I don't like public bathrooms.

If I'm out of the house, I'll "hold it" till I can't stands it no more!

So... then I'm forced to use the public bathroom. I open the door, first the stench.

Next, the stall... what lurks behind the door? Unflushed mess from a patron before you? Nothing? Good.

I grab some , wipe everything down. Don't forget the seat cover! No seat covers? Gently lay on the seat instead.

If it's a urinal trip only, I have no problem... 'cept when it's time to flush. Gently kick the handle with your foot... ahhh, didn't have to touch anything.

Time to wash... soap and water and (preferably) paper towels.

Time to exit this private hell of mine... so now I must open the door.

The bathroom door knob is the most disgusting door knob you'll ever encounter... who's been handling it that doesn't wash?

No problem. The aforementioned paper towels are still in hand... opens the door and leaves.

I'm a freak on this ritual...and I'm teaching it to my sons!

Am I crazy?

I hate public bathrooms.

i dont think so...i do pretty much the same exact thing...especially using the paper towels to get out...afterall...not everyone washes their hands after that experience

Yer i agree, most of dem are gross as unless it's at fancy restaurant or hotel!

justkelley said:

So true. I hate it when I have to use a public bathroom and I see someone leave without washing her hands. It is so disgusting. How can you not wash your hands after you use the bathroom? How can someone be THAT gross?

June7 said:

You are not crazy. This is perfectly normal because I am exactly this way.


Except for the urinal part.

I never totally sit on a public toilet, i just sorta squat over it.

Yeah, you holding your breath as long as possible...until your purple heads matches !!

1. Public bathrooms should ALL have white noise machines installed, so we're not forced to hear the reverberating strains of each other's poop noises.

2. A little tip for the guys about rubbing your boogers on the wall of the bathroom stall (usually right under the toilet paper dispenser): KNOCK IT OFF. Seriously - that's nasty. And when you're rubbing your boogage right under a perfectly good source of booger disposal (toilet paper ain't just for buttholes, mmmkay), it just makes it look like you're flaunting your big ass nasty boogers. WE'RE NOT IMPRESSED.

3. When you're done going to the bathroom, FLUSH THE GOD DAMN TOILET. What kind of person doesn't flush when they're done taking a poo? I mean, that's SKANKY. There's nothing "rugged" or "macho" about not flushing when you're done in the bathroom - it merely suggests to me that you were locked in a basement for all of your youth and don't know what to do now that you can't merely cover your feces with dirt and shredded newspapers.

4. When I'm making a doody, I don't want to talk to you. As a general rule, unless you've reached the handwashing stage, talking in the bathroom is gross. I know it's like a "we're all guys here" locker room mentality thing, but please - SPARE me your fraternal goodwill, I'm defecating.

5. HOW DO YOU GET SHIT ON A TOILET SEAT??? Never mind. Don't tell me. JUST WIPE IT OFF.

...okay...i feel a bit better getting alla that off my chest...now if you'll excuse me, i gotta go take a dump...

Anxiety said:

OH MY GOD I HAVE TO USE THIS AS MY SIG!!!

Anxiety said:

too funny and I totally agree.

And THIS...

A little tip for the guys about rubbing your boogers on the wall of the bathroom stall (usually right under the toilet paper dispenser): KNOCK IT OFF. Seriously - that's nasty. And when you're rubbing your boogage right under a perfectly good source of booger disposal (toilet paper ain't just for buttholes, mmmkay), it just makes it look like you're flaunting your big ass nasty boogers. WE'RE NOT IMPRESSED.

...is just ONE more thing for me wo worry about now.

Anxiety said:

What is wrong with guys?!! *shudder*

co-sign. Perfectly normal behaviour.



That ain't the half of it. I recently submitted a suggestion where I work that they post "Please do not urinate or deficate on the toilet seat", "Now wash your hands" and "No, really, wash your hands you filthy creep" signs in our bathrooms. The disgusting thing is that these signs are really needed. Some bright spark recently thought it would be hilarious to do some 'poo graffiti' on the toilet wall.

I usually say 'Oy, you forgot to wash your hands' if I see somebody leaving the bathroom without doing so. So far I've mostly been ignored but a few have been embarrassed and said 'Oh yeah' (like they really forgot).

