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Printablecborgman said: rdhull said: Vodka--lots of vodka and cranberry juice..helps.
thankfully, my mother's lover Sue, keeps a really well stocked liquor cabinet that she is happy to mix things from for me. which of course sends my JW brother into rants about the evils of alcohol, but after a few drinks, his voice is replaced in my head by prince singing usually. I dont know but this fmaily of yours sounds hella funny/fun--like some damn crazed holiday movie comedy/drama..I know when its our own family its painful and brutal but if I were to hitch a ride Id be havin a good time with these characters/folks just trippin etc... "Climb in my fur." | |
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cborgman said: JediMaster said: I sooo understand what you mean. I live in the same city with my family, but I don't really see them that often, 'cuz my mom is nuts! No, I mean literally! Why my father hasn't had the poor woman commited years ago is beyond me. I mean, I love her, but she's totally squirel-bait! A couple of Christmases ago, she entertained us all with her elaborate theory about how Alec Baldwin is possessed by demons! The other day she called to tell me how Prince Charles is the Anti-Christ (she has a great explanation for that one). Great! I get to hear all about that one this year!!!
My dad is great, as long as he doesn't get started on politics (he's an ultra-conservative, so you can imagine that he and I clash on this topic). My siblings and my grandma are a joy, but we're all dreading my mom's random rants that explode when you least expect it! She can be going along, seeming as normal as can be, and then she'll suddenly burst forth with some cockamammie theory about how Hillary Clinton is secretly trying to murder all the Christians (yup, that's another real one she came up with). To top it all off, my dad lost his job recently, so the stress is making her worse than normal (often she's able to act normal for extended periods, although she almost always acts up at immediate family gatherings). 
god bless you for being as screwed up as i am about family. you and me and freespirit and others tht come from severely screwed up fmailys need to gather together at the holidays and drink ourselves into oblivion.   
Here, this first rounds on me! Cheers!!! 
Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. (Ecclesiastes 7:9) | |
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U could talk to them about Prince, the WHOLE Holiday!!! 
They would get so pissed off with it, they would kick u out of the house, then u could catch an early flight home!!
They will also b very disinclined 2 want u next Christmas!!! | |
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rdhull said: Vodka--lots of vodka and cranberry juice..helps.
Or, judging from that story, vodka and cranberry JELLY!
Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. (Ecclesiastes 7:9) | |
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Wait! What happened to the story? Did I just imagine that? Well, if I've finally inherited my mother's insanity, at least I'm imagining hallucinating funny stories, not secret plots by demons to take over movie stars.
Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. (Ecclesiastes 7:9) | |
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VinaBlue said: JediMaster said: cockamammie
i don't think i have heard anyone use that word since i was a kid Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely. - Lord Acton | |
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cborgman said: VinaBlue said: JediMaster said: cockamammie
i don't think i have heard anyone use that word since i was a kid It was really the best word that I could think of!!!
Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. (Ecclesiastes 7:9) | |
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rdhull said: cborgman said: rdhull said: Vodka--lots of vodka and cranberry juice..helps.
thankfully, my mother's lover Sue, keeps a really well stocked liquor cabinet that she is happy to mix things from for me. which of course sends my JW brother into rants about the evils of alcohol, but after a few drinks, his voice is replaced in my head by prince singing usually. I dont know but this fmaily of yours sounds hella funny/fun--like some damn crazed holiday movie comedy/drama..I know when its our own family its painful and brutal but if I were to hitch a ride Id be havin a good time with these characters/folks just trippin etc... from an outsiders perspective it is freaking hilarious, mostly unintentionally. they don't realize what comedy gold they are. my mother is paranoid about my one man show though, cause i told her i talk about the family, but that it's mostly about my father's side. i think she is convinced somehow i am lying and it's all about her. Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely. - Lord Acton | |
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JediMaster said: cborgman said: JediMaster said: I sooo understand what you mean. I live in the same city with my family, but I don't really see them that often, 'cuz my mom is nuts! No, I mean literally! Why my father hasn't had the poor woman commited years ago is beyond me. I mean, I love her, but she's totally squirel-bait! A couple of Christmases ago, she entertained us all with her elaborate theory about how Alec Baldwin is possessed by demons! The other day she called to tell me how Prince Charles is the Anti-Christ (she has a great explanation for that one). Great! I get to hear all about that one this year!!!
My dad is great, as long as he doesn't get started on politics (he's an ultra-conservative, so you can imagine that he and I clash on this topic). My siblings and my grandma are a joy, but we're all dreading my mom's random rants that explode when you least expect it! She can be going along, seeming as normal as can be, and then she'll suddenly burst forth with some cockamammie theory about how Hillary Clinton is secretly trying to murder all the Christians (yup, that's another real one she came up with). To top it all off, my dad lost his job recently, so the stress is making her worse than normal (often she's able to act normal for extended periods, although she almost always acts up at immediate family gatherings).
god bless you for being as screwed up as i am about family. you and me and freespirit and others tht come from severely screwed up fmailys need to gather together at the holidays and drink ourselves into oblivion.
