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Thread started 08/10/03 11:07am

AnotherLoverTo
o

The Beautiful Ones.....

Another study I was reading found that physically attractive people got higher raises (and made more money in general), and were more successful in their careers than people who were less attractive.

Other studies have found that people tend to assume that attractive people have more positive personality traits than unattractive people do (this was based on showing people pictures and then asking them their impressions of what the people are like in the photos).

How many of us will admit that we tend to give 'the beautiful ones' more of our attention and a better chance in life? Or, if you're one of the gifted, do you admit life is easier for you?

hmmm

(catchier title edit smile)
[This message was edited Sun Aug 10 13:42:59 PDT 2003 by AnotherLoverToo]
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Reply #1 posted 08/10/03 11:10am

lillith

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oh yes nod life is so easy for me.


wink
you're only as old as you feel..............so how old do i feel horny

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
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Reply #2 posted 08/10/03 11:10am

lillith

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p.s- previous post...joke.


wink
you're only as old as you feel..............so how old do i feel horny

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
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Reply #3 posted 08/10/03 11:15am

AnotherLoverTo
o

lol Lillith

Seriously, though, I think we often don't realize the impact that physical beauty has on us. A person is much more likely to start up a conversation with someone they find attractive than with someone they consider "ugly". And then as we get to know the person, the looks don't matter so much and I think we forget we ever cared about how that person looked--when actually, that may have been what drew us to that person in the first place and allowed us to truly get to "know" them...
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Reply #4 posted 08/10/03 11:15am

irresistibleb1
tch

if we're truly honest with ourselves, there's probably something to that.

i wonder if a similar bias exists for height?! sometimes i feel that i'm being given credit of some sort just for being tall. well, maybe it can make up for the lack of beauty... lol
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Reply #5 posted 08/10/03 11:16am

AnotherLoverTo
o

irresistibleb1tch said:

if we're truly honest with ourselves, there's probably something to that.

i wonder if a similar bias exists for height?! sometimes i feel that i'm being given credit of some sort just for being tall. well, maybe it can make up for the lack of beauty... lol


I'd say you're right about height! I think a tall person automatically commands respect--it's probably some innate instinct where your size/strength automatically gives you status nod

(You Amazon-Bitch, you! wink)
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Reply #6 posted 08/10/03 11:19am

irresistibleb1
tch

AnotherLoverToo said:

irresistibleb1tch said:

if we're truly honest with ourselves, there's probably something to that.

i wonder if a similar bias exists for height?! sometimes i feel that i'm being given credit of some sort just for being tall. well, maybe it can make up for the lack of beauty... lol


I'd say you're right about height! I think a tall person automatically commands respect--it's probably some innate instinct where your size/strength automatically gives you status nod

(You Amazon-Bitch, you! wink)


lol

respect my authoritay! cartman
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Reply #7 posted 08/10/03 11:20am

Handclapsfinga
snapz

i ain't too sure about that study...me and most of the folks here in the midwest look pretty damned average, y'know...lol
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Reply #8 posted 08/10/03 11:30am

AnotherLoverTo
o

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

i ain't too sure about that study...me and most of the folks here in the midwest look pretty damned average, y'know...lol


Well, I'm not necessarily talkin' Baywatch here lol I lived in the Midwest most of my life, too, and there are some people who definitely stand out.
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Reply #9 posted 08/10/03 11:32am

teller

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I can't tell how beautiful someone is until they open their mouth and start speaking.
Fear is the mind-killer.
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Reply #10 posted 08/10/03 11:34am

AnotherLoverTo
o

teller said:

I can't tell how beautiful someone is until they open their mouth and start speaking.


Hmmm, that's not very Darwinistic of you! hmm

wink
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Reply #11 posted 08/10/03 11:37am

Byron

I think I had just the opposite reaction before concerning "beauty" (however you desire to define it)...

I was in the grocery store about 5-6 months ago...and as I walked down one of the isles, I saw this extraordinarily beautiful woman...maybe in her mid-to-late 20's...just stunning looking, great smile, gorgeous dark hair, beautiful eyes, skin, figure...everything. I think pretty much everybody there would have stared at her for a moment, man or woman, straight or gay...

