Probably the earliest flyswatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick


I think someone should have had the decency to tell me the luncheon was free. To make someone run out with potato salad in his hand, pretending he's throwing up, is not what I call hospitality.



If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason



If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid looking in a mirror, because I bet that will really throw you into a panic

justkelley said:

I remember that one.

this is priceless...


If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid looking in a mirror, because I bet that will really throw you into a panic



too damn funny I LOVE THIS GUY