Has anyone of you written to Jimmy Saville
asking him to "FIX IT" for you?

If you could write to him now and ask him to FIX IT for you, what would you ask, today?



Here are some letters I found in his post bag that he has not replied to yet..

Dear Jim I get up in the morning and have sex with my wife, when I get to work my secretary gives me a blow job, and then at coffee I have the receptionist doggie style over the photocopier. In the afternoon the tea lady gives me a blow job then I go home and give the wife another rodding. Please can you fix it Jim so it doesnt hurt when I have a wank in the shower before I go to bed. Thanks, Micheal, from Belgium, aged 26


Fix me up Jim jim, i cant stand the sight of gobby old pensioners could you just shoot them, or place them in vats of dildos please. Ace Jones, Stroud, aged 60

Dear "jimmy jim jim me lad" saville I really want to be an astronaut but have no legs or arms. seeing as i would need to pilot the shuttle i was wondering if you could turn me into some kind of jesus zombie so i can make myself arms and legs out of naan bread. i want to be on the moon
too old for you baby. Cheers, Alex Walker, from Winstone, Aged 32

Dear Jim, I WANT TO BE A PLAYBOY BUNNY. I am fat and ugly and I know i\'d be great. My cellulite is spiralling outta control and i successfully eating myself into obesity. Please let the world see me and my beautiful body... I am ginger.
Catty Filou, from hull 36



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Dear Jim, Many years ago I wrote to you asking if I could meet Donny Osmond, he was the most gorgeous man in the world to me. It was my dream to meet Donny face to face and in my mind, without a doubt, he would have fallen in love with me and whisked me off to a life of fame and holding hands. The fact that I was only 8 years old wouldn't have mattered of course. Well, you didn't fix it for me and now I don't want him anymore. I would now like you to fix it for me to meet George Clooney, there'd be no holding hands this time though! I'd want to sit on his face and enjoy his tongue till I reached orgasm, oil up my tits and give him a tit wank with my ample breasts, then tie him up and sexually abuse him till he can take no more. Please please please fix it for me this time Jim, for Georges sake and mine. Many thanks, Lorraine
l orraine from Essex, aged 36



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Dear Jim

You say that this site is for comedy purposes only? Are you saying that all the situations written about here are completly fictious and for comedy purposes only? You dissapointed me. I was about to ask you to fix something for me (with George Clooney also, not his tongue as the other pervert woman wrote, but with his scrotum, i.e., with the pouch of skin enclosing the testicles in most male mammals - George Clooney is a male mammals, ins't him?) But why do I need a fictious meeting with George Clooney? I speak some Italian and I've fucked more Italian than anybody else out of Italy.Is somebody out there to fix George for me ?No, not George Bush, your animal, fix George Clooney in a bush for me.
thanks,

Regia, a Latin, bella latin, aged 28,38, Brazil in UK




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Rene Menzel
Oxford
Dear Jim, Could you fix it for me to have a helmet made of chesse! love Renzel

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Dear Jim, Please could you fix it for me to appear on tv with Rolph Harris singing Tie Me kangaroo down sport! I used to live in Australia and can do a wicked Australian accent! I would be a dream come true!! Thanx, Kenny Sime aged, 22yrs from Milton roundabout Keynes


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Dear Jim After fixin' it for michael to have Elvis return from the dead please could you fix it for me to have him returned to his previous non alive state, as he keeps hanging around my house eating all my cheeseburgers! If this is not possible please could you send me some corpse deodorant spray as he is starting to smell a little.
Cheers,

mark.harrison, aged 30, sheffield



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Dear Jimmell, Could you please fix it for me to become one with my nice gran. I dearly love her and would like her hand in marriage please. She cooks me gingerbread furbys and liquid salt-peters. The police-people say no to this, but I know you'll understand Jimmy.

Thanks you.
Cresley Bwanna, aged 70 from Moss Side



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dear jim please may you fix it so my boyfriend can watch dwarf porn for a living as he has fantasies about naked dwarffs in shell suites ?

thanku
lisa big boobs, aged 19 1/2 peterborough



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Dear Jim, could you please fix it for me to appear in an all new version hit 1980's comedy smash Duty Free, as a hapless holiday tourist apparently permanently trapped in the Costa del Sol. p.s. could Natalie Imbruglia please play the part of the lass with grey hair.

Yours sincerely Eduard Soave Jackson, aged, 25 from Sunderland


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Dear Jim
I wish for Four cheeseburgers and world peace please, Jim. PS. Better make 'em quorn, just in case the yoghurt weavers turn up... How's about that then?
torus, aged 26

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Dear jim Could you please fix it for me to get my ball back as i lost it in the sea and cant get it back?
Mr F. B. Slim, aged 36, Hove

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I did write 2 Jim when I was younger but 2 no success. Im not gonna say what I want fixed 4 me now.

JDINTERACTIVE said:

Why not??


Promise I wont tell anyone...


Just type it quietly...

ANSWER ME Dammit JD!!!

REDFEATHERS said:

Nope! Wanna know what I wrote 2 Jim 4 when I was younger though?!

JDINTERACTIVE said:

Yes, thats what I would like...you tease.

REDFEATHERS said:

I had 2 write a letter 2 Jim in junior school. I wanted 2 be in a Charlie Chaplin film. How extremely weird of me.

JDINTERACTIVE said:

I was always more of a Harold Lloyd fan

JDINTERACTIVE said:

Awww That is soo cute

And what was the other letter you wrote him when you were 20?

REDFEATHERS said:

Can U get me a shag.