Close behind her was a man, probably around her age, who was mentally handicapped (down syndrome, I think...)...it didn't occur to me until she turn around towards him, smiling, and started talking to him, that they were there at the store together...she was talking, joking and smiling with him as if they'd known each other all their lives...I immediately thought "Must be her brother or something..", and went on my way past them...it wasn't until I went down another isle, and saw a few other people accompanying other handicapped people that these people were volunteers of some kind, there helping those who were mentally challenged with their shopping and normal daily errands...I thought back to the gorgeous woman, and realized it wasn't her brother or a family member...that she was simply volunteering her time and energy to help this person out.

I started to realize that, because of her beauty, I didn't assume that she would (or could) also have a caring and empathetic heart & soul...In my mind at that time, I was assuming that if she was with someone who was handicapped, it was only because she had to be, because they were family...not that she'd choose to be...and I asked myself if I would have had those same thoughts had this woman been "average" looking, or "less than average"...was I assuming that "beautiful" people are far less likely to think of anyone but themselves??...That, if she were more "plain", I'd have an easier time imagining her having a big heart??...
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Reply #12 posted 08/10/03 11:40am

AnotherLoverTo
o

Byron said:

I think I had just the opposite reaction before concerning "beauty" (however you desire to define it)...

I was in the grocery store about 5-6 months ago...and as I walked down one of the isles, I saw this extraordinarily beautiful woman...maybe in her mid-to-late 20's...just stunning looking, great smile, gorgeous dark hair, beautiful eyes, skin, figure...everything. I think pretty much everybody there would have stared at her for a moment, man or woman, straight or gay...

Close behind her was a man, probably around her age, who was mentally handicapped (down syndrome, I think...)...it didn't occur to me until she turn around towards him, smiling, and started talking to him, that they were there at the store together...she was talking, joking and smiling with him as if they'd known each other all their lives...I immediately thought "Must be her brother or something..", and went on my way past them...it wasn't until I went down another isle, and saw a few other people accompanying other handicapped people that these people were volunteers of some kind, there helping those who were mentally challenged with their shopping and normal daily errands...I thought back to the gorgeous woman, and realized it wasn't her brother or a family member...that she was simply volunteering her time and energy to help this person out.

I started to realize that, because of her beauty, I didn't assume that she would (or could) also have a caring and empathetic heart & soul...In my mind at that time, I was assuming that if she was with someone who was handicapped, it was only because she had to be, because they were family...not that she'd choose to be...and I asked myself if I would have had those same thoughts had this woman been "average" looking, or "less than average"...was I assuming that "beautiful" people are far less likely to think of anyone but themselves??...That, if she were more "plain", I'd have an easier time imagining her having a big heart??...


Those pesky scientists need more like you in their studies! nod
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Reply #13 posted 08/10/03 11:57am

Anji

I think we might be attracted to what mirrors ourselves, or in some cases, what we'd like to see reflecting on ourselves. Some people hold their partners up in such a fashion so as to reflect their partner's beauty onto themselves. There's all too often a fine line between being happy, proud and insecure.

What I usually see as beautiful, many others do too, but not everyone. I find that a girl can be gorgeous on the outside but only really able to command my attention if I find her gorgeous on the inside too. If her soul is not mirroring mine or what I want to be influenced by, but I still find her physically attractive, I'll usually just be thinking about sex and having fun.

eek
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Reply #14 posted 08/10/03 11:59am

Anxiety

I think confidence factors into it as well. I would guess that an attractive person with a low self-image would most likely miss out on all these so-called "perks". Someone who knows how to "work it", meanwhile...
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Reply #15 posted 08/10/03 12:00pm

Cloudbuster

avatar

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

i ain't too sure about that study...me and most of the folks here in the midwest look pretty damned average, y'know...lol



I remember seeing a picture of you on here from a while back. I think you're pretty.
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Reply #16 posted 08/10/03 12:06pm

Byron

Cloudbuster said:

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

i ain't too sure about that study...me and most of the folks here in the midwest look pretty damned average, y'know...lol



I remember seeing a picture of you on here from a while back. I think you're pretty.

