Here is an example of a fine business opportunity for you enterprising Americans out there:

Robbing pizza delivery guys great fun. You call in an order for a couple of dozen pizzas from a pay phone... you give them the address of a lot somewhere outside of town... they deliver the pizza... you point your gun at their head and demand all their money and the pizza... they give you the money and pizza... they leave and you eat.

Goddamn, America truly is the land of opportunity!

That's old hat.

STATEMENT!

minneapolisgenius said:

Some of us are just getting into robbery... can you give us some pointers?

IceNine said:

First, you need to dress up as a Girl Scout so no one will suspect anything.

You might want to shave first.

minneapolisgenius said:

Good point... maybe I should dress up as a nun and praise the name of the lord when I order the pizza and then praise the holy name of Lucifer when I rob the delivery guy... what do you think?

REDFEATHERS said:

It's an American thing, you wouldn't understand.

IceNine said:

You're just having this brainstorm NOW?!
But yes, that does sound like a good start.

IceNine said:

It is a very irresponsible thing and should not be encouraged on the Org...and fucks sake you've prolly never done it before, so why post it?

REDFEATHERS said:

Because it is fun... dork.

Now, I have never robbed anyone, burglarized anyone, used drugs, stolen merchandise, been a drug kingpin or any of those other things, but I do find them to be very funny.

Why don't you start a topic about underage sex? :LOL:

minneapolisgenius said:

Well... I have only just decided that a life of crime is the way to go... it all seems so glamorous.

IceNine said:

YEAH. I know where I want to move to. I love money and pizza.

I was a drug kingpin. Or queenpin, I guess.

CAMILLE4U said:

America is the land of opportunity, baby!
FREE PIZZA!
MURDER!
ROBBERY!!!

What's not to love??!

minneapolisgenius said:

Excellent!!!

Were you always "strapped" when you were rollin' down the street?

IceNine said:

I dont find underage sex funny, dork! I never started a thread about underage sex, dork.

REDFEATHERS said:

Okay, dork... then maybe you should rob a pizza delivery guy and get over it.

:LOL:

IceNine said:

No DORK I dont need to steal a pizza when I want one, or even use a gun, but if that is your american mentality, that I do not understand, then I will leave it to you..

IceNine said:

Naturally.

REDFEATHERS said:

:LOL:

You ALMOST got the joke... but you didn't.

Do you need me to spell it out for you so that you might be able to comprehend the joke?

:LOL:

For the unitiated who just don't get it, this topic is meant to poke fun at the American crime culture in which our citizens believe that it is better to steal something than to work for it. It is a sarcastic commentary on our young people who prefer crime to education and employment.

IceNine said:

No!

I LOVE MALLORY.

BorisFishpaw said:

Who or what is Mallory?

IceNine said:

Mallory Knox... as in Natural Born Killers

I bet Mickey & Mallory could give you a
few pointers on a life of crime.

BorisFishpaw said:

I never saw that whole movie... same basic point though.

most people like to start with 7/11's
then moving up to Gas Stations...

I can never remember what comes
inbetween Gas Stations & Local Banks
though...
.

BorisFishpaw said:

Right... I think that I will start with petty shoplifting and work my way up to... like... bigger shoplifting.

IceNine said:

You didn't read me that part brat!