hate this. Clive Dunn was a well-loved actor and Herbie Flowers played on this. He played the bass on Lou Reed's 'Walk On The Wild Side'.


Puppy Love - Donny Osmond
Anyone who is not a menopausal woman will join me in denouncing this as CACK.


Hooray Hooray, It's a Holi-Holiday - Boney M
Cheerful music? It'll never catch on.


I Will Always Love You - Whitney Houston
Nothing has dimmed my hate 4 this record over the years. A fucking travesty. The aural equivilant of being punched repeatedly in the face by a drunken dosser.



Dick-A-Dum-Dum (King's Road) - Des O'Connor
B4 my time but Morecambe & Wise always slagged him off, so I'll join them - Shite!


Girl, You Know It's True - Milli Vanilli
Awww. I liked them. One of them's commited suicide, you know. After this, the other one might not be far off. One thing though - wasn't anyone suspicous that they sung in fluent English but could barely speak it? Just a thought.


Out Of Your Mind - Truesteppers and Dane Bowers feat. Victoria Beckham
"This songs going to punish you" - hot true Victoria. This song punished the ears of every poor bastard who heard it. Even people's pets laughed.


Mysterious Girl - Peter Andre
Who bought this? Admit it, you only bought it because u liked his torso. Women dare to call us shallow but u can't have bought this for any other reason.


Back Home - England World Cup Squad
Presumably this is a sad, maudlin ballad, filled with woe & sorrow, probably reminiscent of The Cure or Sparklehorse.



Every Loser Wins - Nick Berry
or they at least might get 1 number one before dissapearing into obscurity, pop up a few years later in an imbecilic police drama for a bit then dissapear off the map AGAIN.


MmmBop - Hanson
I once dated a girl who bought this. She was very dirty.


Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep - Middle of the Road
Oh I quite like that one!



I Wanna Be A Hippy - Technohead
Fairly shite technopop.



Don't It Make You Feel Good - Stefan Dennis
No Stefan, it doesn't. You were a twat in a twatty soap opera and you were a twat of a popstar.


I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That) - Meatloaf
Pussy.


We All Stand Together - Paul McCartney and the Frog Chorus
Is this the same man who sang "Helter Skelter"?


Star Trekkin - The Firm
Oh fantastic. A comedy Star Trek record. This was a UK number 1. How are we supposed to feel patriotic when we live in an island of mongs?


Perfect Moment - Martine McCutcheon
Crap song but she is so sexy.



Doop - Doop
Crap dance record that does for big bands what Jive Bunny did for rock 'n' roll. It murders them.


We Are The World - USA for Africa
Fucking typical Americans. They think they're the world.


Give Me Your Body - The Chippendales
What? This bunch of monkeys released a single? Christ, I guese there weren't enough women with marital & weight problems around to get this one far into the charts.



I Should Be So Lucky - Kylie Minogue
Aw, leave her alone! She's a goddess


Cotton Eye Joe - The Rednex
Kill them all


The Floral Dance - Terry Wogan
I think this features the Brighouse & Rastrick Brass Band (unless Terry himself can play all the instruments) so I can't be too harsh but how corrupt is it when a radio DJ releases his own record and plays it all the time? Terry Wogan, you are corrupt.


I Lost My Heart To A Starship Trooper - Sarah Brightman and Hot Gossip
No, you lost your heart to an ugly man who makes shite, ugly musicals for all the dumbest toursists in London to go see. You're in London, capital of the World's theatre. What do you go see? Some exciting cutting edge new writing? New comic talent? Perhaps some classic Shakespeare? No, you go see a musical about cats or trains. That's right, sexy Sarah Brightman broke the hearts of the nation's young men by marrying Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber, thus destroying all our notions of a beautiful woman going for a man because of his personality not his status. No-one has fancied her since. As for the West End, since 9/11, all the gullible types who go to his shows have been hiding under their beds and are too scared to fly. Suddenly, theatreland is getting almost interesting. Next!


We Will Rock You - Five feat. Queen
Oh God, we know you guys were gutted about losing Freddie (one of the greatest frontmen ever), we know you miss the limelight when you could fill huge fucking stadiums but were you really so desperate for anyone to look at you that you would team up with this bunch of inbred gimps? Still, it was fun laughing at Queen fans when this came out.