She is!... nod

Nuthin' average about HamSpanks... smile
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Reply #17 posted 08/10/03 12:07pm

Byron

AnotherLoverToo said:

Those pesky scientists need more like you in their studies! nod

Send 'em to Cali... cool
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Reply #18 posted 08/10/03 12:14pm

Muse2NOPharaoh

Byron said:

I think I had just the opposite reaction before concerning "beauty" (however you desire to define it)...

I was in the grocery store about 5-6 months ago...and as I walked down one of the isles, I saw this extraordinarily beautiful woman...maybe in her mid-to-late 20's...just stunning looking, great smile, gorgeous dark hair, beautiful eyes, skin, figure...everything. I think pretty much everybody there would have stared at her for a moment, man or woman, straight or gay...

Close behind her was a man, probably around her age, who was mentally handicapped (down syndrome, I think...)...it didn't occur to me until she turn around towards him, smiling, and started talking to him, that they were there at the store together...she was talking, joking and smiling with him as if they'd known each other all their lives...I immediately thought "Must be her brother or something..", and went on my way past them...it wasn't until I went down another isle, and saw a few other people accompanying other handicapped people that these people were volunteers of some kind, there helping those who were mentally challenged with their shopping and normal daily errands...I thought back to the gorgeous woman, and realized it wasn't her brother or a family member...that she was simply volunteering her time and energy to help this person out.

I started to realize that, because of her beauty, I didn't assume that she would (or could) also have a caring and empathetic heart & soul...In my mind at that time, I was assuming that if she was with someone who was handicapped, it was only because she had to be, because they were family...not that she'd choose to be...and I asked myself if I would have had those same thoughts had this woman been "average" looking, or "less than average"...was I assuming that "beautiful" people are far less likely to think of anyone but themselves??...That, if she were more "plain", I'd have an easier time imagining her having a big heart??...



BANG!

Excellent!
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Reply #19 posted 08/10/03 1:21pm

pejman

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We're all beautiful and I'll bet we can all get ugly.
-------------------------------------------------





MENACE TO SOBRIETY drink
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Reply #20 posted 08/10/03 1:24pm

irresistibleb1
tch

pejman said:

We're all beautiful and I'll bet we can all get ugly.


nod well put!
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Reply #21 posted 08/10/03 1:36pm

AnotherLoverTo
o

Byron said:

AnotherLoverToo said:

Those pesky scientists need more like you in their studies! nod

Send 'em to Cali... cool


Well, I just mean that maybe they needed more of those who think like you do to "even out" the representation of how people view beauty (do you really think Cali is a good place to find folks who don't value beauty like that, though? hmm wink).

(I think) you're saying you realized with this occurrence that you saw physically beautiful people as tending to be less kind or have less "heart and soul"? Whereas in this study I mentioned, people tended to give the better looking person more positive personality traits.
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Reply #22 posted 08/10/03 1:37pm

theblueangel

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She's just using that old trick of The Beautiful Ones...actin' like she don't know she fine! wink


Cloudbuster said:

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

i ain't too sure about that study...me and most of the folks here in the midwest look pretty damned average, y'know...lol



I remember seeing a picture of you on here from a while back. I think you're pretty.
No confusion, no tears. No enemies, no fear. No sorrow, no pain. No ball, no chain.

Sex is not love. Love is not sex. Putting words in other people's mouths will only get you elected.

Need more sleep than coke or methamphetamine.
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Reply #23 posted 08/10/03 1:43pm

TonyWilliams

the beautiful ones...u always seem 2 loose...the beautiful ones...u always seem 2 loose...the beautiful ones...u always seem 2 loose...the beautiful ones...u always seem 2 loose
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Reply #24 posted 08/10/03 1:46pm

AnotherLoverTo
o

Anji said:

I think we might be attracted to what mirrors ourselves, or in some cases, what we'd like to see reflecting on ourselves. Some people hold their partners up in such a fashion so as to reflect their partner's beauty onto themselves.

