Dilemma...

A Prince fan since junior high, I've been waiting two decades to see the Revolution perform. (I sincerely list missing the Purple Rain tour among my life's biggest regrets.) As good things come to those who wait, we may see a reunion on Dec. 13, 2003, in L.A. PLUS I might get to meet one of my favorite orgers.

HOWEVER...

My ex-wife, my best friend in the world and mother of my child, will be hooded after a grueling Ph.D. program on -- you guessed it -- Dec. 13, 2003, in the infernal Akron, Ohio.

Out of all the days in the history of the vast universe, why why why must these events fall on the same f*cking day!?!? It's like some sadistic cosmic joke!

To make things worse, my ex doesn't even want to go to her commencement! She'd rather be anywhere else, and has told everyone so -- she's going only to appease her snotty, insecure mother, whose been telling people for the past four years that her daughter is a doctor.

I don't know what to do. This SUCKS! HELP!
[This message was edited Sat Oct 4 0:08:42 PDT 2003 by Lammastide]

for a klondike bar? pretty much anything.

Missed Prince's tour in Toronto when I was in Paris last year, DON'T BELIEVE THE HYPE, you can still be a fan without catching every concert,,,

go with your ex-wife

suomynona said:

grrr

AaronMaximus said:

To her commencement or the concert?

Lammastide said:

to whoever's in charge of scheduling the commencement to see if it can be rescheduled.

suomynona said:

I wish.

Hey, maybe Supa will sleep with the appropriate person as a favor to me!

Lammastide said:

commencement. it's infinitely more important.

AaronMaximus said:

plus you'll save about a grand.

suomynona said:

:LOL:


Some things in life are more important than shelling out your rent money for a Prince show!!!

AaronMaximus said:

yep

Lammastide said:

Well, if that's how she feels about it, then it probably doesn't mean that much to her. If she knows you, she knows how much the Family Jam would mean to you. She's doing it for her Mum not for you, so let her Mum go and enjoy it. You go enjoy the Jam.

Peace

if she is a great friend, and your ex, and the mother of your child, go to the commencement..you have something valuable in a good relationship there, and its good to keep it!

Lammastide said:

Have you asked her how she feels about your attendance?

She's already said it's OK if I go alone, but having known her for 10 years, I know better. She'll be a bit pissed that I'm off having fun while she's stuck at her stupid commencement... for her mother.

Plus, though I still get along fairly well with her parents, I'm sure they'd offer a few passive-agressive jabs at me if I didn't show up -- and sometimes my ex can be impressionable.

What pisses me off most about this is they all know how much I'd enjoy witnessing this concert, no one will think twice of my sacrifice of having forgone it, and -- I swear -- the very day after the commencement, it will mean nothing to any of them.

My mother always told me (for situations where this kind of decision is necessary):

It's better to feel guilty than resentful

If the graduation meant a lot to your ex, and if she really wanted you to be there, I'd say go to the graduation. The whole purpose of a ceremony is to share a milestone, an achievement, but she doesn't appear to value it and she's only doing it because she feels like she "has" to. You don't have to be held captive like she is allowing herself to be.

A compromise: throw a party for her, or take her out someplace nice and spend some quality time with her. Make it a time to focus on her and her achievements, and that will be 100X better than a graduation ceremony.
[This message was edited Sat Oct 4 21:27:49 PDT 2003 by AnotherLoverToo]

No Damn U, unless I fly to Cleveland to bring you the video of the venue !

If this thing is a succes, it might even have a follow up !

But you've got to go to that commencement !!

First of all, yeah, talk to her about it. Explain the problem. Be prepared to suggest that she join you, at your expense, as a graduation gift (if she would enjoy it).

Commencement ceremonies are stupid and boring. I've known several people who have skipped theirs (inlcuding myself), and nobody seems to regret it. Good luck.

tackam said:

For the most part, yes. Especially when you graduate from a large university and the degrees are conferred en masse. But I have a fondness for academic apparel, especially the stuff I wore to my law school graduation... gotta love a purple tassel and purple velvet hood.

Who knows? Maybe the concert will suck ass and you'll be glad that you went with your ex. There is bound to be a boot circulating of the show anyway.

matt said:

So buy the apparel and skip the damn ceremony. She can buy the hood and wear it to the concert.