For example. Let's say I have a "small" problem, if you know what I mean. And I'm afraid of the reactions or implications that this "small" problem will bring with the women I would like to get closer to. So I don't. I distance myself from them so I won't get hurt, or humiliated.
I do believe that if I didn't have that flaw, it would've made it much easier to get more intimate with women I like.

Do you think that a person who doesn't think he/she has such flaws, have an easier time getting intimate with others?

It's your fear of rejection, not the 'flaw' that makes you react that way.

True you may not have that fear if you didn't have the 'flaw', but you can also have the flaw without the fear, it's all about how you look at a situation.

Heavenly said:

Just growl and make mean faces when you whip it out... that should make it okay.

IceNine said:

I'm not very big, and very skinny, so if I growl it'd probably look like those tiny puppies that bark at you as if they could do any damadge. lol

Heavenly said:

You'd be surprised. I'm pretty puny but at least on one occasion have left a strong impression with my growl!

For me, I have some attributes I'm very conscious of, and yes, they make me want to distance myself.

It's all about other people's perspective, no matter how you
choose to look at it yourself. I mean, I have flaws, several
and I guess those prohibit me from doing all the things I
would like to do, yes. But at the end of the day, I notice
that when I run into someone with some of the same "flaws",
or other flaws, I don't really mind at all.

For a long time I've considered myself to be quite awfull
and unattractive so in return I would only hook up with
people that looked pretty darn bad. In fact, a lot of times
the friends of my partners used to say "what the hell are
you doing with ***, you are far to handsome for them".

So now I've finally arrived at a point where I consider
myself to be quite ok. Nothing really special, but ok.

Think about it this way, if it wasn't for other people or
some obstacle in getting close to someone else, would you
still want to change that "flaw"??

Besides, I've noticed that most people you end up getting
close to usually don't mind the "flaws" you worry about but
point out other flaws to you that you hadn't considered at
all before.



So at the end of the day you have to ask yourself if you
will let this drive you insane or if you're just gonna look
for a way to get through life without too many hassles and
with someone you can love and trust without having to worry
about your flaws all the time.

I've never bitched to anyone about their flaws, altho they
have been manyfold. What's the use? If I don't like someone
because of their flaws, than why do I hang around them? If
it makes me uncomfortable I should say something about it
and if it totally stresses me out I should just end the
relationship.

People that keep bitching about your flaws and yet don't cut
you loose usually have some major issues with their own
self-esteem and belitteling their partner usually makes them
feel more secure about themselves and in a twisted way it
makes people think you won't leave them and look for someone
better.

Heavenly said:

compared to whom?! you know that it's all in what you do with it! so don't sweat it, approach a woman you like with all the confidence you can muster right now, and i bet you things will work out fine.

I know my flaws make me distant, only I lost some of them so I would get more comfy with people. Only nw I want them back

U are a good person no matter what Heavenly, I had the great experience of having u as my guest for one week and I know it to be the truth. And no matter what, I love u

Jen

Heavenly said:

to everything you just said.

flaws...are poetic

Everybody has flaws I find it best to admit to mine...and if people do not like me for who I am flaws and all well I say FUCK EM.

I love me so there is not reason other people can't

MostBeautifulGrlNTheWorld said:

I've got tons !

INSATIABLE said:

HA ME TOO!!!

MostBeautifulGrlNTheWorld said:

Very nice. This is my current position on the matter as well.

I'm an ugly girl. And people love me anyway. They have good reasons.

tackam said:

I'm trying to get there,it's a long hard journey though

and I've seen the pics you posted your not ugly! Your pretty!

Sweeny79 said:

Feelin' ya on the journey. . .old behaviors are really hard to change. Somebody told me once that I ought to treat myself with the same compassion that I treat other important people in my life, and that idea stuck. But I do forget on occasion.

And I respectfully disagree on the ugly issue, but appreciate the compliment nonetheless.

tackam said:

Your welcome (but I'm right )
[This message was edited Sun Jul 13 20:48:23 PDT 2003 by Sweeny79]

tackam said:

You are beautiful in your own special and unique way...remember it is not just the outside but inside too...

MostBeautifulGrlNTheWorld said:

so true

tackam said:

sweets, I personally find you stunningly gorgeous...



NO LIE

tackam said:

I've seen you post that remark before! Your reality is distorted! You are NOT ugly I have seen your Pics. Whomever or whatever made you to believe that is crap. Fix it!

We all think we have flaws...that's just human nature.
There are things about myself that I don't like...looks, voice...whatever.
I know that I'm not the sexiest guy around but I also know that I'm not butt ugly. I wouldn't have girls find me attractive it that were the case.
You just have to forget about your little "flaws" and move along with life.

althom said:

Where do people get there ideas on "ugly" hollywood? So far the ones who have posted this stuff aren't even what society (bull shit that it is) deems as "ugly"! I have your pics too and your beautiful.

MostBeautifulGrlNTheWorld said:

I hate that song!

Paisley said:

TO BAD I IT AND I AM LISTENING TO IT NOW

MostBeautifulGrlNTheWorld said:

INSATIABLE said:

why ya always being mean to me?

Paisley said:

dudette, check the quotes! I'm puking at the garbage song!



[This message was edited Sun Jul 13 21:52:47 PDT 2003 by INSATIABLE]

ok granted Christina sings it, but I love the lyrics to it...it makes me feel better sometimes.