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PrintableMarriage is a statement of commitment--a way, sort of, to seal off any exits in the relationship, which is why things can change suddenly when people get married. Working through this will bring you even closer together!
Or...perhaps in your case after 14 years marriage will change nothing...I'm primarily speaking from my own experience...  Fear is the mind-killer. | |
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 DO IT!! you finally can now!!! thats awesome...and its sounds as though the 2 of ya...aint leaving one another...so why not?? i think you should!  (L)
vi  | |
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Aerogram said: AnotherLoverToo said: Aerogram said: Lammastide said: Aero, I confess I've not followd the gay marriage issue. What benefits would you gain that you couldn't already enjoy through some power-of-attorney-type arrangement? I ask completely out of ignorance.
As for some validation beyond legal, is it really necessary to the health of your relationship? You seem committed, stable and happy already. Yep.. we are. But there are fiscal advantages. The problem is that we're both pretty anti-establishment anything. Unions are can be civil, but to us it feels like we seeked permission. We're afraid to lose our edge, our otherness. I think that's sometimes referred to as "false pride" or "cutting off your nose to spite your face" 
[This message was edited Thu Jul 17 20:38:37 PDT 2003 by AnotherLoverToo] I dunno... how can pride be false? I never understood that one. If you know a little bit about me, you can figure that I haven't exactly been welcomed in all those institutions, starting with school. Then it was the whole social scene in high school, which repulsed me (and by all account, they weren't too keen to have me around). I always have to work extra hard to be part of something, so I've often chosen not to try and just accept that I'm in the margin. Of course, now I don't feel like a total outsider anymore, but there are still many reasons to feel this way. Marriage would be a step toward a certain conformity, which just isn't very natural for me. It would take some work. I personally think that marriage could be a wonderful thing,provided that it is with the right person,However reading your previous statment it seems 2 me that u r not 2 sure that the "union" of marriage is the thing 4 u.how does P. feel have u asked?this is something that u DEFFINATELY have 2 discuss between u & see the reason 4 the "union".I also agree with Venus if it ain't broke don't fix it.however that being said I personally have no marriage experience,but have lots of friends that r married,some who regret it,some who don't.Take ure pick.Most of all BE HAPPY WITH URE DECISION!!! **************************************************
 SINGING IS THE LOWEST FORM OF COMMUNICATION - HOMER J. SIMPSON
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violett said: DO IT!! you finally can now!!! thats awesome...and its sounds as though the 2 of ya...aint leaving one another...so why not?? i think you should! (L)Yeah, but heterosexuals have made marriage a scary proposition, you gotta admit... | |
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Aerogram said: Yeah, but heterosexuals have made marriage a scary proposition, you gotta admit...
 | |
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Aerogram said: For instance, is it true fun flies out the window shortly after the wedding? I must know. You guys have experience...
why do you think i spend so much time here?! | |
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ThaHumanBody said: Aerogram said: AnotherLoverToo said: Aerogram said: Lammastide said: Aero, I confess I've not followd the gay marriage issue. What benefits would you gain that you couldn't already enjoy through some power-of-attorney-type arrangement? I ask completely out of ignorance.
As for some validation beyond legal, is it really necessary to the health of your relationship? You seem committed, stable and happy already. Yep.. we are. But there are fiscal advantages. The problem is that we're both pretty anti-establishment anything. Unions are can be civil, but to us it feels like we seeked permission. We're afraid to lose our edge, our otherness. I think that's sometimes referred to as "false pride" or "cutting off your nose to spite your face"
[This message was edited Thu Jul 17 20:38:37 PDT 2003 by AnotherLoverToo] I dunno... how can pride be false? I never understood that one. If you know a little bit about me, you can figure that I haven't exactly been welcomed in all those institutions, starting with school. Then it was the whole social scene in high school, which repulsed me (and by all account, they weren't too keen to have me around). I always have to work extra hard to be part of something, so I've often chosen not to try and just accept that I'm in the margin. Of course, now I don't feel like a total outsider anymore, but there are still many reasons to feel this way. Marriage would be a step toward a certain conformity, which just isn't very natural for me. It would take some work. I personally think that marriage could be a wonderful thing,provided that it is with the right person,However reading your previous statment it seems 2 me that u r not 2 sure that the "union" of marriage is the thing 4 u.how does P. feel have u asked?this is something that u DEFFINATELY have 2 discuss between u & see the reason 4 the "union".I also agree with Venus if it ain't broke don't fix it.however that being said I personally have no marriage experience,but have lots of friends that r married,some who regret it,some who don't.Take ure pick.Most of all BE HAPPY WITH URE DECISION!!! I did ask P. what he thought, and he thinks it's corny as hell. He made some play on the words bond and bondage that I can't possibly repeat here. | |
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teller said: Marriage is a statement of commitment--a way, sort of, to seal off any exits in the relationship, which is why things can change suddenly when people get married. Working through this will bring you even closer together!
Or...perhaps in your case after 14 years marriage will change nothing...I'm primarily speaking from my own experience... Well if YOU are for marriage, I'm definetely not tying the nut. | |
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All of my adult life, I've been on and off about marriage and if I would ever want to do it.
I think the most important factor to establish is the intention behind getting married. What is getting married for? Personally, I could only ever get married to a person, after a)I had experienced enough of my own sacredness as a person and b)If I could experience a sacredness with another person. I imagine I would want to then marry as a symbol of divine unity, but only after experiencing my own. | |
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