http://www.forgivenessday...hero02.htm
Powerful stories...

Yes, powerful.

In some very serious cases I don't think I have the capacity for forgiveness.

Being forgiving is one of the greatest gifts one can give
TO HIMSELF .

Something I read and I love it...

"Since we do love ourselves, we would not want to burden ourselves needlessly, would we?
Yet that is what we are doing when we nurse grudges and refuse to be forgiving,
for as one person wrote: "A grudge is too heavy a load for any man to carry."

Melody

Supernova said:

co sign

does that make me a bad person? I hope not.

Sweeny79 said:

Same here, I hope not too.

And in general I'm not one to dwell on things forever. I can honestly say I've never felt hatred for anybody. I hope that never changes.

SensualMelody said:

wonderfull

damn, i dont know how them people do it...a big hand to them.

i'm still burning inside for all the shit people have done to me over the years. i only find peace when i get pay-back...and i'm leaving these dishes icy cold before i serve them.

shit, i need to sort shit out

Oprah had a great show on this topic around Thanksgiving. It featured a woman who was hit by a drunk driver and her face/body burned beyond recognition--she met with the mother of the man who'd injured her. There was also a man who'd forgotten his infant son in his car on a summer day while he was at work--he and his wife discussed self-forgiveness and the wife's having to forgive him. There was also a submarine captain who didn't see a boat as he was surfacing, and killed many on board the other craft.

For me, personally, the key to forgiving those I feel have wronged me is 1. time 2. acquiring compassion for the other person and 3. feeling heard by that other person involved. I tend to be a very passionate person who feels things intensely (good and bad), and sometimes I am quick to anger when I think someone is intentionally hurting me or someone else. By allowing time to pass, I am able to see things more clearly, without the veil of emotion clouding my vision. I must also somehow place myself in the other person's shoes in order to forgive someone--somehow try to see and understand how someone could do such a thing. Even if it's something I'd never do in a million years, sometimes I can still comprehend how someone else might have the need to have done what they have done. But most importantly, to forgive, it helps me so much to have open and honest communication with that person who hurt me. I have held onto some things so much longer than I needed to or wished to, because either that person refused to communicate with me and allow me truth and closure, or I was so injured and needed protection so badly that I couldn't find it in my heart to open the lines of communication.

Anyway--forgiveness can be hard. But it's so critical. And I think one of the fallacies of forgiveness is that people believe if they forgive, it's letting that other person "off the hook" for what they've done, or that it's for the benefit of the other person. But that's not where the healing lies. I believe the power of forgiveness is that it allows us to get "unstuck", to go on to learn and experience more of life rather than stay mired down and stuck, wallowing in anger and hatred and negative life forces.
[This message was edited Tue Dec 30 16:05:10 PST 2003 by AnotherLoverToo]

Ardeo said:

I feel you all too well

I have always been a very forgiving person, sometimes a little too forgiving. There was this asshole guy in my life about six years ago that hurt me really bad and left me when I needed him most, and like a dumb bitch I found it in my to forgive him some how.

Paisley said:

I can't forgive that crap avatar!

Never!

2the9s said:

I'll change it in a month

Paisley said:

2the9s said:

The end of next month

"but I think it's about..forgiveness..forgiveness..forgiveness"-Don Henley

.
[This message was edited Tue Dec 30 21:30:03 PST 2003 by rdhull]

rdhull said:

even if you don't love me anymore? that's a hard one

Sweeny79 said:

an ultimate

Still going trough that strugle. Can almost forgive, but never forget!

Whateva said:

it's okay not to forget..it's about forgiveness

There's a lot of truth on this thread...