i know i know... 2 continue u'r BloodLine but we usually have brothers & sisters 4 that.

but 4 the Life of me i CANNOT figure out y have Children.

i know some WoMen feel they Need 2 have Children but 4 the life of me i don't see the point. i was raised 2 get Married & have a Family but with all the $$$ it costs & with all the "No, don't do that!" & how they'll defy u & break u'r heart & what not. unless my son somehow has a gift which we all do & he's able 2 capitalize on it & become some1 in life all i see is a sponge & heartache when i look at him & then look at my StepKids...

I would never want the burden myself.

wow!!! good topic...
well, my opinion is: yes, it is "harder" to have children "literally" and i can see the hesitancy in that, but my point is (other than the one some have on their heads) is why "have" them if YOU KNOW you cant "afford" them or keep them in reasonable housing or bring them up in a "healthy" environment, without the typical disfunctional problems we see today. having children is not casual...
but your question is "whats the point?":well, its actually a destination where traditionally two people (with the help of technology these days it could mean solo for some), like i was saying when two peeps love an admire each others personalities so much that they want the other to share and combine (their parents genes, grandparents, mothers, sisters, cousins, daddy's, genes)
an yes, "they" can serve as a distraction from dealing with your past life, but thats another story...
kids are cool IF you can "plan" for them,
and NO i dont have any, dont want any yet

ok...obviously there are two ways of looking at this...because...i cant imagine life without my babies..

all the things you get from them...

the hugs
the kisses
the i love you's
the mommy...youre the best's
the secrets late at night ...that only i get to hear...
watching them succeed at their dreams
knowing that i am the one that helped them get there...
passing along your lessons in life that you have learned...
the incredible love that comes only between a child and a parent...
unconditional love ...both giving and recieving...
children make the world a better place to be
they give you drive to do well in life...
they are the most important thing in a parents life...
you would lay down and die for them without even considering it...
the way they make you laugh ...
the special things between you ...that only you guys understand...

the list could go on and on...but most importantly...its because they are truely the most wonderful gift from God a person could ever recieve...and i am thankful for my babies every single day ...

I have to say I agree. Personally I don't much care for children, but they are cool if they are brought up properly and are well behaved. People shouldn't have them unless they are prepared for the responsibility!!! That means being able to afford the costs that having children require. Not to mention the patience to rear them.

ok... we could FOCUS on the POSITVE of the Topic & at the same time i look at myself & it saddens me becuz i'm Married with a 1yr old & 2 stepkids & i feel lost in the mix. sometimes i feel like i don't have my own identity & i'm just in The Matrix!

i still don't get kids. if i compare what i've done 2 my Mother, Father & StepFather & how people always say what comes around goes around well... i'm in TROUBLE... my son is going 2 take me thru HeLL!
[This message was edited Mon Sep 22 10:22:02 PDT 2003 by PurpleLove7]

Not too long ago, I was completely against the idea of having kids. My parents abused me and I grew with the notion that kids are basically there to boss around, do chores and beat the shit out of.

But I now want to get married and raise a family more than anything. Some things occured to me a couple of years ago.

1. Having kids is simply a natural part of life, like paying taxes, death and renting porn.

2. The fact that I was abused--and RECOGNIZE that I was abused--will ensure that I will NOT repeat the mistakes of my parents.

3. I'm going to be a FUN dad. I'll punish when I have to and my kids will know that I'm in charge, but you can be sure that I'm going to help them put frogs on Mommy's side of the bed.

4. I've discovered that I have a wonderful rapport with kids.

5. Kids are SMARTER than adults--they know how to enjoy life. GROWNUPS SUCK! I'm 27 and I STILL hate grownups.

man, lemme tell you something, i never EVER regret my son, and him being on this earth, for i know he is here for a reason, its the way the creator planned it for me and his mother. now i can sit here and play the "doting dad" and say my kid dont do this and my kid dont so that. truth of the matter is, i never had to tag his behind since day one,

but he's had his share of talking to's and know whatever hes planning on doing we are gonna be wayyy ahead of him, cus we did it before its all a cycle and relative. so the point of having is not basically to "carry the name" and all that. its planning an extension of you and your mate created with Love and respect.

PurpleLove7 said:

THIS is being positive ???

justkelley said:

no it's NOT Positive but at the same time like i said in the begining Thread i don't see the POINT 2 having children. mayb it's becuz i'm stingie or becuz i wasn't the Gr8test Son out there... i love my son becuz he's my son but i just know i'm gonna go thru "it" in the coming yearz...