ALT--I agree--the old "arm/eyecandy" approach, where the attractive person is treated like a thing to be paraded about in order to draw attention or confer status

There's all too often a fine line between being happy, proud and insecure.

What I usually see as beautiful, many others do too, but not everyone. I find that a girl can be gorgeous on the outside but only really able to command my attention if I find her gorgeous on the inside too. If her soul is not mirroring mine or what I want to be influenced by, but I still find her physically attractive, I'll usually just be thinking about sex and having fun.

ALT--I can't even maintain thoughts about sex/fun with a person if their personalities are not attractive to me.

eek

[This message was edited Sun Aug 10 14:02:59 PDT 2003 by AnotherLoverToo]
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Reply #25 posted 08/10/03 1:54pm

youngsoulrebel

..

it is a sad fact that the soceity we live in chooses to
judge us on our outside appearance rather than our true inner beauty and soul .
it is a sign of ppl's values and what they aspire to be
rather than being prepared to do the soul work and become who they really are
it is far easier to have cheap thrills, with strangers
than to work at and keep a real relationship alive
i believe that as long as lust remains the hidden agenda
behind relationships
we will be judged by our physical beauty
and not who we are or what we do or say

..

if i dont meet some one on a soul level i never take it any further.
looks dont even come into it.

..
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Reply #26 posted 08/10/03 1:58pm

pejman

avatar

TonyWilliams said:

the beautiful ones...u always seem 2 loose...the beautiful ones...u always seem 2 loose...the beautiful ones...u always seem 2 loose...the beautiful ones...u always seem 2 loose




stoned
-------------------------------------------------





MENACE TO SOBRIETY drink
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Reply #27 posted 08/10/03 2:03pm

AnotherLoverTo
o

pejman said:

TonyWilliams said:

the beautiful ones...u always seem 2 loose...the beautiful ones...u always seem 2 loose...the beautiful ones...u always seem 2 loose...the beautiful ones...u always seem 2 loose




stoned


:FlickstheBicLighter:
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Reply #28 posted 08/10/03 2:05pm

pejman

avatar

AnotherLoverToo said:

pejman said:

TonyWilliams said:

the beautiful ones...u always seem 2 loose...the beautiful ones...u always seem 2 loose...the beautiful ones...u always seem 2 loose...the beautiful ones...u always seem 2 loose




stoned


:FlickstheBicLighter:





blunt thanxxx
-------------------------------------------------





MENACE TO SOBRIETY drink
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Reply #29 posted 08/10/03 2:20pm

Byron

AnotherLoverToo said:

(do you really think Cali is a good place to find folks who don't value beauty like that, though? hmm wink).

Heh...dint think of that...lol

(I think) you're saying you realized with this occurrence that you saw physically beautiful people as tending to be less kind or have less "heart and soul"? Whereas in this study I mentioned, people tended to give the better looking person more positive personality traits.

Yeah, basically that's what I had to ask myself after that experience...if I tend to look at the "beautiful" people in a more negative light than I do anyone else...as if I automatically assume those of us who are considered "gorgeous" by stereotypical western beauty standards are more shallow and less empathetic than the rest of us...

In fact, in the scenario I described up above, I actually found myself initially saying "Wow...she must be really something to be that beautiful and still give her time to volunteer with the handicapped.."...and I immediately realized that I was giving "extra credit" to her because of her looks that I wouldn't have given to someone of "ordinary" looks...as if she's overcoming some handicap of her own by being a decent, compassionate human being while also being beautiful...lol...I had to really question how I truly viewed the (physically) "beautiful" people, because it was seeming as though I didn't view them as "highly" as the rest of us in terms of inner strength, compassion and empathy towards others. I had to check my own "prejudices", I guess...

Ironically, it's inner strength, compassion and empathy (among other things) which causes me to see someone as "beautiful"...
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