My boss just sent me this for immediate implementation and I agree with it
so much I thought I would share.


Dear employees
>
> For all my friends with concerns for the deterioration of the
> language.
> It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals
> throughout the company have been using foul language during the
> course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints
> received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of
> language will be no longer been tolerated.
> We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to
>
> accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.
> Therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases has been provided so
> that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an
> effective "foul free" manner.
>
> 1) TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
> INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the fuck you're doing.
> 2) TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
> INSTEAD OF: She's a ball-busting bitch.
> 3) TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
> INSTEAD OF: And when the fuck do you expect me to do this?
> 4) TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
> INSTEAD OF: No fucking way.
> 5) TRY SAYING: Really?
> INSTEAD OF: You've got to be shitting me!
> 6) TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
> INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a shit.
> 7) TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
> INSTEAD OF: It's not my fucking problem.
> 8) TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
> INSTEAD OF: What the fuck?
> 9) TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
> INSTEAD OF: This shit won't work.
> 10) TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
> INSTEAD OF: Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?
> 11) TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
> INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his ass.
> 12) TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
> INSTEAD OF: Eat shit and die.
> 13) TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
> INSTEAD OF: Kiss my ass.
> 14) TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
> INSTEAD OF: Fuck it, I'm on salary.
> 15) TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
> INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your ass.
> 16) TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
> INSTEAD OF: This job sucks.
> 17) TRY SAYING: You want ME to take care of that?
> INSTEAD OF: Who the hell died and made you boss?
> 18) TRY SAYING: I see.
> INSTEAD OF: Blow me.
> 19) TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
> INSTEAD OF: He's a prick.
>
> Thank You,
> Human Resources