PurpleLove7 said:

you go through it because its "life" man, u chose to be a father, your son wasnt asked to be here, wasnt his choice but the creator has something planned for him. hence why he is here.whatever he puts you through is what he puts u through its not a fucking Chore, its a life lesson and your job as a parent is to see that he dont make the same mistakes u made and help him learn, when he makes his own mistakes on his own path of learning and growing up.

not trying to be rude...and i understand what you are saying...however...

next time you look at him...try thinking about how important you are to him...and how much he depends on you for his very existence...then repeat unconditional love and respect as many times as it takes to sink in...

the mind can only think one thought at a time..and it seems as if you may be feeding into the negative a lot...

just a thought...

happy fathering

Finess said:

This is pretty much what I was gonna say. I am a bit confused because you chose to have a son and then you chose to be with someone who had children of her own.

I don't feel that I ever want to have children, there is no point in putting them in this world, there are already too many unloved children in the world. If I ever change my mind though, I will adopt. Parenthood and family isn't in the blood, it's in the love.

For DudeDrops, I hear that cos I had that shit too growing up

i married my wife becuz she loves me. & i thought she'd make a gr8 mom & wife.

she literally loves me 4 me & she xcepts me 4 me. & the fact that i'm an EggHead & thought or think that i could make a difference in her life with her kids & all.

i always TRY 2 prove people wrong. i like 2 say i'm the type of man who "knows" we make the things that happen (thur the help of The One).

she Love Prince as much as i do was another reason i married my wife & she'll follow me where ever i go.
[This message was edited Mon Sep 22 11:10:30 PDT 2003 by PurpleLove7]

Abstain from sex

DudeDrops said:

i have noticed tat those of us that suffered abuse, tend to want kids of our own... god knows i do.

Finess said:

PurpleLove7 said:

we aint talkin about Prince, we are talking about your Innocent child,with whom in your own words called " a sponge and u see no point of him being here or any child for that matter".. as a father of a beautiful 9 year old boy i am totally offended in the manor of how u describe your son.this isnt about anything else, your wife, you her kids, nor prince but about "your child"... this'll be my last comment on this thread because im actually getting heated by it.

Finess said:

my thoughts exactly! if you think in the sense of 'havin kids makes no sense' or what-not, you shouldnt've had any kids of your own. don't make a whole lotta sense in what you're sayin, purplelove...

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

Go Deja...

I will say that I do respect this guys honesty.

How many men have children not because it's what they want but because it's what their girlfriend/wife wants? If both people aren't ready or willing, it's quite selfish for a woman to choose to have kids with someone who isn't on the same page as they are.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Or, it's irresponsible and cowardly of a man to say that he wants children, and for a woman to be under that pretense, when he really doesn't want them.
It goes both ways...a woman can't make a baby by herself.

applekisses said:

Hon, I agree

I'm just addressing a different angle is all.

At the end of the day, women have control over their body and make the choice on whether or not to have a child. I've seen many instances where women have children despite the pleadings by their men that they don't want to be parents... That is selfish.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

(You are so funny, hon )

Yes, you're totally right...those women are selfish (like the ones that stop taking their b/c pills without telling their guys)...I think it comes down to both people having the guts to be honest about their needs/wants and having the courage to end the relationship if both don't want the same thing.

applekisses said:

That's the truth

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Thanks I love it when we agree!

OK, this is best way I have ever heard of to find out if your girlfriend is trying to impregnate herself...

I was listening to a radio show and the subject was women who deliberately try to get pregnant knowing their boyfriends don't want a child. Callers had the usual stories, "forgetting" to take the pill, poking holes in condoms and one caller said that he had discarded his used condom in the bathroom wastebasket and later caught his girlfriend stuffing the condom back inside her so she could get pregnant!!

Another caller called in to suggest the foolproof way to find out if your girlfriend was doing the "stuff the condom back inside" trick. Keep a bottle of tobasco under the sink and sprinkle some in the condom before throwing it away. If you hear screams from the bathroom, you know her twats on fire

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

These women are crazy!

OMG...ewww...
[This message was edited Mon Sep 22 12:30:24 PDT 2003 by applekisses]

I just want to point out that our culture doesn't allow people to have difficult feelings about having kids once they have already had them. When people realize, after it's "too late", that having kids is harder than they thought, or maybe not what they wish they had done, or whatever, they can't go anywhere for support. They are demonized. I think that sucks, and it's certainly not good for the kids.

Clearly, dedicating a lot of your life to raising another human being is a huge, demanding, difficult thing. Something I won't be doing, personally, as I feel I can have the sort of family that I want for myself without breeding.