She knows I am there, and that I love her.

Current org romancer and long distance relationship veteran here.

Ok, so here's my bit: LDRs have unique challenges. The main one being that you have to figure out how to make it stop being an LDR eventually, and for most of us, picking up and moving is a Big Deal. I think it's really, really important to make sure that the other person is included in your life, even if it can't always be in person. I mean, yeah, find a frequent flyer plan that you like. But schedule dates and, if possible, activities that can be shared even while you are apart. Share music/movies/tv shows. . .crap like that. Mail random stuff to each other. . .holding a physical object that the other person held can be such an nice thing. I asked Matt for a bottle of his cologne, and on a 'sad about the LDR part of the relationship' day, I wear it to make me feel better. Try to keep up on the other person's schedule, and ask how their day went. Normal stuff. It helps to keep it from feeling like a pretend relationship.

If you think that your loved ones are the core of your life and happiness, those practical difficulties can be worked out. I think it's about priorities and communication, basically.

I hope your org romance turns out well, Chris. You deserve it.

stymie said:

the great thing is we have already come to an agreement that if nothing clicks, we will remain friends, which is nice, as i would hate to not have him around, in whatever context. would prefer it be friends and more, but if that ended up being it, it would still be satisfying.

Well, there's nothing wrong with pursuing a romance with someone you've met online. In today's crazy world, Internet contacts are usually the only way a lot of us can meet potential dating parents--unless you REALLY think bars and clubs are good spawning grounds.

But you gotta remember this: the Internet allows you to see only ONE SIDE of the person. In "real life" (so to speak) you'll be exposed to all their faults, imperfections and bodily functions.

So you have to have a large amount of objectivity to withstand an Internet romance.

As to 'Org romances,' let me say this. We're a pretty tight-knit community on here and everyone knows everyone else. If you date someone and it goes awray...prepare for some possible drama. I have lots of friends on here who can vouch for that.

I'd consider dating an Orger. But 'consider' is the key word there.

cborgman said:

This is so exciting, Chris. Does he know what a truly special man you are? You have excellent taste (I used your ECCO wine suggestion and it was a huge hit) so he must be pretty great too. You seem to have a realistic approach in taking things slowly and I love that you would want to remain friends if it doesn't work out as a relationship. I'll send huge good vibes to both of you.

purplek said:

congrats, purplek... herb rocks, so i am sure you do too... nice to meet you.

Uh-oh, here we go...

I'm off to work, everyone!

AnotherLoverToo said:

You can't run away from our love.

Some people have had great experiences, others have turned out to be disappointed. There are no guarantees--so, enter and be prepared for the absolute best or the worst, just as anything else.

More than anything else, I just recommend don't create a relationship in your head--do you know what I mean? Base everything upon what you are directly experiencing with that person, not what you wish or would like to happen. I've witnessed some people use an internet relationship to forget about how unhappy they are with their real life boyfriend or girlfriend, or their job, or other life situation, to create this false dreamworld of "what could be", rather than dealing with "what is".

BTW--anyone paying attention to the boards recently would know who cborgman's talking about! But I'm not spillin'!

bratchildsfriend said:

is that ECCO DOMANI? Yummy wine. Well, u got that going for u, Chris!

Well, there's nothing wrong with pursuing a romance with someone you've met online. In today's crazy world, Internet contacts are usually the only way a lot of us can meet potential dating parents--unless you REALLY think bars and clubs are good spawning grounds.

But you gotta remember this: the Internet allows you to see only ONE SIDE of the person. In "real life" (so to speak) you'll be exposed to all their faults, imperfections and bodily functions.

So you have to have a large amount of objectivity to withstand an Internet romance.

As to 'Org romances,' let me say this. We're a pretty tight-knit community on here and everyone knows everyone else. If you date someone and it goes awray...prepare for some possible drama. I have lots of friends on here who can vouch for that.

I'd consider dating an Orger. But 'consider' is the key word there.

cborgman said:

She does.

She does.

If not for the org, I still would've met her, but never would have FOUND her again.

Luck or fate?

Either way...I have the org to thank for it.

What I think is interesting is that you basically have to forget who the person is on the org for anything to work out, friendships or otherwise. After spending a considerable amount of time with the UK orgers, I have somewhat forgotten their org personas, which helps me loads.

Some people have had great experiences, others have turned out to be disappointed. There are no guarantees--so, enter and be prepared for the absolute best or the worst, just as anything else.

More than anything else, I just recommend don't create a relationship in your head--do you know what I mean? Base everything upon what you are directly experiencing with that person, not what you wish or would like to happen. I've witnessed some people use an internet relationship to forget about how unhappy they are with their real life boyfriend or girlfriend, or their job, or other life situation, to create this false dreamworld of "what could be", rather than dealing with "what is".

BTW--anyone paying attention to the boards recently would know who cborgman's talking about! But I'm not spillin'!

I know, he thinks he's all mysterious.

I very much agree with you about the "don't create a relationship in your head" part. At the very least, people need to get on the damn phone. I don't believe it's possible to get an accurate picture of somebody from email/IM.

Natsume said:

based on the time we have spent talking to one another and getting to know one another (1 month today ), i would venture to say that our communication on the phone is much stronger than our communication on the org. we met throught the org, but our friendship, and the possibility of a relationship in the future, has mostly been based on our communication outside of the org.

so, that shouldn't be too much of a problem.

awww... so sweet
herb, you amaze me... politically aware, smart, funny, and a romantic...

cborgman said:

...Dont mean 2 piss on Ur bonfire, but here when I say, U gotta meet them in the flesh. Just 2 see there face when they say things and their body language etc

Part of this is we don't want to rush it.

cborgman said:

A wise move.

JDINTERACTIVE said:

thank you. just wanna give it some time to breath and be good friends first, and maybe something will happen from there, maybe not.

cborgman said:

I hope it does 4 U.

we spend a good amount of time on the phone. so much so that i dread the phone bill coming...

BTW--anyone paying attention to the boards recently would know who cborgman's talking about! But I'm not spillin'!

AnotherLoverToo said:

yeah, no duh!

Yep, sensible, very sensible. I would also say U expose Ur faults, imperfections and bodily functions(?!) 2 them 2 though.