Ok, here's the deal. A year ago, I went through what I would consider the worst period of my life - something that has only recently rectified itself in light of recent events that have made me stronger and a damn sight more resiliant 2 bullshit than I ever thought.
I digress, around this time last year, I landed a job that I absolutely love - working in a music store.

The interview was a breeze (somewhat refreshingly so) and Ive only had one day off ill in a year (so the fact Im not pulling sickies left right and center says a lot I guess if nothing else). It's the first job Ive ever had that not only do I love and enjoy - but have a passion 4. Not only is my boss great, but I actually enjoy going in2 work 2 - So they're all definate pluses.

Somehow, Ive seeimingly risen rapidly through the ranks, and about three months ago got promoted 2 what is pretty much an assistant managerial role.

My duties have of course changed 2 some degree, and that's fine - it took some adjusting, but I took it on board, and now Im handling thousands upon thousands of pounds a day, and responsible 4 the store when the Boss isnt there.

The problem lies in the fact that some of the team (who I get on well with most of the time) seem 2 look upon me as a bit of a joke at times.

Basically, my self-esteem is taking a knocking when the opposite should be happening, I have no faith in my abilities, I feel undervalued and somewhat used, stressed-out 2 phuck, and told my Boss 2day that I'd had enough and wasn't enjoying my job anymore.

He said we'd talk next week (when Im due 4 my 12 month appraisal) and Im sure this time next week, he'll have yet again convinced me 2 stick with it (this isn't the first time - but last time I took on board what he said, adapted and put it down 2 my having 2 go though an adjustment period etc)

So...basically...what do u guys think?

U think I'll be doing myself any favours by de-moting myself? or do u think it would be a step in the wrong direction?

I have 2 admit, I feel in some ways like Im admitting defeat - but what matters more here? Job satisfaction and a stress-free working environment, or more money and pulling my hair out and feeling depressed every morning at having 2 go in2 work?

Any constructive advice is welcomed...

*nuthin a good stiff drink wont cure 2nite Edit*
[This message was edited Sat Sep 13 10:58:16 PDT 2003 by bananacologne]

Is your biggest problem the attitude of your co-workers? If you were treated with more respect, would you be happy again? Why do you think they look at you as "a bit of a joke"?

jealousy of co-workers can be a bitch. don't demote yourself. time will prove you to be the person you are, and respect will be given to you.

AnotherLoverToo said:

Yes,

Yes,

and have no idea.

At 1st I thought I was imagining it.
Then I thought it was me.
Now, I have no idea.

Like CBorg said - maybe jealousy, maybe because they know me as part of their team, and can't quite grasp the fact that occasionaly I have 2 pull rank (as I get the impression they think they can chill and take it easy when the Boss aint around... I really dont know. Unsure on that one...

I dunno - maybe a bad day...but somehow I doubt it. It's been brewing 4 some time.
Thanx Chris - noted

Are you having difficulty doing the job at hand? If you aren't then maybe you should ask yourself whether you're the one giving yourself the hardest time? You need some self-assurance, to make yourself realise the truth that you're able and worthy of all these responsibilities. Similarly with your colleagues tell yourself they just don't cut it.

sabaisabai said:

Thanx, nope - no problems with the actual job, that's all sweet.

It's just the whole issue of how they percieve me, and that they (some intentionally, some not) make things that much harder and stressful, when everything (by now) should be smooth as JBInteractive's waxed ass...

It's an attitude thing.
Or maybe that should read: 'aptitude'???

bananacologne said:

My guess is that they used to view you as a "peer", but now that you've become a "company guy", it's hard for them to treat you with the respect that is supposed to come with the position. I assume you've already tried speaking to the individuals about it directly...if not, you must do it. Otherwise, the only solution I can think of would be for the manager to cut the hours of--or fire--those who won't be respectful and bring in new people who already view you as a "boss".

Ideally, you wouldn't care and would let it all bounce off of you and eventually things would improve. But it sounds like that isn't happening....
[This message was edited Sat Sep 13 11:21:01 PDT 2003 by AnotherLoverToo]

bananacologne said[b]Thanx, nope - no problems with the actual job, that's all sweet.

It's just the whole issue of how they percieve me, [/quote]
I guess then that you should try to be thick-skinned for a while. Remember that the best way to "win" with idiots is to give nothing back, to not react or sink to their level. Eventually they'll either improve their attitudes or self-destruct and lose their jobs.

sabaisabai said:

Yeah - have tried many different things. But Ive got 2 that stage now. Now I just shut up and go REAL quiet. It's a protective thing 4 me so I dont lose it, but also a little detrimental, as it doesnt make me look 2 good with the role I currently have.

I guess I'll hang in ther 4 now, I have been thinking of what effect it may have if I do indeed demote myself - I mean, will this screw my chances 4 good after this?

Will I be bricking up my promotion avenue 4 good if I do this?

Im guessing that It will.

Also - THE main thing that has been concerning me about this descision is:

Will that grass be greeer back on the other side after all that???

*a little space would be nice Edit*
[This message was edited Sat Sep 13 11:29:10 PDT 2003 by bananacologne]

I don't think the grass will be greener if you demote yourself. The people that you're having trouble with could run with it.

