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PrintableAnotherLoverToo said: minneapolisgenius said: AnotherLoverToo said: Remember, brother was also sexually abused by their father (possibly by the stepfather as well). Apparently, the abuse was so bad that he is now physically and mentally disabled--he's 25 yrs old and still has to wear an adult diaper (bowels damaged by good ole Dad), has anger/temper tantrums, cuts himself, doesn't bathe or groom himself, and is addicted to the computer and drinking Coke. He collects SSI.
This to me is the saddest (is that a word  ) part yet.  Yeah, he's a whole other element. The brother doesn't like it that his sister (my client) and her boyfriend are there, and has become very agitated and the police had to come pick him up one night because he was yelling and freaking out... Luckily, my client and her boyfriend had already identified a transitional housing program they were trying to come up with a deposit for, so they can get out of there and not upset him (or themselves) anymore. The mother is an active alcoholic, too. "I saw a woman with major Hammer pants on the subway a few weeks ago and totally thought of you." - sextonseven | |
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is it worng that while i am very emotionally overwhelmed by stories like this, i also enjoy hearing them because it reminds me i am not as damaged as i could be?
i always kinda feel guilty about that like i am using these people as a way of making myself happy. i used to have a boyfriend that worked at a state mental institution, and i used to make him tell me about his clients (in very general ways so that he was not breaking confidentiality) for the same reasons. Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely. - Lord Acton | |
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AnotherLoverToo said:  This thread is gonna look like I was digging for compliments. PLEASE understand, I am not Mother Teresa here!  I can often be a misguided, stubborn, angry, foolish asshole! This was really just to give you a taste of what's out there in today's America for me, and to share just two examples of the variety of the human experience. I come home most days feeling a mixture of worry and amusement and awe. I don't want to give you the wrong idea, though--most of my families are wonderfully healthy (although a bit poor) and NOT drug addicted.
There's so much more to tell, someday!  There are my Somali and Ethiopian families, who insist upon feeding me everytime I come there (like I need it! LOL). They make homemade Chai for me, and last week showed me how they make oatmeal (thinner and sweeter and smoother). The children who are fascinated by my briefcase and try to chew on it and jump up and down on it, or pretend they're "Daddy" with it (one little boy recognized it as something his father has and was imitating him, trying to carry it around the room ) The kids who are fascinated with my hair and my face and smile and hug me: a total stranger, but someone they know--can literally sense--truly cares about them.
Anyway--it's about them, not me, and anything postive YOU guys get out of it . Thanks for reading!
[This message was edited Tue Nov 4 15:25:16 PST 2003 by AnotherLoverToo] My response was just an immediate reaction and a real one. Of course you're not fishing for compliments, that would be the last thing I could think. It warms my heart that people like you exist in a world full of negativity and BS. More importantly it gives me hope, thank you again. | |
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cborgman said: is it worng that while i am very emotionally overwhelmed by stories like this, i also enjoy hearing them because it reminds me i am not as damaged as i could be?
i always kinda feel guilty about that like i am using these people as a way of making myself happy. i used to have a boyfriend that worked at a state mental institution, and i used to make him tell me about his clients (in very general ways so that he was not breaking confidentiality) for the same reasons. I think what you describe can be perfectly natural, Chris!  I think the feelings you describe are a combination of genuine curiousity about how other people live, and wanting reassurance about the healthiness (or lack thereof) in our own lives, AND it's a way to connect to our humanity/empathy in general.
I see a lot of GOOD things happen with my clients, too, and that's always cause for high spirits. But even if it's a negative or heartwrenching encounter that I have, it's a great way to get "right-sized" about my own problems. In no way should I minimize or deny that my issues exist, but my clients help me put my shit in its proper perspective, as well as stay at least somewhat upbeat. | |
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Thanks so much for sharing that Carrie.
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You deserve a lot of respect and admiration for what you do, I hope that at sometimes, you hear happy stories, or manage to save someone and steer them in the right direction. Kudos!
D | |
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I tried to get on with other posts but just could not stop thinking about this thread. I feel so embarassed to be worried about such trivial day to day things in light of hearing what some people go through, both you, and your clients. It must be so hard not to take this stuff home with you, and thats when it becomes more than just a job. You really are a special, loving, person. Don't ever fool yourself, not just anyone could walk a day in your shoes. You really have put a lot of stuff in perspective for me today, thanks once again.  for you! | |
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life is big...keep up the great work...i respect you 
this may be the longest thread i've ever read...i usually skip 'em | |
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God bless you AnotherLoverToo... your outlook on life and people in general, never ceases to amaze me. |
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moderatorMoxy said: I tried to get on with other posts but just could not stop thinking about this thread. I feel so embarassed to be worried about such trivial day to day things in light of hearing what some people go through, both you, and your clients. It must be so hard not to take this stuff home with you, and thats when it becomes more than just a job. You really are a special, loving, person. Don't ever fool yourself, not just anyone could walk a day in your shoes. You really have put a lot of stuff in perspective for me today, thanks once again.
for you! Don't be embarrassed, Moxy! We all have to take care of ourselves and our own lives first, even if we have jobs helping others. This is kind of a silly analogy, but I always think of how they tell you in the airplane about your oxygen mask and if the cabin loses pressure, you're supposed to put your mask on first and THEN help your family/others. Cause if you pass out from lack of oxygen, you're not gonna be of help to ANYone!
We have to take care of ourselves first. No shame in that at all. That said, I am not the best at "self-care"--eating right, exercising, letting people help/love me. Thanks for taking the time to post and I'm so glad it spoke to you in some meaningful way! | |
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MrBliss said: life is big...keep up the great work...i respect you
this may be the longest thread i've ever read...i usually skip 'em And you know I adore you, Ducky! We've got "history"! 
and I am truly truly flattered that you took the time to read it, cause it is long | |
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AnotherLoverToo said: MrBliss said: life is big...keep up the great work...i respect you
this may be the longest thread i've ever read...i usually skip 'em And you know I adore you, Ducky! We've got "history"!
and I am truly truly flattered that you took the time to read it, cause it is long Damned ass long! ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect, it means you've decided to look beyond the imperfections... unknown | |
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sag10 said: AnotherLoverToo said: MrBliss said: life is big...keep up the great work...i respect you
this may be the longest thread i've ever read...i usually skip 'em And you know I adore you, Ducky! We've got "history"!
and I am truly truly flattered that you took the time to read it, cause it is long Damned ass long! For the illiterate or lazy, perhaps, sag! 
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