REDFEATHERS said:

REDFEATHERS said:

I grew up in a very violent household, and have only once ever raised a hand to anyone, and only because it was the only way to end his incessant sttacking of me.

I have an X boyfriend who was horribly physically abused. He never dreamed of striking me. Never even shouted at me. Very gentle spirit. No general rule has ever applied to a segment of population.

We should remember many in here have suffered the same and wouldn't like to think that their fate is sealed. ( Or that people think that of them automatically)

REDFEATHERS said:

Girlfriend... that is damned scary.

sag10 said:

It was...

Muse2noPharaoh said:

Yes, I am just asking for peoples views, opinions and or experiences, everyone is different, some worse than others unfortunatley.

REDFEATHERS said:

Girlfriend... that is damned scary.

Teacher said:

Well, your favorable outcome (congratulations!) does does not negate the validity of a genetic link for alcoholism. It has been extensively studied and established to exist. In fact, there are similar data supporting a genetic basis for violent behavior, an effect that may be more important than environmental violence (being raised in a violent home).

Put another way, a child born to violent parents who is then adopted by nonviolent parents has a greater liklihood of violent behavior than the child born to nonviolent parents who is adopted and raised by violent parents. Such studies have been performed with twins separated at birth.

To illustrate this point, look at the behavior of different breeds of dogs. I haven't heard about a fatal mauling from a golden retriever lately, but there are truly violent breeds whose behavior is harder to control. Obviously, environment has a lot to do with behavior, true of humans and dogs, but I would not underestimate the effects of genetic predisposition. You'll have a hard time raising a golden retriever to be a violent animal. Even if you succeed, I wouldn't bet on him at the local dog fight when he's lined up against a similar-sized rottweiler.

TheMax said:

Since I work with dogs I will not get into a discussion about this, let's suffice it to say that I understand what u're saying but I don't agree.

Teacher said:

Yes, and since I work with humans, I think that would be best.

REDFEATHERS said:

Is this that famous virtual kick again?

Seriously, are we speaking about people that you have actually met or is this a continuation of online perceptions? I am asking this in all seriousness.

I guess either way it is safe to assume that if you are not treated well in any circumstance then it is your right and duty to leave and not revisit the situation.

Of course people can, do and will change, not all but it certainly is possible. The general consenus here is resoundingly yes. Humanity at it's best is always moving towards a more evolved state. Here's to healing for all the people who have endured real physical, emotional or verbal abuse.

i agree Twisted, see we are all products of our Enviroment, once a man asked me where i was from when i told him i was from The south Bronx, automatically i was a car thief, and chain snatcher,and a drug dealer now you are thinking "what does that have to do with this thread" answer, alot see

just because you were raised in a certain enviroment, that doesnt mean you have to become what the enviroment is, its a choice basically u can be a violent, or choose to learn from all that violence and become non-violent.so to get to the point the answer is NO.
[This message was edited Mon Jul 14 11:41:59 PDT 2003 by Finess]

Finess said:

Like when they find out that I am gay they think I wanna penetrate their sorry ass.

TwIsTeDmInD said:

You are a very wise individual Dear twist.

So TM says "yes" and Finess agrees with it and says "no".

Teacher said:

If it is really that hard to follow, I am saying Yes, people can change. I really didn't think that needs clarification, but there you have it.

Teacher said:

the NO meant u dont have to be a violent person if u grow up in a violent enviroment.

Both. genetics and nurture, family patterns.

..
what you are really asking is whether it is nature or nuture that shapes ones personality and being. if one is born violent or is their childhood a direct response to their actions.

the complexity behind the human mind, behind our actions can not be answered so simply. there are many variables that control our enviroment, and it is unlikely one will find even two cases similar in nature to even begin an accurate study.

we are all born with a nature, a soul, which becomes the foundation for the building of one's self.

our experiences throughout our lives, how we are nutured, build upon our nature, shaping who we are, and what we become.

violence is a form of communication, and i believe that it is something usually learnt rather than being innate. therefore if one can learn something, they can unlearn it too. obviously this all depends on the soul work that individual is prepared to do, to conquer their weakness.

violence comes in many forms, verbal violence is much more prevalent in soceity than physical, i know which has hurt me personally more. but inevitably no form of violence is acceptable, living in this disjointed, segregated soceity, we as ppl need to learn how to interact with each other.

to unlearn all we have learned, to clear ones mind from all the cobwebs of our excesses and slackness. our perceptions rule our emotions and govern our reactions.

until we have conquered our own darkness, it is of little consequence how we treat each other, cos the downward spiral of our selves will lead to the inevitable.

therefore it is of little consequence how or why one is a certain way. the true reflection of their worth is how much they are prepared to work to change.

and this can only be done

if one's perception of reality is clear.

..

If the persons family is violent, there's mostly 2 options - either the persons becomes very violent or the person will fear violence and never ever use it because it knows how terrible it actually is.
Of course, it also depends what personality the person's got. If she/he's smart enough to see that violence is a bad thing and nothing can be solved using it, it's obvious the person will never use it. But if the person's is too wild (as a kid) it'll do what his mom/dad/brothers/sisters do and think it's OK. We all know that no matter what people say, your family will be the priority in taking examples from.

Again a strong reasoning mnd can
avoid a lot of the predispositions
of this sort.

We inherit much more from our parents than just our appearance.