I have never and will never understand why some men choose to piss all over the toilet seat (and it is a choice). I am a man, I know what my aim is like. Even if it were a case of extreme laziness it still makes no logical sense not to lift the seat. After all, I may have to sit on it very soon myself.

Yeuch.

Ahhh, normalized by the .org, yet again... thank you.

Only in extreme emergency. And i mean extreme.

conch5184 said:

Grown ass men need potty training.

CtheUncanny said:

What? You mean piss on a toilet seat? There's no emergency that extreme! If you're ever in that much of a hurry you could lever the seat up with one foot while you're unzipping!

It's all about the squat.

AsylumUtopia said:

I was talking about using a public bathroom. Where did you get all this from my response? I will use a public bathroom only in an extreme emergency for reasons stated by the author of this thread.

Paisley said:

and you are SOOO right!

I never wash my hands in public bathrooms unless it's one
of those sensor tabs.

Think about it, you open the tab with your hands and all
those other dirty piss and poo infested hands have been
there before. It's wet or at least moist so bacteria are
feasting on there.

Last week my public bathroom phobia caused me to just get
in my car when I really was about to burst and drive home
eventhough there was a restroom just 5 feet from where my
car was parked.

I just couldn't. They're disgusting. So I sat there on the
freeway, about to burst with still 45 minutes to go.

In the end I just had to take an exit and park my car along
a pitchblack road at the edge of a forrest and take a slash
over there.

Even the prospect of getting killed in a nighttime forrest
was less bewildering than having a piss at one of them loos
along the freeway. Cuz those are the most vile, most gore
and filth infested places to exist on the globe.

A gutter in Calcutta is usually cleaner and less likely
to give you tetanus than a public bathroom in either one
of the most civilised western countries.

Plus, if you want to sit and have a quiet crap at one of
them highway lavatories, there's always the danger of some
unwashed smeghead trucky shoving his weewee in your face
through one of the many gloryholes.

Not for me, thank you.

i try 2 avoid it, but if I must, there's gotta be soap and paper towels. then i can wash my hands, and use the paper towel to open the door, so i don't have to touch the dirty door knob. do u know how many people don't wash their hands after the do? then they go put their shitty/pissy hand on the door??? Ewww...

It's not the door people, it's the tab! The watertabs are
the most disgusting things in the whole bathroom!!!

Sensor-tabs only, or nothing at all. I can handle my own
willy-germs but not someone else's. I'm not resistant to
stranger-groinal-bacteria.

IstenSzek said:

LOL!!! "Stranger-groinal-bacteria" -- good term!

Yeah, but the people touching the tabs are then touching the door. And the people that AREN'T touching the tabs are ALSO touching the door!!!

But I see your point. I may adopt your policy!

And add to the germs for other people who don't realize it's on the doorknob? No I get a paper towel and use that to touch everything, including the water faucet.

Too many unwanted germs lurk on toilet seats. Beware!!

I am loving this country - I am - but I gotta say that the public restrooms are in a much worse state than anything I've ever seen in the US, hands down. I have yet to find a paper toilet seat dispenser. The water pressure is often too low to wipe away anything at all, leaving toilet paper, yellow water, or shit streaks in the bowl. In the US, public toilets are flushed using your foot. Here you have to use your hand. repulsive. And when you add that with the lack of soap next to the sink the results are horrifying.

Students are even worse. Half of the toilets in my dorm are rendered unusable because they are clogged, or full of shit. Boys pick out one stall for standing and they will piss in it until it is full to the brim, making the whole goddamn room smell like a urinal (and I am always the one stuck flushing it!) There are signs all over the place threatening us that the toilets have been reported as being in an unacceptable condition and we should have respect for others who use that bathroom.

The other day I went into a toilet across from my friend's room and it smelled like a barnyard. The toilet looked like an elephant had squatted in it. I guess someone took a gigantic, inhuman shit right on top of a 1/2 pint glass from the bar that had been dropped into the toilet. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THEM?!?!

Natsume said:

Natsume said:

that's horrible. it's one thing to have to deal with that when u're out, but in your own living space??? ick. sorry!!!