CtheUncanny said:

actually its yin meet yin

matt said:

OK, then you break down all of the alters on here.
People are in disguise on here probably more than they are on the street. You don't know who you are talking to half the time. You find a few that you trust and maybe share with them.

matt said:

Quite true -- but let's analyze this virtual 'community' for a minute.

I read numerous comments from individuals here (and on other forums) on a regular basis which suggest that many people would not conduct themselves in a face-to-face conversation as they do when interacting in these virtual communities. They have a valid point.

People often use virtual communities to exercise aspects of their character that, for various reasons, they elect to sublimate in real life. Some even create multiple identities which may or may not reference their personal traits or beliefs -- how many people in this forum have more than one username? Seems to be quite a few.

I acknowledge, of course, that there will always be exceptions -- some people will attempt to forge meaningful relationships via Internet forums. But my point is this: at the end of the day, you do not really know most of the people with whom you are interacting in a virtual community. I do not understand why so many people have difficulty accepting this.

I have declined to comment on your relationship with Melissa because, quite frankly, I do not feel it is any of my business. To clarify, I would not feel it was my business if you were involved with a married woman, a single woman, a married man, a single man, or a flock of geese. You seem almost obsessed with the idea that the polyamorous nature of your relationship is the primary issue many orgers have with its disclosure. Many of us simply do not understand the reason you (or anyone) would feel particularly compelled to discuss your relationship in great detail with a virtual community of strangers -- that is really all there is to it, whether or not you choose to accept that.

Since we are discussing your relationship, I will offer my opinion (not that it matters): if you are happy, stick with it; if not, leave it alone.

It is unfortunate that Melissa has, in retrospect, found some of the comments put forth in her thread upsetting. This is particularly sad, considering she appeared to have posted the thread in such a way as to garner substantial amounts of attention. She seemed fully aware of the controversial nature of the subject matter, and she seemed to revel in that controversy to some extent. Melissa willingly became the org poster child for polyamory, and then took issue with the results.

In any event, at the end of the day, you must do whatever you feel is appropriate for your situation. I will miss Melissa -- she was well-spoken, and she made me think, whether or not I agreed with her opinions (and for the record, I usually did not).

All the best to Melissa and to you.

todd305 said:

definitely. It's like pulling a cat's tail and then being upset that it scratches you. You should have thought of that before you pulled the cat's tail in the first place.
[This message was edited Sat Dec 20 11:16:27 PST 2003 by jessyMD32781]

jessyMD32781 said:

At first I was sad Melissa is leaving but after reading what she did to that poor cat

How could you do that, Melissa ?

Did she leave yet? She didn't have too. Oh, well... Just another episode of "As The Org Turns...

AaronAlmighty said:

Is that why we don't share any more ball shaving anecdotes?

J0eyC0c0 said:

no, that's because i don't shave my balls anymore



but the fact that you've brought that up upsets me greatly, and i will now be leaving the org because i can't handle people talking about things that i've brought up in the past





[This message was edited Sat Dec 20 16:59:20 PST 2003 by AaronAlmighty]

AaronAlmighty said:

Tackam don't go please don't let this get you down. I will miss you.

Matt, the relationship between Tackam and you is special. If some people don't like it, so be it. All the power to you and Tackam. for you both.

jessyMD32781 said:

Cats aren't responsible for their actions. People are.

todd305 said:

I don't accept it, because it's a cop-out. We have not discussed our relationship in any great detail. I just reread the original "Statement of Love" post, and aside from the poly issue, it basically says this:

• We're in love with each other
  
• No, this isn't some kind of Internet game
  
• It's a long-distance relationship, which is hard
  
• Yes, we've both been around here a long time, and yes, it's odd that we never really interacted with each other for most of that time
  
• To avoid the appearance of impropriety, I will not involve myself in moderation decisions involving Melissa
  

Yeah, that's some pretty intimate stuff there.

I have no doubt that if a "traditional" couple posted something covering those five bullet points, nobody would accuse them of inappropriately disclosing anything. But add the poly issue, and suddenly people are offended.

It seems that a lot of people here are in denial. I'm just waiting for somebody to pipe up with, "But some of my best friends are poly!"

AaronAlmighty said:

And you think that's a license to do whatever the hell you want, and screw the consequences? Really, Aaron, I just don't understand why you feel the need to pretend to be a badass when you're online.

