when they know they can be found out?

Any ideas?

To feel important and get attention?

I don't think they know they can be found out.

I think a few people actually start believing their own lies, too...that's when it's gotten to the mental illness stage.

AnotherLoverToo said:

Esteem comes into play. They don't like the person they are so they make up someone they would like to be.
Most are deceptive at least when it comes to describing themselves.







Izzay Kizzay edit
[This message was edited Sun Sep 7 16:21:13 PDT 2003 by CtheUncanny]

AnotherLoverToo said:

Your reputation preceeds you, AnotherLoverToo. Good call.


But is it really that simple? Is attention that much of a demand for some folks? Surely it has to run deeper. Just a thought.

Wow, you guys are good.

pejman said:

Ok, but even when they KNOW things will and can be checked out, why still lie? Do they rely on the kindness or stupidity of others to keep quiet?

32Flavors said:

That's a good topic, my experience is that you always get caught out in a lie. And often the original lie evolves into something else and you lose track of the lies.

Thus it is best to be honest, even if it means getting into trouble.

Wish George Bush would follow that advice.

AnotherLoverToo said:

We can't discuss attention here.

32Flavors said:

key word STUPIDITY!!! they think they're smarter than the rest yet their stupidity is transparent...

CtheUncanny said:

Are you describing yourself?

I lie like a persian rug.

32Flavors said:

Sounds like you've already got an answer in mind, 32Flavors.

Of course, it's deeper--most likely, when it's gotten to the pathological point, it's about disassociation. Needing to go somewhere else in one's mind because reality is too painful. People who've been severely abused in childhood tend to disassociate as adults as well. They learned it as a defense mechanism to get them through the pain of the moment. Pathological liars are able to believe their own lies because they experience it as being true...

liberation said:

If you think so :LOL: I don't think i have never built myself up in anyway, nor have i avoided the truth when brought to me. This is still just a message board that i have fun with, trust me I LOVE ME!! No deception needed.


? edit
[This message was edited Sun Sep 7 16:32:13 PDT 2003 by CtheUncanny]

liberation said:

This is a

pejman said:

I know and I find this rather odd. For someone to be so entrenched in their own lies that they lose sight and feel of the truth around them. The funny thing is that I am sure they would be accepted on their own terms if they just dropped the bullshit. It is ok to be who and what you are at any given time. Self love is empowering.

AnotherLoverToo said:

Naw, it's a honest question. I don't think i know lib that well and i have never had words with this person.

Ok I am going to retract what I said as it is far to general a sweeping statment! Again however, right or wrong I most often can't be bothered with a liar. Even if I love and care something is damaged between us and likely ultimatly no resolution will come of it. I will always have this thing between us. The energy is more then I choose to spend. I simply avoid their path. I have one cousin I love more then life itself. I keep her at arms length knowing lies flow from her. I still love her most deeply but keep myself from her path so as not to be stained by her.
[This message was edited Sun Sep 7 16:53:32 PDT 2003 by Muse2NOPharaoh]

AnotherLoverToo said:

Deep...we'll hold on to you.

AnotherLoverToo said:

Not at all, it's not intended as a flame, the original post was about why people lie. But has evolved into something apparently much deeper.

I find the replies interesting, it is about lying and why people do it, some of these response could be from a personal perspective.

Conscious or not, replies can say more about the person respnding then the actual question, thus i was not flaming at all...but just curious as to some of the responses.

AnotherLoverToo said:

Ah, you are too cool. Yes, and the ability to lie well comes with practice. Year after year, drama after drama, the pattern is engrained deeply. And very easy to track and predict by others.

I often wonder if the person thinks they are not hurting others when what they need to do is look closely and see how much they are hurting themselves.

Well it all seems a bit much 2 me. What if U lie about spilling a drink on the carpet 2 Ur folks, which I know Ive done personally! But Ive got no reason 2 believe Im a bad person! ehehe!

liberation said:

Ok, based on yours and theC's answers, I can see how this was meant now and I apologize. I've gotten too used to seeing C take the heat!

Well this I do wonder about... and my beliefs are many. Not only are they beliefs, but factual truths to why some people I know (personally) have lied.

I am just leaving work... so I will try and keep this short but sweet as possible.

32 Flavors... the demeanor that consists within a lie as well as within a person... is not simple. Some reasons I have known to exist are...

~based on fear (big one I feel) which inevitably spirals into compulsion (one lie leading to a million others)... intil one day... the truth surfaces. All lies (I believe) come forth in one way or another, how a person can live under such pressure and constant/draining effort is beyond me.

~compulsion... yes, a sense of illness... a habit that one can not control.

~to cover-up low/poor self confidence/esteem (lack of loving/acceptance of oneself).

~jealousy/hate and anger.

... there are many more... although, in my belief/heart... lies are not simple, they are intricate/damaging and cause damaging lifelong scars.

This topic is the one issue that I cannot tolerate within my life... and to be 100 % honest... I have only lied but once and it was partial, but the effect on me... did damage a small part of my soul... and a huge part of my spiritual existence. We all learn... I did and now I am regaining my peace.



[This message was edited Sun Sep 7 16:40:04 PDT 2003 by Freespirit]
[This message was edited Sun Sep 7 16:41:26 PDT 2003 by Freespirit]

crazyhorse said:

We are speaking on general principle here. No need to confine or speculate. I have just found myself in a position of uncovering some lies that a certain individual should have known would be found out. I was just curious as to the response around here.

CtheUncanny said:

Gotcha--like I just said to liberation, I think I'm too used to seeing you get poked and prodded round here!

crazyhorse said:

First class point, are we actually discussing real life situations, or some facade of how people act online?
That's why some of the responses interested me...it could be that they are projecting why they lie online rather then in real life.