OVERLAND PARK, KS —
Stung by flagging album sales and Eminem's supplanting him as Middle America's worst nightmare, shock rocker Marilyn Manson has embarked on a door-to-door tour of suburbia in a desperate, last-ditch effort to shock and offend average Americans.


Above: Manson knocks on a door in Grosse Pointe Farms, MI.

Accompanied by bandmates Twiggy Ramirez, Madonna Wayne Gacy, and Zim Zum, Manson kicked off his 50-city "Boo" tour Jan. 26 in Overland Park, a conservative, middle-class suburb of Kansas City.

"When we first laid eyes on Overland Park, with its neat little frame houses, immaculately landscaped lawns, and SUVs in the driveways, we couldn't wait to swoop down on it like the Black Death," said Manson, born Brian Warner in Canton, OH. "We were like, 'Welcome to our nightmare, you bloated, pustulent pigs.'"

Last Friday at 4 p.m., Mark Wesley, 46, a resident of Overland Park's exclusive Maple Bluff subdivision, heard the sound of "animal-like shrieking" coming from the vicinity of his front lawn. Upon opening his front door, he was greeted by the sight of a pale and shirtless Manson carving a pentagram into his chest with a razor blade.

"Look at me, suburban dung," Manson told Wesley. "Does this shock you?"

When Wesley replied no, he said Manson became "petulant." Recalled Wesley: "He started stamping his feet and shaking his fists, saying, 'What do you mean no? Aren't your uptight, puritanical sensibilities offended? Don't you want to censor me so you don't have to confront the ugly truth I represent?' So I say, 'Well, not particularly.' Then, after a long pause, he says, 'Well, screw you, jerk!' and walks off sulking."

That evening, Linda Schmidt was preparing to drive her daughter Alyssa to a Girl Scouts meeting when she found Manson standing on her porch draped in sheep entrails.

"I knew who he was, but I was kind of busy and didn't really have time to chat," Schmidt said. "He just kept standing there staring at me, expecting me to react in some way."

Added Schmidt: "I tried to be nice and humor him a little. I said, 'Yesiree, that sure is some shocking satanic imagery, no doubt about it. And that one eye with no color in the pupil, very disturbing. I'd sure like to suppress that.' I mean, what do you say to Marilyn Manson?"

A deflated Manson remained on Schmidt's porch as she and Alyssa drove off.

Subsequent attempts to provoke outrage were met with equal indifference.

"[Manson] was standing at my front door wearing those fake breasts he wore on the cover of Mechanical Animals," retiree Judith Hahn said. "He said, 'My name is Marilyn Manson, and I'm here to tear your little world apart.' I thought he was collecting for the Kiwanis food drive, so I gave him some cans of pumpkin-pie filling."

Undaunted, Manson and his entourage stepped up their assault on mainstream American sensibilities. On Tuesday, they arrived in the tiny Detroit suburb of Grosse Pointe Farms, where stockbroker Glenn Binford answered his doorbell to find Manson hanging upside-down on a wooden cross as Ramirez performed fellatio on him.


Above: A dejected Marilyn Manson ponders his next move.

"I just stood there thinking, now there's a boy who tries way too hard," Binford said. "I mean, come on: Homoerotic sacrilege went out in the late '90s."

Other provocative acts by Manson—including dismembering a chicken, bathing in pig's blood, and wearing a three-piece suit of human noses—failed to arouse anyone's ire, instead prompting comments such as "sophomoric," "trite," and "so Alice Cooper."

Manson's lone brush with controversy occurred in Edina, MN, a suburb of Minneapolis. An unidentified neighborhood-watch volunteer phoned police after seeing a nude, feces-smeared Manson being led around on a leash by a dwarf dominatrix. Officers arrived on the scene, but let Manson go with a warning for parading without a city permit.

"I could have given him a citation, but I figured, how much harm is he really causing?" Edina Police Officer Dan Herberger said. "I mean, he's just Marilyn Manson, for the love of Mike."

The "Boo" tour was dealt a further blow when Manson learned that Eminem's The Marshall Mathers LP had been banned from all Kmart stores. Manson's current album, Holy Wood (In The Shadow Of The Valley Of Death), is still available.

"Why are all you people outraged by Eminem? He's not scary!" Manson said. "He doesn't sport ghoulishly pale skin or wear gender-bending make-up. He's just some regular guy. I'm the one who people should be terrified by, not him! Me!"