I've just read both threads and I've decided to sell my televison. Who needs TV when there's Prince.org. I'm cracking my side because the same negative shit that went down in the old thread is goin' down here. Ya'll some evil motherfuckers. But hey.. without evil, there could be no good.

edit...
[This message was edited Sun Dec 21 5:57:00 PST 2003 by marcdeondotcom]

matt said:

exactly, which is why people should think before they do things that might end up upsetting them in the long run. Especially if they're sensitive people in the first place.

rdhull said:

well, i'm apologizing because i blamed the wrong person. obviously i either need to spend more time on the ORG figuring out what's up hor else learn to keep my mouth shut and stop offering my opinions around for free.

but actually i had to post this: after being out all day yesterday driving here and there, doing christmas shopping and mingling with roads full of freaky drivers, dodging shopping carts pushed by men and women with glazed and staring eyes, sorting through different sized garments and being shoulder jostled by surprisingly strong old ladies, after making small talk with desperate-eyed cashiers, i. . . i .. i actually found myself driving home and thinking "phew. at least i can go home, sign on to the ORG and talk to some 'normal' folks". hehehehe. get it? 'normal folks'... arrggg...

ps: has anyone listened to the Gold Experience lately? i was jamming on that one in the car yesterday.

why do people feel like it's their job to make others thick-skinned? you may or may not be right, but if there weren't so many people with that philosophy, maybe there would be no Reason to need to be think-skinned.
one of my favorite quotes by the way: "if something would hurt your feelings, you shouldn't say it. if you're thick-skinned you should be especially careful"

well that should take care of that! *rubbing hands together*

I didn't know she was back...oh well...

XxAxX said:

I was listening to TGE just the other day. It was the perfect release after finals.

jessyMD32781 said:

You have totally missed the point. Furthermore, your implication that Melissa did not think before we posted the "Statement of Love" thread is inaccurate.

matt said:

Dude? Seriously? What am I in denial about? I personally happen to NOT CARE about your love life, whether you're polyamorous, monoamorous, or frickin' polyurethane. MY point is that my reaction to all of those "bullets" is "WHO CARES?" Uninteresting tripe, over-emotional dramatics is all that is to me (Sidenote: TO ME. I don't speak for anyone else but me). You're in love? SO WHAT!? Has nothing to do with "denial". I don't mean to be mean whatsoever, but really, this topic has gotten WAY more attention than it deserves.

Hey Matt instead of this stupid assed nonsense (since youre a mod ) why cant u get with Ben to create a damn reviews section forum for art, film, books etc. instead of making shit like a love and sex forum that is deemed such a pressing issue? Thanks.

matt said:

yes sir. mod sir! [snip. bad, bad jessy!]
[This message was edited Sun Dec 21 13:05:38 PST 2003 by jessyMD32781]
[This message was edited Sun Dec 21 13:22:15 PST 2003 by jessyMD32781]

jessyMD32781 said:

I liked your pre edited response better lol..but nevertheless..be careful..cuidado...

rdhull said:

yeah, I'm gonna edit that. my last comment was out of line.

jessyMD32781 said:

Im not saying it was out of line..I just saying it's a a mod you are dealing with..a mod and his woman.

rdhull said:

I still think that my comment was out of line. Being in love is a good thing that shouldn't be mocked liked that. I do think, however, that this thread is a good reason why mods shouldn't date orgers unless they can be sure that they can keep things professional. It's like when a boss is sleeping with one of his employees. He can talk all he wants about how that employee isn't going to get "special treatment" but everyone knows that's not going to be true. While tackam may not have gotten any kind of special treatment before she left the org, she's certainly getting it now.

This thread seems like nothing more than Matt scolding us for not liking that "statement of love" thread that the two of them started and not liking polyamory and making his girlfriend run away. She left on her own, no one held a gun to her head and said, "leave you polyamorous freak!" In fact, I don't think anyone even sees her that way. It sounds like most people liked her fine when she was here and are sincerely happy for the two of them.

Mods don't do this when other people get upset about something and leave so I don't see why this mod is doing it now. This thread is just crazy. It should be locked.

jessyMD32781 said:

It should have never been created.And nobody mocked their love etc..they laughed/debated at his defensiveness..and he is/was defensive. And yeah..it was like the boss fucking one of the employees...and the employees' husband SQUAWWWK! :LOL: ...now "THATS" mocking