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Printable oops... i sat on my reply for too long - i've since read your answer to my questions... my bad. | |
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INSATIABLE said: AnotherLoverToo said: My mom was my dad's first wife, and we're his only kids. My mom remarried my stepdad when I was about 12 yrs old, and they've been together ever since. So that's been an excellent role model for me as far as marriage goes. But my father is another story--watching him with his wives, and the way he was so emotionally distant and judgmental of them, has really affected me, I think. I definitely got a mixed message, but I think all in all I've worked through a lot of it... Wow... I understand. My dad was my mom's second... and she basically left him out of the blue. My stepmom lived with us for over a decade before they married... he was so scared to put himself and me through it all again. Abandonment is a huge issue with divorce, and I think it makes children of divorce extremely afraid of, yet also hungry for, intimacy. It's like we want to prove we can do it "right", finally "win" that struggle. Yet we're deathly afraid of messing up again... What a conundrum! | |
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irresistibleb1tch said: oops... i sat on my reply for too long - i've since read your answer to my questions... my bad.
I think we posted near the same time, so you couldn't have seen it before. We were on the same wavelength!  | |
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Hmmm... my story may be twisted. 
~My mother (I believe) has been married around 6-7 times. (we did not live in her presence) great 
~My father... I am not exactly sure, although I know of at least 2-3. 
~Then there is the situation of my Aunt and Uncle who raised my sister and I... ... oh, it's a long story... 
Although, yes... it help mold my morals, they are still taking "shape" as I share/speak. Do I believe marriage is absolute?  Yet I do believe that two people can love unconditionally and be content with one another free of marriage as well as with marriage. 
... It's a journey 4 sure.  [This message was edited Sun Jul 27 21:54:34 PDT 2003 by Freespirit] | |
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Freespirit said: Hmmm... my story may be twisted.
~My mother (I believe) has been married around 6-7 times. (we did not live in her presence) great
~My father... I am not exactly sure, although I know of at least 2-3.
~Then there is the situation of my Aunt and Uncle who raised my sister and I... ... oh, it's a long story...
Although, yes... it help mold my morals, they are still taking "shape" as I share/speak. Do I believe marriage is absolute? Yet I do believe that two people can love unconditionally and be content with one another free of marriage as well as with marriage.
... It's a journey 4 sure.
[This message was edited Sun Jul 27 21:54:34 PDT 2003 by Freespirit] Yes, I think our earliest models of marriage (our mothers/fathers/aunts/uncles) have a huge effect upon our outlook. I think we either tend to repeat their patterns subconsciously, or go the complete opposite way. Hopefully, with experience and awareness comes resolution in our own lives. | |
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Life is a continuous cycle, we either live the cycle of what we experienced/know...
~or we choose to break that cycle and and take that (sometimes) critcal step out... I (consciously) took that step out. 
Awareness along with action... is key.  | |
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My parents were married for nearly 50 years and from that I learned that I will marry only once in my life, that any problem can be overcome as long as both want it to be, that love is eternal and that no one should argue in front of their kids (my parents never did.)
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applekisses said: My parents were married for nearly 50 years and from that I learned that I will marry only once in my life, that any problem can be overcome as long as both want it to be, that love is eternal and that no one should argue in front of their kids (my parents never did.)
Wow, you totally "got" my question!
How are you? Feels like I haven't "talked" to you in awhile! | |
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AnotherLoverToo said: applekisses said: My parents were married for nearly 50 years and from that I learned that I will marry only once in my life, that any problem can be overcome as long as both want it to be, that love is eternal and that no one should argue in front of their kids (my parents never did.)
Wow, you totally "got" my question!
How are you? Feels like I haven't "talked" to you in awhile! Hey I did I'm doing well,,,it's nearly 2 am here and I'm just about to head to bed. How are you doing? | |
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applekisses said: AnotherLoverToo said: applekisses said: My parents were married for nearly 50 years and from that I learned that I will marry only once in my life, that any problem can be overcome as long as both want it to be, that love is eternal and that no one should argue in front of their kids (my parents never did.)
Wow, you totally "got" my question!
How are you? Feels like I haven't "talked" to you in awhile! Hey I did I'm doing well,,,it's nearly 2 am here and I'm just about to head to bed. How are you doing?Very well, thanks! I am not missing Michigan this summer, with its heat and humidity!  | |
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Lusty fella!
My mom has been happily divorced for a zillion years...I think I am like her in that I am such a freespirit.. Kinda scares me. Scares my man friend, too! ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect, it means you've decided to look beyond the imperfections... unknown | |
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AnotherLoverToo said: Good Lawd, the man is not cut out for marriage, but he's gonna do it for the 4th time next weekend! Let's wish him the best, huh?
My question is: how many times have your parents been married, and did their marriage affect how you look at marriage? To marry once is a mistake, to marry twice in unlucky, but 4 times. Good luck this time Mr AnotherLoverToo.   NOTE: THIS ACCOUNT IS NOW CLOSED. PLEASE CONTACT “K A M  L L E” | |
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AnotherLoverToo said: applekisses said: AnotherLoverToo said: applekisses said: My parents were married for nearly 50 years and from that I learned that I will marry only once in my life, that any problem can be overcome as long as both want it to be, that love is eternal and that no one should argue in front of their kids (my parents never did.)
Wow, you totally "got" my question!
How are you? Feels like I haven't "talked" to you in awhile! Hey I did I'm doing well,,,it's nearly 2 am here and I'm just about to head to bed. How are you doing?Very well, thanks! I am not missing Michigan this summer, with its heat and humidity! No shit...it drives my migranes and allergies wild...I'm actually thinking of moving at some point. | |
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