this is a another serious question from me...one i have wondered for a long time...

ok...you can guess the person i am from what i act like in here, i am friendly, outgoing, happy (most of the time), sensitive, compassionate, and trusting...which is why i feel i can ask this question of you all...

i think by now most of you have seen my kids pictures in one form or another...you know that i am the proud momma of 2 bi-racial children (one boy,one girl). anyway...heres the question...

is a woman...who has bi-racial children always to date outside her race ?

understand that this is NOT a racial question really (as most of you know that shit really bugs me), but instead a serious question aimed at be serious and heartfelt from me.

would you men out there feel comfortable dating a woman with mixed kids and feel comfortable marrying them ?

whatever your answer is...please let me know why either way...

justkelley said:

... is a man who would even consider this to be an issue worth dating?

I often wonder this myself, also being a mommy
of bi-racial children. For some reason I feel
I should be with a black man if I am ever with
anyone again. Not only that its my preference
but also because I think it would be most natural
to my children. But I do often wonder if I did
happen to fall for a white man or any other race
for that matter, how he would feel about me having
2 black children. Interested to see what others have to
say about this... especially the men.

hmmm... as a Proud PaPa of a BiRacial Son & 2 BiRacial StepChildren i've always like the Xotic side of things. it seems taht since i Married a White WoMan i'm Partial.

considering the fact that i NEVER thought i'd Marry let alone have a BiRacial Child i always thought in the BACK of my head that i'd have a BiRacial Child.


i like(d) Dating other Races & ain't nothing wrong with that. but if u MARRIED a Caucasion man & he was the StepFather he'd have 2 b 1 put 2gether Man 2 handle that.

not that we should care about what other people say or how they "look" at us but we Do care (don't we)...
[This message was edited Sun Oct 5 19:56:07 PDT 2003 by PurpleLove7]

luv4thepurple1 said:

Being a white male...I wouldn't have any problem with this at all. But I guess there would, unfortunatley, be some guys that would.

Raspberry said:

Very true however, like in my case... I dont let men
meet my children right away and to be honest dont feel
I am obligated to tell this information to them being that
my childrens race shouldnt be an issue. So after
dating someone for a while then brining them around my children
I would be curious to see how they would react... if they reacted
wrong of course they would get the boot. But you just never
know at the beginning.

PurpleLove7 said:

thank you honey...thats what the question really is aimed at...i know that not long ago i fell real hard for a white guy...and all my friends and family were like...

it was all well and good...i could understand their surprise at that given my history in dating...but as our relationship grew i was able to see that he had somewhat of a problem with it...see he was raised in the south and was unsure of what others would think...

it broke my heart...i loved him...but not like i love my babies...

ever since then...i have wondered this...thank you for your openness...and i hope we have much more of it

luv4thepurple1 said:

i sooo feel ya there girl

PurpleLove7 said:

damn i always hated that word "stepchild" lemme explain somethin, it shouldnt even be an issue if someone looks at you differently because u have bi-racial children ( and here we go with labels again) lol just havin flashbacks cus i was called so many names, but anyway, if a man looks or thinks different because of the culture and beautiful Mixture of your children hes completely ignorant

Finess said:

i totally agree with you steve...and i wish that the rest of the world felt the way that the people who have posted on here feel...

but ...there are those who dont see things like that...its just a cold, hard fact
but thank you for being you ...i always feel a great deal of support from you as far as my children go

justkelley said:

This situation rmeinds me of a scene in a movie called Q&A (1990) with Timothy Hutton and Jenny Lumet.

Kelly...I don't know why you worry about this. You'll get guys that will be a arsehole about the fact that you have children anyway. No matter what race they are.
The thing is...there are nice guys out there that just don't care about this at all. If they care about you, they will care about the children..no matter what.
To me...kids are kids. I don't care what religion or race they are...they're all adorable and cute.

althom said:

you rock baby

why cant there be a million of you running around ?

althom said:

co-sign - if the guy has ANY integrity and reasonable intelligence, it wont' make a bit of difference!

Finess said:

... actually, that questions like this are being asked at all makes me sad. We shouldn't live in a world where it should even be an issue, as Steve said.

Being bi-racial myself, it makes me wonder how people would judge me if I went somewhere like America. I've never had problems before, not even when I went to S Africa, but the race issue seems to come up so many times from our friends across the Atlantic that I do wonder what's going on over there.

Raspberry said:

hey sweetie...this was in no means to be a put-down to anyone...i of all people would never hurt anyone intentionally

if i could change this part of the world...i would do it in a heartbeat

much to you baby

like Finess said.. the Labels do need 2 go... a child doesn't usually ask... what race they are... they just go 4ward & live their life...

White male, wouldn't care about your children's color, would marry regardless.

honest and to the point. I'm actually kind of surprised this is even an issue, though I admit I am not a mom of bi-racial children.

savoirfaire said:

you'd be surprised

luv4thepurple1 said:

Well said luv4
So what your saying is your single

I'm a biracial child and my mother "remarried" someone who was of her race (white) and the race issue was the least of our problems. I would think that getting adjusted to a new family situation would be a bigger issue than dealing with the fact that you have biracial children. I do understand the worry though.

"Mixed race" kids have a unique shuffling of the DNA compared to most...they will have unusual strengths. Uniqueness is priceless.

teller said:

i have heard this before...
not exactly those words...but something to that effect...

justkelley said:

absolutely. why wouldn't someone?

It really shouldn't be an issue. Unfortunately, some people are very shallow.

You know I met a really wonderful older lady 3 weeks ago. Was married forever, had 3 wonderful bi-racial children. Her husband left her for another... Do you know that she never dated after that. She always put her children before she did herself... She said that she always felt like their race would be an issue... So she saved herself, and her children the pain. Very brave of her... ANd she is so profoundly happy.

i claim that i am devoting all my energy to my kids ( which is what they get ) but...at the same time...

it would be nice if we had a man around too

I'm just against marriage for any reason

I can see where you may find prollums dating all kinds of
people because of your situation, but then too, why would you even concider anyone who doesn't concider your kids.
You are free to intertain whomever you choose.

sag10 said:

I wonder, though, if not having a father figure around does a little damage...seems like I was rather unhinged until I got my stepfather.