NEW ORLEANS—According to a report published in the September issue of the New Orleans Journal Of Medicine, a number of habits long believed detrimental to one's health—including binge-drinking and unprotected sex with multiple partners—may actually prolong and enrich one's life. "Massive intake of alcohol instills a deep sense of happiness, which is essential to longevity," the report stated. Random sex with a variety of partners is likewise encouraged: "Exhaustive field research throughout New Orleans indicates that coupling with as many people as possible is a very good thing," the study read. Other behavior endorsed by the renowned medical journal includes eating excessive amounts of rich, spicy food; inhaling nitrous oxide; and screaming "Whoo!" as loudly as possible in public. To aid the early detection of breast cancer, the study also strongly recommended that all women between the ages of 18 and 45 annually expose their breasts to cheering crowds.

New Orleans Journal Of Medicine - VOLUME 32 ISSUE 11 — 14 OCTOBER 1997

Well, then, based upon my wicked youth, I should be all set for longevity!!

AnotherLoverToo said: