Do you think it's really important 2 have a father figure in a young man's life, do you think it really makes a difference if he was strickely raised by a signle mother, rather then living in a 2 parent home?

My sister had a child at a young age and when she gave birth, she had a little boy. The man who helped her concieve a child, basically ran out on her when she annouced she was pregnant, but when she finally had the baby and learned it was going 2 be a boy, she decided to give her child up 2 the father, because she believe only a man can rais a young boy 2 be a man...

I've thought about this 4 a long time,
I know 4 a fact I want kids some day, but I was like
I don't want 2 house full of girls, I want a house full boyz, but If I do get a divorce from my husband, would I be able 2 raise my sons on my own and raise them 2 be a men who will contribute their piece 2 soceity

So I guess the question is,
Can a woman raise a boy 2 be a man
And how important is it really 2 have a father figure in a boy's life?

So I guess the question is,
Can a woman raise a boy 2 be a man? YES

And how important is it really 2 have a father figure in a boy's life? Important. But not necessary. Does that make sense?

it's extremely important to have a father figure in your life, no matter if you're a girl or a boy. my father raised me by himself after my mom passed away, and i turned out just fine.

First of all, unless you adopt, you get what you get, right? You can't just decide to have all boys or all girls. Sorry! Secondly, I hope you don't go into a marriage assuming you will get divorced--bad attitude to have--or that you have babies by yourself to just "have" them. You don't have to do what your sister did. Thirdly, why are you assuming that the father of your kids wouldn't be a part of his son's life, even if there is a divorce? Most dads stick around these days. If a boy's father sees him often enough, the father figure is there, whether they live together or not.

Of course, it's important for a boy and a girl to have access to their father. Preferably within the same house, but otherwise at least on a regular basis.

AnotherLoverToo said:

When I look at a picture
I try 2 look at the whole situation
I like 2 get in2 all details before making a finale decission
WHen you get married there's a 50/50 chance y'alls stay together and a 50/50 chance y'all won't

that's why I guess I always asked what if. I might get pregnant and have a child before I'm married and
way before I was ready, most likely I'm the one who's going 2 have 2 take care of the child

I believe a woman can raise children own her own
Without a father present, yet I still believe it is important 2 have a father figure in a child life just 2 have that balance...

DigitalLisa said:

If you use birth control correctly and everytime you have sex, the chances of getting pregnant are pretty slim. Take charge of your life and your body, and don't get married or pregnant before you're absolutely ready!

AnotherLoverToo said:

Thanks 4 the advice

not having sex is the only 100% method from not having unwanted pregnancies or std's ...
[This message was edited Sun Aug 24 19:59:03 PDT 2003 by DigitalLisa]

DigitalLisa said:

Well, of course not having sex is the only sure way not to get pregnant! But when you say you "might get pregnant and have a child before I'm married", I'm assuming you might be having sex (or were you going to try for the Immaculate Conception? ). So I'm saying, some women act like pregnancy is beyond their control, like it just automatically happens whenever you have sex...

AnotherLoverToo said:

true ... as of now I'm "Celibate" So I ain't gotz 2 worry, Cuz I ain't planning on having nobody's kid, I'm still a kid myself gotta lot of growing up 2 do
[This message was edited Sun Aug 24 20:06:32 PDT 2003 by DigitalLisa]

DigitalLisa said:

I was just discussing this very topic with a doctor friend of mine who is also a teaching professor at UW hospital in Madison, Wi. She says that kids do just fine ( 4 the most part ) being raised by JUST the mother, IF there is no father in the picture. Help is definately of benefit from the closest members of the family like grandmothers, aunts, uncles, siblings etc...but in HER vast experience, she claims most kids do ok, as long as the mother is stable and the child has a loving, nurturing environment. It is of course better 4 the child 2 have a 2 parent home, only IF the atmosphere is a mostly healthy one, & we ALL know kids with 2 parents who live in "hell". This is of course the most common, with the mother as single parent that is, but the fathers sometimes R the only ones doing the raising of the kids, and some do a great job as well.

It is very important, I think.
If it can not the biologic father, so I believe, the child will choice for himself.

A boy needs a masculine figure in his life--one that can relate to the boy's aggressiveness, to help develop it into something positive. Gangs and other trouble can lure a boy away for the sole reason that they offer MALE bonding, which every boy/man needs in order to live. A family without a father is a tragedy...

My blood father died before I was born so my mother gave me up for adoption. My adoptive father took a hike when I was 11 and my adoptive mother's second husband (my stepdad) took an instant dislike to me and we've never really got along. So I can't really say as I've never had a decent father figure. And how did I turn out? Kinda like this...

Cloudbuster said:

Did you look for a fantasy father?

I wonder if anyone's done a study on gay men--how many of them didn't have a father figure...?

Arle said:

No, but I have a few very good male friends which compensate.

d edit.
[This message was edited Mon Aug 25 5:36:05 PDT 2003 by Cloudbuster]

teller said:

Cloudbuster said:

Don't know if there's anything to it, just wondered...

teller said:

It's cool. I'm curious myself. I was just wondering if it was directed at me 'cos I'm not actually gay.