OK, I admit it. I have a sinister streak where harboring grudges is concrned. But I swear -- it's ONLY with people who dick me over for zero good reason, because I'm generally the nicest guy you'll ever meet.

Earlier this year, I got unfairly canned from a job (some of y'all might recall my "blue period" last spring), and I found out a few weeks later that my boss not only got the ax as well, but just slightly avoided an embezzlement lawsuit. I tried not to gloat, but, hey, I'm human.

Anyway, I found out tonight that a guy I was sort of "dating" about two years back -- who emotionally abused me (no hyperbole), used me for money and academic, social and career connections, had no fewer than four HIV scares with other men while we were together, started shooting up meth behind my back, spread rumors about me to mutual friends, and just about everything else a guy could do to another human being -- broke his back after falling 20 feet from a ladder last month! He apparently missed severing his spinal cord by a single inch!

Know what? My reaction wasn't pity or gratefulness that he survived. It was, "Damn... Only one more inch to go."

Part of me is literally repulsed by my own reaction. I feel like Damien, the adolescent antichrist. I've never been so vindictive, and it's hard to believe I could think something like that about another person... especially one to whom I once was so close. Strangely, though, I can't say all of me feels guilt.

...I guess I needed to vent here more than much else, but what do you all think about humans' capacity to think and do horrible things they never thought themselves capable of? Do you think we're somehow punished for engaging these dark parts of ourselves... or is this merely a dynamic of being a human animal?

You should get the Electric Chair!

I agree with u, I am not by me or anybody else considered a nice person, in that I fervently believe in payback and revenge.
I don't know u, but it makes u a better person on my book that u admit to be human

Paisley said:

I thought so too.

Know something else I found out about how f*cked up a person this guy is...

He's apparently been online in local sex chatrooms cruising for guys to visit him in his hospital room so he can secretly suck them off. No lie.

That makes me feel sorry for him, actually.
[This message was edited Thu Oct 23 23:44:03 PDT 2003 by Lammastide]

Lammastide said:

One measly inch.

Lammastide said:

Did U get for ex-boss fired, did U push that *** off that ladder? If the answer to both is 'no' then feel free to wish them dead and don't feel guilty about it either. U havn't killed anyone, as hapy as it makes U.

Teacher said:

why? you seem nice

Christopher said:

She is, and she's human aswell. If someone treats us shity while all were doing is going about our lives in peace then we should be aloud to wish they'd drop dead in a serverly painful way.

CAMILLE4U said:

What is tougher is that I've actually daydreamed about him getting brutally hurt sinc eI last saw him over two years ago. When I got the news tonight, it felt creepy almost.

CAMILLE4U said:

I am not nice

Seriously though, I agree with what 'Mille says. That's what it's about, I honestly believe that people who say that they wish everybody, even people that hurt them, the best, are full of shit.

Lammastide said:

Ever see Evil Dead 2 where that womens head gets sliced up with a chainsaw. Fantasise about that next, I doubt he'll survive next time it comes true.

Teacher said:

I know sweety, I just didn't think U wanted a rep.

Teacher said:

"I am not nice "

aww i bet yer just a bag ol bag of sugar

/

Christopher said:

No one can help their thoughts. What you do with them is what counts.

Are your feelings easily hurt ?

feeling sorry for people that have dicked you over is utterly useless.


yeah, compassion, kindness, caring, eternal peace love and prosperity for all mankind, turning the other cheek, blah blah blah. it's crap.



don't feel guilty.

AaronUniversal said:

Spoken like a true cynic. :applause:

They got what they had coming to them. I'm a believer that whatever you do in life will eventually come back to you whether it's good or evil.

CAMILLE4U said:

Now I never wanna meet either of you two

AaronUniversal said:

Aa,

Teacher said:

*trying to see if teacher gives in*

Christopher said:

U think I'm easy, too?

Imma stop jacking Lammastide's thread now
[This message was edited Fri Oct 24 2:38:13 PDT 2003 by Teacher]

Teacher said:

no just trying to get you all lovely dovy for the boards...

is it working?

Christopher said:

No lovey dovey, didn't u see I got on Sweeny's and DudeDrops' cases earlier on the book thread?

After just reading your post (not the reations) I can only say that I totally understand your feelings.
They are not condemnable in any way.

They are JUSTIFIED.

As we know. inches count, hehehe.







Now THAT was mean...

gooeythehamster said:

Only to those that don't have or don't get them.

Sounds like Karma to me (if you believe in that). His "near miss" should have been a wake up call for him. In any case His life is on a different path to yours, you didn’t bring him any harm by your thought. You certainly shouldn’t feel guilt for wishing anything on him for more than a few seconds.