How do u turn down a guy without hurting his feelings 2 bad?
Just a couple of weeks ago I meant this guy who act likes he totally in2 me, he's nice guy and everything, but truthfully he's 2 old and he's definitely not my type, I think he just wants me 4 sex anyway, yet I can't find a way 2 turn him down... what makes things really bad is the fact he buys me things, I keep telling him, he really doesn't 2 do that, but yet he insist... and he talks 2 my mom all about me all the time ... Stupid mistake I made I gave him my number, now he calls all the time even when I try 2 avoid them, he knows I have caller ID so he'll just call in private

I just want 2 tell him, I'm not in2 with no hard feelings, it's easier said then done, all because I know he really likes me, do some of y'all got any good advice ?

I

DigitalLisa said:

Just tell the fucker to fuck the fuck off and that he'll NEVER have sex with you...not once, ever!

Tell him never to darken your door again and if he ever calls or shows his face you'll call the cops for the stalking.

And if he asks for the gifts back, tell him you sold them to buy a new car.

liberation said:

He's does have stalker pontential ... yet I don't want 2 him cuz he's a nice guy ... see I'm not that bitch that some of u think I'm really am

Tell me him the truth, Lisa. Anything else is going to be construed by him as leading him on. Think about if you would want someone to tell you the truth or not.

DigitalLisa said:

i think u should proceed

with caution and let

him down easy

let him know u only

want his friendship

don't bring out the

stalker lying dormant

inside of him


you're not a bitch girl

u cool

DigitalLisa said:

Show him some of your post on the org. That should do the trick :LOL:

tell him you have a terminal std that should work, if not just slowly fade away don't return his calls and stay busy!

stymie said:

True... I was beginning 2 feel as if I was leading him a bit, but I think I'm going 2 tell him the truth , only thing is he seem like the type who just won't take no 4 anwer, I just tell him I have a uncuriable Std

But then I do live in a small town, rumors start fast
[This message was edited Sat Aug 16 21:14:22 PDT 2003 by DigitalLisa]

I hear so many girls say, "but I don't want to be mean" when they get hit on by guys they don't like. HELL-OH, it's not mean to politely decline. It is mean to pretend you like him or keep him in limbo, just for the attention or an ego-boost...

Sometimes we girls are so worried about everyone liking us all of the time. Saying 'no, thank you' is not going to make him go slash his wrists, especially if you've never even started anything. He'll move along to the next one

AnotherLoverToo said:

Are you trying to tell me something?

althom said:

Ummm , no, Althom...ummm...I really like you and ummm, sure you can still stay with me when you come visit Seattle...just gimme a call ...ummm, but I might not be home or anything when you do call, but there are loads of great hotels and places to stay downtown...

((OMGGG, GIRLS HOW DO I GET RID OF THIS STALKER?!?! I DON"T WANT TO BE MEEEAN ))

AnotherLoverToo said:

He came 2 me, truthfully

I told him I wasn't looking 4 anybody at the time,yet he presis

I don't need attention.


At least not that kind of attention

Like I said I tell him he doesn't have 2 buy me anything ,yet he insists

It's like the more I try 2 reject him the more he tries 2 come on 2 me
[This message was edited Sat Aug 16 21:29:10 PDT 2003 by DigitalLisa]

DigitalLisa said:

Didn't mean that you personally were looking for attention, just saying some girls don't want to let go entirely for that reason.

I really think you need to stop accepting the gifts. Seriously. Don't take them from him. And don't try saying it would be "mean" not to!

AnotherLoverToo said:

I can see you!

Can you see this?

AnotherLoverToo said:

Yes I can...and I think you need to shave.

althom said:

((now ignoring althom for infinity))

AnotherLoverToo said:

I still love you hairy though.

althom said:

AnotherLoverToo said:

hey guys get a room

DigitalLisa said:

But I'm too worried he'll be mad when I tell him I don't want to...

AnotherLoverToo said:

this is what would u do




[This message was edited Sat Aug 16 22:00:45 PDT 2003 by DigitalLisa]

DigitalLisa said:

Yeah Lisa!!

(and stop taking the presents)

AnotherLoverToo said:

Actually I am a nice person ... I don't want 2 go around breaking anybody hearts , I do believe in karma
Even though I've had my share of broken hearts, oh what's a girl 2 do ...

DigitalLisa said:

It's not like you guys have been dating or have a commitment--how are you truly going to "break his heart"? Sure, he might be disappointed, but c'mon, get real about what a broken heart truly is. If you're polite but firm, there's no problem with karma or guilt. But when you don't tell the truth and keep taking things from him, that's sending him a message, Lisa. You asked, I'm telling it from an experienced perspective.

AnotherLoverToo said:

Listen he wanted me 2 go out without on a date, but I told him I don't think I can make it, he kept asking me why??

I'm like huh ...

So it's like I have been giving him hints
I think he knows I'm not really feeling him, yet he keeps bothering me ya know



I like him as a friend and this is what I told him
I'm not really looking 4 anybody, but we can be friends

And he's like, "Oh yeah, we'll start off as friends, then you know we'll end up as lovers"

and I'm like :Roll:

Then I guess what gets me with the guilt thing, is he always say how I changed his life, because I was the only person who really excepted him for who he is

But now it's like things are getting serious and I'm trying 2 avoid ... now do u understand where I'm coming from, its not like some stranger I meant in the club or anything

DigitalLisa said:

If you're not firm with him now, it's probably only going to get worse. Maybe most guys would get the hint, but obviously he needs a more direct approach. If you're not gonna handle it, if you're gonna come here for advice but then not consider any real solutions...well...get used to living the rest of your life hiding from him.

There's nothing else for it, you'll just have to marry the guy and spend the rest of your lives together. Sorry, there's no other way Or you could just have sex with him, out of guilt / pity. Mmm, pity-sex!

Seriously though, rejection is always disappointing (so I'm told, ahem) and breakups are always painful - there is no way to do this without bruising some feelings or his ego. Just get it done... it's like tearing off a band-aid... the quicker you do it, the easier it is Just be firm and honest.

Relationships are a messy business, and you can't go into them with the attitude "oh I don't want to disappoint him" or "oh I feel guilty". Needless to say, guilt / pity is not the best basis on which to form a long-lasting relationship

Or there's the Homer Simpson approach...

3 words: "I am gay"

ian said:

Ian, wtf are you doing up at this hour?