LaCoyta said:

The best thing you can offer somebody is allowing them to care for you. Letting them see your strengths and weaknesses. None of us are perfect, it's what makes us human. Be yourself and you will be loved.

LaCoyta said:

that's no way 2 think...

if that's the case then my wife wouldn't have Married me...

LaCoyta said:

You should give me a call...seriously. Your character appeals to me.

lilmissmissy said:

With breasts?

LaCoyta said:

By being yourself. I know it's not easy when you're shy, but you have to work at just being natural. You say you were fat most of your life, well I doubt that has anything to do with never being on a date or not being kissed yet. There are many women who consider themselves fat (whether it's true or not) and still have partners, or are married. All men don't shun women just because of that. I really believe you might be too shy to mingle in the dating pool, so to speak. That would preclude you from having the experience you want. But you have to remember; you're just 19. You're not yet even in the prime of your life, so don't get down on yourself and feel as if your dating potential is over. Try and change your negative thought patterns, it will help curtail how you feel about yourself.

You have something to offer. You just don't realize it yet.

Btw, when I say "mingle in the dating pool" I don't mean you have to go to parties or anything where there are big crowds. I mean just be yourself anywhere in public. But don't put pressure on yourself for this. You say you have high standards, and that's the way it should be. Don't just settle.

`
[This message was edited Fri Oct 17 21:39:40 PDT 2003 by Supernova]

Supernova said:

What she said. She always has good advice.

What immediately strikes me is you can offer a self-aware, modest partner whose goodies haven't been spread around an entire neighborhood and who doesn't have a closet full of skeletons and emotional baggage from having dealt with a bunch of lame-ass men.

You're 19. These are your glory day! Just be smart, take it slow and never, never settle for anyone beneath your standards because you think you can't get someone better.

...And believe me, weight is not a factor. I know some REALLY big girls who work it like no one else ever could!

One pointer: Bolster your self-confidence. Men who are worth their salt will find that wildly attractive.

TRON said:

Re-sign!

LaCoyta said:

GIRL anyone who is gonna judge you exclusively off physical aspects is not what you want, you want someone who likes YOU and wants to bew with you forever. Oh and im in the same boat with ya, guys dont like me either

Lammastide said:

I adore you!

Re-sign!

LaCoyta said:

And your . That's the most important thing (it counts for a hell of a lot)

LaCoyta said:

I despair at something like this. Sure Uve gotta 'just be yourself' as many people have said on this thread but by saying all Uve got 2 offer and I quote 'nice breasts and Ur ability 2 write erotic stories' is both insulting 2 Urself and men; like all we want is sex. How very sad.

JDINTERACTIVE said:

I know there's more that men want and that's what I'm worried about not having.

LaCoyta said:

Anything specific worring U sweety. Not all men are shalow bastards. There are guys out here who can look deeper, into a persons mind, into a persons soul, their imagaination, their depth, the colour, the poetry. All people are special, and I know (I don't belive, I know) there is someone out there for everyone. So don't U be going and getting upset when your just being parniod.

CAMILLE4U said:

Just because you're paranoid does not mean they ain't out to get you!

CAMILLE4U said:

I'm worried about being passed over because of my looks. I wear glasses and have zits. I lost weight and can't afford new clothes so mine are ugly and baggy. I have this unattractive appearence (honestly who wants someone who looks like that?) and it's not going to get any better unless I get a job that pays $10 an hour. Right now I have no job. It's hard to get a job that pays $10 an hour. So I guess I'm doomed to be passed over for Britney Spears lookalikes.

althom said:

No...those i show in person

LaCoyta said:

Girl, i gotta tell ya, i once went through such an awkward period huuuh omg...i thought i was so ugly n i felt so fat (n i did for a stage have puppy fat) and i used to get teased n stuff too-it was hardcore. Things changed...i moved away from negative people, the puppy fat shed off, i developed my own style n hey presto, i get my a$$ pinched just 4 walkin down the street on my way to da train station, lol! HONK! TOOT! BEEP BEEP! HEY SEEEXXXY!!! So babe, dont give up, it'll all happen! Just have faith, n confidence (as is bein stressed in all previous threads)!!! Trust me, it will all b worth it in da long run!!!

lilmissmissy said:

I've been waiting for beauty for 7 years. I'm worried that it's too late for it to come. Some people are just plain their whole lives. My dream "loook" would be Apollonia meets Catherine Zeta Jones.
[This message was edited Sun Oct 19 10:50:44 PDT 2003 by LaCoyta]

LaCoyta said:

I just think you're going thru a phase. You can update your skills (if you haven't already) and look for that job you want, whether it's for $10 per hour or more. The economy isn't in a great state right now, so I'm sure that has something to do with it, but you know what? One important thing you also have to work at is keeping those negative thinking patterns about yourself at bay. I know it won't change overnight for you, but if you keep falling into the same self-inflicted traps nothing will change. Your mentality about yourself has to be different to get different results.

liberation said:

That confused me big time!
[This message was edited Sun Oct 19 11:00:40 PDT 2003 by CAMILLE4U]

Supernova said:

I have a two week internship that I don't think pays anything. So that sucks. Working my ass off for nothing. But I least it'll keep me away from food and maybe I'll be one step closer to skinnier legs.(I'd be delighted if one day I woke up w/ legs like Paris Hilton)
[This message was edited Sun Oct 19 11:08:34 PDT 2003 by LaCoyta]

LaCoyta said:

Do you exercise? You can do something as simple as walking a couple of miles 3 or 4 days a week.

Supernova said:

yes and my legs are still too thick. I hate them.

LaCoyta said:

Hmmm, there are people who think they're overweight, and they are. Then there are those who just think they weigh too much, but really don't. I don't know which category you're in, but if you really have a weight problem it takes work to slim down. As long as you're eating better make your exercising habits more intensive. Nobody puts on weight overnight, and nobody loses it overnight.

Supernova said:

Well I'm 5'2" weight 112 lbs and my thighs are like 20.5 inches.My calves are 13.5 inches. Gross.
[This message was edited Sun Oct 19 11:18:35 PDT 2003 by LaCoyta]

LaCoyta said:

Sweety, I don't think the problem is your body, it's your mind!

Lleena said:

...and don't forget the breasts.

2the9s said:

...How could we forget your breasts.

LaCoyta said:

I have a wonderful friend JUST LIKE YOU. Similar issue. She is my age. I am 23. Believe u me, it doesnt start from da outside, ya gotta a work ur way inside out By that i mean, u gotta see every damn positive thing u got in ya, and keep focusing on THEM...if looks r gettin 2 ya, confide in someone u trust and ask them if they can help u find ur "style" or "look" as such..then make a fun thing out of it! But u should Do it, knowing and believing that U are WORTH it!!! ANd knock em dead