When is the right time to start letting go of your children?
I look back at my life and the many times i shouldn't have made it and i become overprotective. My children are getting older and i know they need to develope the skills to make it on their own. When do you think you should start to step back and let them do their own thing?

It's an ongoing process that starts very young. Maybe they're totally autonomous around 25-30.

i agree with teller...while we are raising them...we are preparing them for that day when they will stand on their own. its most sad to think that one day my babies will leave the nest and go out into the real world...but that day will come without fail.

first i taught them how to stand on their own...and then i taught them to walk...everything else they know ...

and now someday...

my babies will fly


being a parent is the most rewarding job a person could ever have i think

justkelley said:

Let me clarify. I am talking about letting them become adults. When do you let them hang out, go out alone with their friends, etc? It's the last stage that is the hardest to deal with. I did the early stages with ease.

There's no exact age. It is different for each child. You have to observe them. How mature are they? If the doorbell rings, do they automatically open it, or do they find out who it is first? That kind of thing.

It's hard to explain and it is definately an ongoing process.

The key is to communicate w/ them. Let then know how you want them to behave...ie..no smoking, no drugs (If that is how you feel of course) etc. Give them the tools to function away from you...ie..can they handle money on their own, do they know enough to call you if their gut's telling them they are in a sticky situation? etc.

The stakes are just as high when they are 3 and 15 years old.

In the end though, they are gonna do what they want. You can give them the tools, but it is up to them to use them.

Be there for them. Talk to them. Love them. Pray for them. (Again, if you're so inclined.)

Hang in there!

Nothinbutjoy said:

I agree 100%!! I feel that with my children I will know
when they are ready to hang out and such alone. If the
trust is there and they possess the smarts and knowledge
they need to be out there alone then thats when I will start
letting go a little more. If by some chance they turn 18 and
I still dont feel I can let em go... they are out on their
own anyway! Just a joke...

Nothinbutjoy said:

Agreed, there is no exact age. My children are mature and make good decisions(ones an honor student and the other is not that far behind). It's just seeing the madness go on around you everyday you hate to see them harmed. They don't have the experience to deal with what goes on out there. The manipulation. The people who will use them, lie to them, do anything to them for their personal gain. They have so much to offer i hate to see them get screwed and shut down.

Agreed honey! I know EXACTLY how you feel. All you can do is show them what you know and tell them what you've experienced.

Unfortunately, everyone spends a little time in the School of Hard Knocks. Some things they will have to learn on their own.

I bet though, considering your guidance and strength, they will get through with minimal scathing.