Ok, im not too keen on online hookups, but i recently met this guy in an online gameroom. Not on purpose, of course, but i happened to be online one night playin and he im'ed me. So we decided to play a few games of checkers. In the midst of it, we began to chat with each other and become really chummy. Come to find out that we have a lot in common, but we're still two very different people. He lives in the south, and I live up here in Chi. Mind you that was two weeks ago to this day, and last week he admitted to having feelings for me! I told him the truth all along that i was not interested in that kind of thing some time ago, but now, i think i'm fallin for him!! But i also feel like crap, because we had a bit of a disagreement yesterday and i dont think that he likes my ass anymore! Though on the other hand, its kinda a relief, cause i'm not into hookin up with someone I've never seen before!!! But its drivin me nuts!!! Oh God, what to do???

Well I'm no expert on internet relationships. But I'd say the sooner you take it to the "real world" the sooner you'll have an idea whether it is really worth pursuing, or whether it is just convenient fantasy. It's easy to fit an anonymous username into any preconceived notions you may have...

So, chat on the phone, swap photos, find out more about each other, and see if you (a) are not repulsed by each other's appearance and (b) if you actually get along in real life.

Also be aware that 99% of people on internet chatrooms are either (a) fat sweaty guys called Bubba or (b) FBI agents looking for hot paedo action. So, be careful and don't give away too much info until you have a better feel for the person.

I'd shag him!

mcmeekle said:

way to state the obvious!

Forget him. Move on, and find someone in real life. Someone you can grow with, someone who you are involved with on a daily basis.

You can find out about his lies right away, instead of later..

'What you wont do, do for love... You've tried everything, but you won't give up...'

deMatthijs said:

I hate to admit it, but I once dated a guy on the internet.It was through an on-line dating service. I made sure that everone that I replied to lived close so that if we got along via the internet, we could actually DATE in real life and see if we got along in person. One guy worked out really well. We dated for over two years. So it is possible. And No IAN, I am not fat or sweaty. I am just very busy and a bit of an introvert. I don't like the club/bar scene. I was bored...etc. I'm just saying it IS possible. My advice is to make sure that its' someone close to home that you can actually spend substantial time with.

Dont waste your time.

just be careful...most times its a bad way to meet someone...

but who knows...you may be one of the lucky ones...i guess just be smart...and follow your gut

i'll be crossing my fingers for ya

meet in a neutral place, see how you feel.

mcmeekle said:

Post a pic!

sag10 said:

Wow that was cold, where's my jacket?

Sweeny79 said:

ain't cold at all...mama sag is right.

Ok, so I may not be the best person to speak on the pros and cons of starting a relationship online...but if it's only been 2 weeks and there's that much physical distance between you both and you've already gotten into a "disagreement" with him...then I'd say nip it in the bud and go no further than being internet friends. Real, loving, sincere and successful relationships can have their origins anywhere and anyplace...even the internet...it all depends on the people involved and how real/sincere they are in their hearts about what they express and what they feel. But as others here have said, you need to at least be within driving distance of each other for it to succeed. Nothing--nothing--takes the place of spending time in each other's physical presence...it answers sooo many unasked questions. If you're able to have that shared "space" pretty much at will, then it helps tremendously.

And as Sag mentioned, people in "real" life can keep things from you just as easily as someone online...yet they do eventually come to light one way or another, believe me......but if you're within somewhat close proximity of each other, then you will definitely experience everything you should experience of this person sooner, rather than later. Plus, you'll have the invaluable experience of feeling if your connection is constantly felt between you, or if it's up and down, on and off, from one shared moment to the next. Only thru constant time spent together will you know if it's real...and trust me, you will know.

Bottom line: It's too soon, you're way too far away, and you've already gotten into a disagreement--one in which he chose to "walk away" (so to speak) instead of deal with whatever's bothering him...I'd say don't take it any further.

Be extremely careful

Thanks, guys.