Dirrty - Cristina Aguilera
Not her shittest song ever but definitely the shittest video ever. How much cash & effort only to look like a crackwhore?



Wind Beneath My Wings - Bette Middler
Uggghhh. Dad you're so embarrasing. Now don't go to a record shop ever again.



No Limits - 2 Unlimited
In the 80's a new kind of dance music revolutionized the way we went out and grooved. A few years later it had been watered down into this Europop piss for safe consumption by 13-year olds. They took themselves very seriously, which was odd because everybody hated them (and still do).


I Wanna Sex U Up - Color Me Badd
About as sexy as a night in Neverland. Wankers.


The Laughing Gnome - David Bowie
I love David Bowie, so I've managed to avoid hearing this record because I'm kind that way.


Love Is All Around - Wet Wet Wet
The Troggs wrote a beautiful, gentle, moving ballad. Glasgow's very own boys from the brown stuff turned it into a big, pompous, stodgy, annoying piece of dog shit.



So Macho - Sinitta
Yeees. Well, I can't slag this one off as I have gay friends and they'll beat me up if I diss this.


American Pie - Madonna
Piss weak but u gotta love it 4 the way it wound up everyone over 40.



Do Ya Think I'm Sexy? - Rod Stewart
Did you know this man used to be in a really good band? He was in a fantastic band called The Faces and then this happened. Nowadays, he murders old Billie Holliday & Ella Fitzgerald songs. Did you know he also collects model railways? I think that excites him more than his blondes collection judging by this lustless, pre-viagra, pop shite.



We Built This City - Starship
Which city did you build exactly? Probably Wakefield, that's a shithole and THIS AIN'T ROCK 'N' ROLL!



Let's Get Ready To Rhumble - PJ and Duncan
Hmmm, let's not. U guys make great TV presenters, the most common sexual fantasy among British women is a 3some with this guys & they're liked now. Back in these days, everybody hated them. I think they'll stick to what they know best.



Love And Tears - Naomi Campbell
Never heard it, but she is fit.


Save Your Love - Rene and Renato
Real rock stars! No, only joking - real wankers. Next!


Saturday Night - Whigfield
I went to a wedding last weekend and they played this. It's still shite & people's Mums were still doing the dance.


Hello - Lionel Richie
I seem to remember another orger pointing out that in the video he was spying on the blind girl in her appartment or that he snuck in and checked the statue or summat. Sick bastard.


Remember You're A Womble - The Wombles
Fuck off! Don't fuck with the Wombles.


MacArthur Park - Richard Harris
What?


I'd Rather Jack - The Reynolds Girls
Ah, I remember this. This is the one where they denounce "Heavy Metal" and "Rock 'n' Roll" as "Music of the past" and claim the future is "Jack". Well, I bet that's certainly what they earned.

Vindaloo - Fat Les
I quite like this. I remember seeing them perform it at Glastonbury with Bez, who had been thrown off site for possesing 40 odd e tablets. He climbed over a wall and joined the band on stage. The plug got pulled, security snatched him and Keith Allen carried on screaming this song at the top of his voice.


Ebony And Ivory - Paul McCartney with Stevie Wonder
Nice intentions, bad record.


My Toot Toot - Denise la Salle
What?


Ebeneezer Goode - The Shamen
Crap, although it was funny to hear a record with a chorus "E's are good" on the radio and at number 1.

Making Your Mind Up - Bucks Fizz
Awww, they had something (probably a brain tumour, but they had something).


Do They Know It's Christmas? - Band Aid II
I can't remember the second band aid at all.

Rabbit - Chas and Dave
Did you know that C&D were session players in the 60's & 70's? They played with Labi Siffre on one of his albums. One of those tracks was "I Got The" which Dre sampled for Eminem "My Name Is". So Chas & Dave helped Eminem become a superstar. No, I swear, I'm not making this up.


C'est la Vie - Bewitched
Talentless bints, long consigned to music's great dustbin

Spaceman - Babylon Zoo
Didn't the 5 second snippet in the jeans commercial sound fantastic? Sadly, it was just a 5 second song intro & the actual tune was RUBBISH!