Hi everyone.

I need a bit of help here. I've just been on the phone to a friend of mine asking for some advice and I think I may be a bit out of my leauge. My friend Caroline just phoned me and said that a couple of nights ago she met a guy in a chat room. She said he seems like a really nice guy and that 2NIGHT he's going to be in her town. This guy sent her an e-mail this morning asking if she would meet him and show him 'round town.

I'm not sure that meeting someone she's just met online is a safe idea, but she seems to be sure that he's very sweet and sincere. I'd go myself and keep an eye on things but she lives far too far away.

She said she's gonna think about it. Should I call her back and say something? What do U think?

Indeed you should say something...

I personally don't think it is a good idea. A couple of nights does not make a nice person. He could be a mass murderer for all she knows.

Please encourage her not to go... alone.

i will listen in on this...as i have something similar happening with me...

so let the advice flow

sag10 said:

but if she took a friend or was in a public place she'll be safe right?

this was weird...
[This message was edited Mon Oct 20 11:04:42 PDT 2003 by sag10]

...yeah, if she just has to go out of being curious, dont go alone! two people to ID a person is better than one,

sag10 said:

Think U got the wrong thread there sweety.

CAMILLE4U said:

You know Camille4U, if she goes she should have a male with her...And in very public places.

silverjean said:

sag10 said:

I think your right. Personally I don't think it's worth the risk to go alone.

CAMILLE4U said:

alright...that said...i do have to ask this question...whats the difference between meeting someone in a bar and getting together again...or meeting someone on the net ?

you dont know who anyone is these days

CAMILLE4U said:

Not at all. I don't know how far you live from her.. But it would be good if her time was occupied.

sag10 said:

It's 7pm over here, and it's a 4-5 hour train journey. By the time I get there all the pubs and clubs will be chucking out. If shed called me a few hours ago I would of. I think it's too late for that.

justkelley said:

That is very true girl a girl can never be too careful now days.

Paisley said:

Very true.. my girlfriend flirted with this guy at a bar. He said he had some vintage cars he wanted to show her. She went with him and he raped her..

sag10 said:

DAMN!

sag10 said:

what a ASS!

Paisley, Kelly, Sag10, Thank U so much. That last bit has made up my mind. I'm going to call her and insist that she dosn't go!

Paisley said:

They never found him... It was horrible... she walked to my house like at 5 in the morning... She was wrecked. I took her to the hospital, and got her some counseling. She is scarred, but she is strong, and doing well.

sag10 said:

My goes out to her, I cant imagine going through something like that.

sag10 said:

It's stories like these which start to make me change my views on capital punishment!

How old is she?

I don't think you can stop her from seeing him, or that it's your place to make her stop, however you can suggest she waits until another opportunity arises, after she's got to know him a little better.

If she really must go, try to make her aware of the importance of meeting him in a public place (ideally if she can get another couple of friends to go and have a drink in the same bar (at another table) it would be the safest option) and also VERY IMPORTANT ... tell her to keep a hold of her drink in case anyone tries to slip anything into it. This guy may be a really nice guy but these days it's better to be safe than sorry.

Good luck!

Raspberry said:

Well, if she had her heart set on it I's express my feelings but I wouldn't tell her what to do. U see she called me because she couldn't make her mind up U see. I think if I said no she'll then make her own mind up and say no. That's the impression I got from our call.

Thanks for the advice.

Keep it coming. I need to go for half an hour but I'll be right back.

Uh, I think just meeting for coffee first would be nice and proving he ain't married would be another.

The hardest thing in the world is when you have a friend who is reckless or too trusting and you try to tell them to be carefull. It's difficult to get your point across to them and not come across too forceful or like a parent.

I have similar problems with a friend who wants to walk home on her own when she's drunk, which unfortunately takes her past a big park. Sometimes I have to frog march her to an authorised taxi rank and force the cash into her hand.

Responsibilty, eh?

CAMILLE4U said:

oh cool ... in that case I'd advise her not to go ... get to know him better first.

I think the difference in my mind between meeting someone in a bar and arranging to meet them via the internet first is that usually if you meet someone in a bar you swap numbers and arrange to call. If you arrange to meet someone, you can almost feel like it's a second date and be tempted to put more trust in them than is wise.

It's a tough cool ... you sound like a fantastic friend though Camille.

Raspberry said:

I'd say it is probably fine, as long as she brings someone with her or arranges to meet in a crowded place that she knows well etc. Best way is to bring a friend along (such as you) to make sure it is cool.

ian said:

Just what I was about to say

Glad you brought the old avie back Ian, cracks me up everytime I see it.

He could pretend to be nice for awhile, but be different later.