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PrintableAnotherLoverToo said: Well, I think the media and people in general tend to focus on 30-something single women more than men, because there is more social stigma attached to being single and female. If a man is single, he's often seen as being that way by choice, as not wanting to settle down, and wanting to be "free". Whereas, women are usually viewed as being single involuntarily, only because no one wants her, and that there must be something "wrong" with her. Older single men are referred to as "bachelors", while single women are called "spinsters" or "old maids"--definitely a less favorable term.
I believe that often, both men and women can be unrealistic in their expectations of a potential mate. Many times, we focus on attaining relationships with people who embody the physical or economical ideal, rather than intellectual, emotional or spiritual compatibility. Many of us have been subconsciously trained to think that anything less than perfection is "settling". Last, but not least, I think many of us are drawn to the "unattainable", thus setting ourselves up for failure and for being alone again (naturally  ). We are trying to resolve past issues, and find ourselves repeating the same 'mistakes' over and over again. We find ourselves attracted to the same type of person time and again--someone who is not necessarily "right" for us, yet we try to make them right, to finally "win" and resolve that abandonment or self-esteem issue.
[This message was edited Sun Oct 5 19:52:36 PDT 2003 by AnotherLoverToo] See, on the "you're still single?" issue, men once again have it easier than women. If a man is in his 30s and single and childless, that's fine. He's a bachelor or a James Bond-like playboy who's strutting his stuff and sewing his wild oats. But usually the mid-life crisis brings out that panicked "Oh my GAAWD!" response that results in the former stud-supreme becoming desperate for a wife and kids. And you know how most mid-life crisis guys go for younger chicks? That's sometimes because they want a kid. My asshole father dumped my mom for a woman 25 years his junior because he wanted a kid. As a single man, I find NOTHING AT ALL WRONG with a woman who's in her 30s and single. If she's never been married I actually applaud her because it says that she's choosy and is waiting for 'the right one.' There's NOTHING that sickens me more than people getting married to mask some insecurity. I want to get married and have kids running all over the yard...but if this doesn't happen, so it goes. If I don't meet my soulmate until later in life...so be it. I'd rather be ALONE and CONTENT than be in a passionless marriage that I jumped into because I was scared of being alone (which I almost did back in 95). We need to get off this obsession with "what's WRONG with you" if you're in your 30s and are unmarried. If nothing else...respect those people. They have probably been through ALOT of emotional trials and are ensuring that they're not part of that 50% that gets divorced in the first 10 years. | |
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jthad1129 said: if you are 30, single and have no kids..
you are BLESSED! ...AMEN!!! again an again!!! *... "ive always said, that if you have to ask for something more than once or twice, it wasnt yours in the first place"...* | |
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 Bravo, AnotherLoverToo!^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect, it means you've decided to look beyond the imperfections... unknown | |
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I'm childless, at least I think I am. To Sir, with Love | |
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