"If you ban me," Manson continued, "I promise to rail against censorship and hypocrisy. Please? Pretty, pretty please?"

By Monday, the tour appeared to have lost all momentum. Sources close to Manson described him as "exhausted and discouraged," despite not having even completed the first leg of the three-month tour. By the time he arrived in Hoffman Estates, IL, Manson had resorted to leaving flaming bags of dog feces on doorsteps and shining a flashlight under his chin to make himself look "spooky." He was ultimately chased from a Hoffman Estates subdivision by a group of bicycle-riding teenagers who advised him to "get [his] chalk-white goblin ass" out of their neighborhood.

On Friday, Manson is slated to appear in Bethesda, MD, where many believe he will bring his tour to a premature end.

"Have you people forgotten already?" Manson told The Washington Post. "You all thought I was responsible for Columbine two years ago. Well, I was! I was! I know I vehemently denied it at the time, but, really, I personally told those two kids to shoot up the school. I'm serious. I sent them an e-mail. And I told them to worship Satan, too. You hear that, kids? Marilyn Manson says you should shoot your friends in the head with a gun! And everyone should eat babies! And rape their dead grandparents! And poop on a church! There, now will someone please be offended?"

Saw this on The Onion website - and just had 2 post it!
[This message was edited Sun Oct 19 3:21:35 PDT 2003 by bananacologne]

"Subsequent attempts to provoke outrage were met with equal indifference. "

These wre my fave bits:





Maybe it was Prince who phoned the cops!

Useless Trivia Dept:
Prince has met Manson - He was invited 2 a couple of Prince's parties a couple of years back in L.A and New York.

Interesting meet of minds: Kinda wierd when Marilyn Manson actually makes more sense than P!

Thats funny!

Really funny from Marilyn Manson

i love the onion!

bananacologne said:

Well, it's not that weird, they're both about the same height. I remember hearing that Prince was a big NIN fan, so this would follow.

The strangest storey I ever heard was about 1992/3, Melody Maker ran a news item claiming that Prince and Morrisey were thinking of working together. Sadly, the results have not surfaced anywhere (legit or otherwise).

i wish he come to my door id be like "gurl you iz soo fine"

daned said:

Never said their meet was wierd, just the fact that 'America's Most Wanted' communicates more intelligently than Prince has done in a long while.

I know 4 a fact that Prince also arranged 2 meet up with Trent Reznor back around 92/93 - Trent said that P had a copy of 'Broken' in his car and liked his production, and wanted him 2 do a remix (think it was of 'Loose').

Trent is a big Prince fan so was really looking 4ward 2 the meet. The day of the meet, they're both in the same building, and Trent opens his door and starts walking down a long hallway 2 be confronted by Prince at the other end strutting 2wards him dressed in a bright pink silk suit, hair all coiffured, high-slap, dwarfed by 2 goons.

Trent and Prince approach each other...Trent says hi, and Prince just blanked him...and kept on walking.

Needless 2 say, that little collaboration never happened as Trent was really pissed by his prima-donna attitude.

Although I heard that Trent went 2 see Prince in New Orleans on the Jam of The Year tour...

Rare & interesting video interview with Trent here:
www.thenewmusic.net/featu...rentreznor
Technical overview of Nothing Studios here:
www.musicgearreview.com/f...reznor.htm

*Now Im Nothing Edit*
[This message was edited Sun Oct 19 7:14:59 PDT 2003 by bananacologne]

I remember this from "The Onion" a few years back...priceless!

This must have been in the Onion about 3 years ago since Holy Wood came out in 2000. Funny article, only Zim Zum hasn't been with the band since '97.

daned said:

EvilWhiteMale said:

yea, isn't MM like over 6 foot?

Yeah - well, I thought the photos were fucking hilarious!!!

Excuse me Sir, can I interest u in a copy of The Dark Tower and a bottle of my own bile?

EvilWhiteMale said:

Yeah, it was, EWM...I remember reading it when I worked for the newspaper and I left there in late 2000.

who CARES what bloody year it was??? It's supposed 2 be funny!

:LOL:

bananacologne said:

It STILL is funny (you're just behind the times )

fuck, times is hard...

all y'all!

[This message was edited Sun Oct 19 8:37:08 PDT 2003 by bananacologne]

cborgman said:

He sure is. The dude towered over me.