How well do you get on with your boss? How about being really straightforward with him and see what advice he'll give you or whether he'll help?

What's the staff turnover rate for the less senior employees? If it's high then it's only a matter of time before most of them will be gone.

Anyway, I think you should just perservere. Treat yourself with the respect you deserve and watch the naysayers fall to the wayside.

sabaisabai said:

Good point.




REAL good. Surprisingly good in fact. Maybe I'll mention what u said above - definately a valid point.




Mixed. Th one major thorn in my side is leaving real soon thank God - He's an arrogant, egotistical little phuck.* Ironically, most of the team are all really tight, but there's some days where I just find myself thinking is this really worth that extra (x amount) an hour...4 this?



Thanx, it's just real hard sometimes, and when it gets on top of me I just wonder - am I really cut out 4 the position? Then again, I wouldn't have it if my Boss didnt have any faith in me...

Catch-22!


*God, that felt SO good! Edit*
[This message was edited Sat Sep 13 11:58:05 PDT 2003 by bananacologne]

K, everthing I had to say about this situation has been posted (we've got some smart people in this joint!) so I'll just give you this...

When you become a manager, you need to let go of any desire to be liked. It's not in the job description.

Look at Ian the moderator! :LOL:

in your managerial duties, stay focused on the business, not your co-workers...if they disrespect you, pull them into line... things will be different in a matter of weeks if you can be consistent... DON"T demote yourself... fuck that... if you focus on the business, it takes the personalities out of the equation...there will ALWAYS be someone trying to mess with you... deal with them and move on...part of management is handling staff... it's just as important as your other duties... your justification is that YOU"RE DOING YOUR JOB... good luck with it

Thanx guys.

teller said:

Teller is right about this ~ it takes time to rebuild valuable friendships and respect for your new position.
Look at the trials every new teacher faces at the beginning
of the year ~ people sometimes just feel the need to push
all the boundaries. It sucks because you are in that awkward middle area and anythnig you do can be construed
as pushing your authority around. You have a fantastic sense of humour and this can be very advantageous in your situation. You are also a compassionate and fair person
and if you apply this fairly and consistantly others will
develop trust in your ability. When there is someone creating a problem, I would suggest dealing with it quickly
according to the store's policy, and then don't discuss it
with anyone but your boss. People will try to get you to take sides or let them slide and in the end it is you who
will look bad. MrBliss is right also ~ stay focused on the job and set a good example with humour when it's right and
the rest will follow. I don't think you should demote yourself ~ for the reasons other posters listed as well as your own self ~esteem ~ YOU EARNED THIS PROMOTION ~ you were chosen to do the job because the boss saw leadership and other qualities in you and the people there who are worth your time will appreciate these in you also. All the best to you on this!

U have 2 stamp Ur authority down. Not being funny, but look at some1 like Alex Ferguson at Manchester United. He isnt a pleasant person but he is what makes a good manager and look how succesful they R. Compare him 2 some1 like David Brent in The Office...some1 who has no respect at all and is more interested in being liked than being a good boss.

Im probably talking a load of shite here I guess and I know its not nice when people think Ur a joke or whatever. But if Ur firm with them and show them some respect than they would respect that in turn.

Nobody wants a wet drip 4 a boss.

It can be very difficult moving up in the same store.
Is the record store you work in one of the large chains?
Because they prefer staff to move stores when they progress
for this very reason. In fact you'll probably find that to
progress any further, you'll have to move around a lot.

Keep in mind that if you demoted yourself and went back "into the ranks" nothing would change, as others have said. Also, if someone else were promoted, they would be treated the same way by your peers, and might respond as being a total power trip...keep in your position. Its rare to have a boss that you get along with so well, and after a while your co-workers will see if your style is consistent and fair; then they will come around..as others have also said, if they don't..they can go. Be proud that you have been chosen! You seem very humble about this, and people will see that humble attitude as genuine. Then they will appreciate it. Congrats on the promotion!!!

Had my 1st year appraisal with my Boss 2day, and we chatted things through thoroughly, and got in2 the meat and bones of it all. Now have more clearly defined role, more is being allocated fairly across all those in a senior role in store.

We chatted 4 a good 2 hours - so it was nice 2 know that He was/is prepared 2 back me up and sit and give me that amount of time 4 us 2 work through all the various issues.

He asked me what my decision was regarding my role, and whether I wanted 2 step down or not - but no pressure. He said that if I did, that he certainly would not look upon it as having a detrimental effect on obtaining that role again - that it would simply be put 'on hold'.

I've spent the last week or so considering all the avenues, possibilities and repricussions of whatever decision I would make, and know I have done the right thing.

Basically, came away knowing that I've some work 2 do in improving things, but also that there is a clear line of communication there now...

Thanx 4 all your advice guys: it really helped getting some outside perspectives.

someone must have faith in you, don't beat yourself up! If they are compensating the new role adequately, hold on to it, the postion and experience would be worth it for you. Give it all you have first, when your defeated then you know.

bananacologne said:

Nice bloke is he?!

JDINTERACTIVE said:

Not as nice as u...

Good luck Banana ... I'm glad your meeting went well and that you've been given the support you need from your boss. I was in a very similar position a while back so can appreciate how tough it was for you to reach a final decision.