Here, this first rounds on me! Cheers!!! aww, thanks dave Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely. - Lord Acton | |
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Gold319 said: U could talk to them about Prince, the WHOLE Holiday!!!
They would get so pissed off with it, they would kick u out of the house, then u could catch an early flight home!!
They will also b very disinclined 2 want u next Christmas!!! good idea! the best thing is i can already tell there is gonna be a monologue about them coming out of this for the one man show, it already has great potential and i haven't even gotten on the plane yet. Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely. - Lord Acton | |
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JediMaster said: Wait! What happened to the story? Did I just imagine that? Well, if I've finally inherited my mother's insanity, at least I'm imagining hallucinating funny stories, not secret plots by demons to take over movie stars.
i edited it out...was too long, and as i read over it, i realized my writing has come a LONG way in the 6 years it's been since i wrote that. the writing is not up to my level now, so i don't think i want people to read it. Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely. - Lord Acton | |
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JediMaster said: cborgman said: VinaBlue said: JediMaster said: cockamammie
i don't think i have heard anyone use that word since i was a kid It was really the best word that I could think of!!! it was cute, and made me nostalgic fro my great grandmother on my fathers side who used to say it before she died. god, i miss grandma meemee. she was so cool, and pretty much the only other sane family member i had. she used to grin at me with a "aren't you so glad you and i are not nuts like the rest of these morons" look when it would really be at the fever pitch high of family insanity. Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely. - Lord Acton | |
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cborgman said: JediMaster said: Wait! What happened to the story? Did I just imagine that? Well, if I've finally inherited my mother's insanity, at least I'm imagining hallucinating funny stories, not secret plots by demons to take over movie stars.
i edited it out...was too long, and as i read over it, i realized my writing has come a LONG way in the 6 years it's been since i wrote that. the writing is not up to my level now, so i don't think i want people to read it. THANK GOD!!! I thought I was starting to take after mom!!!
Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. (Ecclesiastes 7:9) | |
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You guys think you have it bad. My girlfriends mom had 14 personalities due to childhood trauma.
I swear we never knew who she was gonna be. She'd walk into the bathroom at the airport and come out a different person... It was so bizarre. It took years of therapy, and she finally fused into one person. Chin up, and call your brother and tell him you will take a cab. (Good idea FS) ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect, it means you've decided to look beyond the imperfections... unknown | |
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oh, god... i just realized not only am i gonna have to go to my mother's church on christmas eve, she is gonna do what she always does during the service when i am there, and talk about me and tell people i am single.
the first 50 plus man who wears too many rings and too much cologone that smiles laciviously at me is gonna get a look of death from me. Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely. - Lord Acton | |
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Shit if you lived up here you could skip your family and come with me to mine. They are all crazy as well, but in a good way. Just keep excusing yourself to use the bathroom. That is what I do when I have to spend time with my stepmother's family. "a poor fool indeed is a man who adopts a manner of thinking for others" | |
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sag10 said: You guys think you have it bad. My girlfriends mom had 14 personalities due to childhood trauma.
I swear we never knew who she was gonna be. She'd walk into the bathroom at the airport and come out a different person... It was so bizarre. It took years of therapy, and she finally fused into one person. Chin up, and call your brother and tell him you will take a cab. (Good idea FS) i swear my mantra in life is "worse things happen to better people" i just keep reminding myself of that. Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely. - Lord Acton | |
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cborgman said: JediMaster said: cborgman said: VinaBlue said: JediMaster said: cockamammie
i don't think i have heard anyone use that word since i was a kid It was really the best word that I could think of!!! it was cute, and made me nostalgic fro my great grandmother on my fathers side who used to say it before she died. god, i miss grandma meemee. she was so cool, and pretty much the only other sane family member i had. she used to grin at me with a "aren't you so glad you and i are not nuts like the rest of these morons" look when it would really be at the fever pitch high of family insanity. I know what you mean. My father is too close to it to appreciate such a thing, and my grandmother is a little too out of it, but my siblings all give each other those looks (with the exception of my youngest brother, who's only ten). My sister just turned 17, so she now is old enough to share in the secret communication that my brother and I have. We give each other these looks, and eventually start laughing. My mom then gets all whacked, and starts saying "are you guys making fun of me", to which we just have to claim that one of us passed gas or something.
Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. (Ecclesiastes 7:9) | |
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prrtybby said: Shit if you lived up here you could skip your family and come with me to mine. They are all crazy as well, but in a good way. Just keep excusing yourself to use the bathroom. That is what I do when I have to spend time with my stepmother's family.
if i keep excusing myself to go to the bathroom they will probably think i am on coke. i like going to other families for holidays, but it always depresses me, because i know at the end of the day, as uch fun as i have had and as cool as they have been, no matter how hard iwish it, they're not my family. Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely. - Lord Acton | |
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JediMaster said: cborgman said: JediMaster said: cborgman said: VinaBlue said: JediMaster said: cockamammie
i don't think i have heard anyone use that word since i was a kid It was really the best word that I could think of!!! it was cute, and made me nostalgic fro my great grandmother on my fathers side who used to say it before she died. god, i miss grandma meemee. she was so cool, and pretty much the only other sane family member i had. she used to grin at me with a "aren't you so glad you and i are not nuts like the rest of these morons" look when it would really be at the fever pitch high of family insanity. I know what you mean. My father is too close to it to appreciate such a thing, and my grandmother is a little too out of it, but my siblings all give each other those looks (with the exception of my youngest brother, who's only ten). My sister just turned 17, so she now is old enough to share in the secret communication that my brother and I have. We give each other these looks, and eventually start laughing. My mom then gets all whacked, and starts saying "are you guys making fun of me", to which we just have to claim that one of us passed gas or something.
you know what would be hysterical? mix my crazy family and oyur crazy family and watch the insanity go round. Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely. - Lord Acton | |
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good point. "a poor fool indeed is a man who adopts a manner of thinking for others" | |
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prrtybby said: good point.
the sad thing is jason my thug life brother would probably ask why i wasn't sharing with him. Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely. - Lord Acton | |
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cborgman said: JediMaster said: cborgman said: JediMaster said: cborgman said: VinaBlue said: JediMaster said: cockamammie
i don't think i have heard anyone use that word since i was a kid It was really the best word that I could think of!!! it was cute, and made me nostalgic fro my great grandmother on my fathers side who used to say it before she died. god, i miss grandma meemee. she was so cool, and pretty much the only other sane family member i had. she used to grin at me with a "aren't you so glad you and i are not nuts like the rest of these morons" look when it would really be at the fever pitch high of family insanity. I know what you mean. My father is too close to it to appreciate such a thing, and my grandmother is a little too out of it, but my siblings all give each other those looks (with the exception of my youngest brother, who's only ten). My sister just turned 17, so she now is old enough to share in the secret communication that my brother and I have. We give each other these looks, and eventually start laughing. My mom then gets all whacked, and starts saying "are you guys making fun of me", to which we just have to claim that one of us passed gas or something.
you know what would be hysterical? mix my crazy family and oyur crazy family and watch the insanity go round.  MAN!!! That would be funny (okay, to everyone on the outside it would. We'd probably be in hell the whole time!)
Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. (Ecclesiastes 7:9) | |
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JediMaster said: cborgman said: JediMaster said: cborgman said: JediMaster said: cborgman said: VinaBlue said: JediMaster said: cockamammie
i don't think i have heard anyone use that word since i was a kid It was really the best word that I could think of!!! it was cute, and made me nostalgic fro my great grandmother on my fathers side who used to say it before she died. god, i miss grandma meemee. she was so cool, and pretty much the only other sane family member i had. she used to grin at me with a "aren't you so glad you and i are not nuts like the rest of these morons" look when it would really be at the fever pitch high of family insanity. I know what you mean. My father is too close to it to appreciate such a thing, and my grandmother is a little too out of it, but my siblings all give each other those looks (with the exception of my youngest brother, who's only ten). My sister just turned 17, so she now is old enough to share in the secret communication that my brother and I have. We give each other these looks, and eventually start laughing. My mom then gets all whacked, and starts saying "are you guys making fun of me", to which we just have to claim that one of us passed gas or something.
you know what would be hysterical? mix my crazy family and oyur crazy family and watch the insanity go round. MAN!!! That would be funny (okay, to everyone on the outside it would. We'd probably be in hell the whole time!)true. how much do you think one of those rooms with the two way mirrors rents for? Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely. - Lord Acton | |
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It's gonna be my first Christmas without any family eccept the one I choose myself :Woot:
It's gonna be my first real Christmas!!! 
(shit, I wish this thing had spellingcheck). [This message was edited Tue Dec 23 9:47:42 PST 2003 by Whateva] | |
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I feel for you, Chris. Just pretend you're in a sit-com and make light of it all. Ὅσον ζῇς φαίνου
μηδὲν ὅλως σὺ λυποῦ πρὸς ὀλίγον ἐστὶ τὸ ζῆν τὸ τέλος ὁ χρόνος ἀπαιτεῖ.” | |
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cborgman said: prrtybby said: good point.
the sad thing is jason my thug life brother would probably ask why i wasn't sharing with him. None of this visit sounds like much fun for you and I am sorry about that. At least they want you there with them for the holidays. "a poor fool indeed is a man who adopts a manner of thinking for others" | |
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good luck chris  "oPS i HITTED THE CAPDLOCK" | |
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Lammastide said: I feel for you, Chris. Just pretend you're in a sit-com and make light of it all.
good idea Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely. - Lord Acton | |
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prrtybby said: cborgman said: prrtybby said: good point.
the sad thing is jason my thug life brother would probably ask why i wasn't sharing with him. None of this visit sounds like much fun for you and I am sorry about that. At least they want you there with them for the holidays. thanks... i am thinking that's more the problem than it is the good part, but...Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely. - Lord Acton | |
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