To summarize:

First he came late because his car was getting fixed. Then he pulled up at the house NEXT to mine instead of mine. Didn't quite understand that...

Second, it rained the whole damn day. And he insisted on holding an umbrella over me, and I was just walking from point A to point B. I'm not some princess.

Third, we went to Barnes and Noble (I know, we're dorks ) He bought a Noam Chomsky book (u knew that was coming)...then he didn't want me to leave without getting a book. He wouldn't give in, he insisted that I let him get me something. So I felt very awkward walking around trying to look for something he could buy me so I could get him off my back! I finally settled on a language book, and he seemed content. So I was happy.

Fourth, we went to a restaurant. We got a nice table in the corner. He was looking at me almost the whole time. I was scared to death! . Finally I got some balls and I began looking at him, but then he wouldn't look away. So it looked kinda like this: It was SO awkward!!!

To top that off, we couldn't find anything to talk about. The only time we both felt comfortable was when I picked on him a little bit about passing me the napkin a few days ago. He was fumbling with a napkin on the table and I asked him if he wanted a pen with that. Then later on I commented that he had a napkin fetish...

Hope I wasn't too hard on the poor lad.

Then he gave me flowers, which he had gotten for me. That was sweet. He had to take me back home early but he said if he hadn't had 2 do that, he was planning to take me to his place for some "Moroccan tea"... Wasn't too sure about that!

I guess the only thing that made our date a disaster was that he was WAY too cautious with me. He was so uptight about saying something wrong that he barely spoke, and when he did- he was very apologetic all the time. He just seemed jumpy and nervous and I like being doted on but damn!!! Boy was cray-zay.

The topping on the cake of disaster ocurred on the way home when he said, "I know it's too early to ask but...would u b interested in meeting with me again?"

I agreed, but I'm still nervous. Any tips on how to make this guy loosen up?! He is one of a kind and such a sweet guy, but too scared to make a mistake. HELP!

He obviously really likes you.
It's hard for guys...girls always expect us to make the first move or know what to do next. I think he was just nervous about making a good impression on you. Wait until the next date before you start to worry about loosening him up.


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[This message was edited Thu Jun 12 22:14:11 PDT 2003 by althom]

althom said:

What a relief. Thank u althom. I was trying my best to make him laugh. Then I was afraid to say something because then HE would take it the wrong way and start explaining himself. He also thought that my quietness was due to the fact that he was late, but I swore over and over I was just quiet cuz I had nothing 2 say!

As u said, I'm really hoping the next time is better. I'll go anywhere, as long as he feels comfortable and talks freely. That's what I want most is for him to tell me everything on his mind, but I guess it takes some time.

And u r SO right--as a guy I expected him to take control, and I really don't like being in control myself--I'm horrible at making decisions!

So let me make sure I understand: you think the date was a disaster because he was polite, shy, kind, generous, thoughtful and asked for your opinion and input?
[This message was edited Thu Jun 12 22:45:26 PDT 2003 by AnotherLoverToo]

Sorry Nep2nes, but if I knew anything about love, I'd be making it right now instead of hanging around the .org.

Seriously though... am I correct in interpreting your post to mean that you liked the guy, and it's just that the date itself left something to be desired?

I think you need to show him some tail, then he'll snap out of it.

Next time, just use the napkin to wipe your ass and move on...

Girl, I know what U mean.
I had that kind of a guy a few weeks ago, and he was so nervous! He didn't say anything, and afterwards, he accused me for forcing him to talk!

Anyway, just act natural and don't be to shy on telling him what U think. After a little while, when he gets to know u better, things will losen up and he'll be himself. Maybe he's too shy to speak, but he wasn't too shy to ask u if u would meet him again!! That's a good start!

U just hang on there and let him treat u like a princess - if that's what he wants. After all, not many men would like to buy u a book or hold an umbrella these days... so he's a sweet man, defenatly sounds so!

HerRoyalBadness said:

Well said! Give the guy a chance to relax around you. Then decide how you feel about him and if you want to go on seeing him.

Did you ask him if he was a greenhouse or a botanical garden?

He might loosen up a bit on the second date. Just give him time. The guy likes you and it's awkward for him because he doesn't want to do screw up so he's being overly cautious. Sounds like a nice guy though.

Nep2nes said:

Where else is he supposed to look if it's just the two of you at the table?

He sounds a bit uptight... I guess he's the shy nervous type, who maybe isn't very confident about approaching women.

Although for a 27 year old man, approaching a woman much younger than himself, I'd kind of expect him to be a bit more confident and self-assured.

I suppose you could give him another chance to see if you can get along with him better next time... Personally I find people like that a bit irritating. I'd sacrifice faux-romantic gestures like flowers, holding the umbrella etc for just a bit of easy-going, fun exchange of conversation... to me that's what the first date is always about, getting to figure each other out bit, being flirtatious, having a few laughs and seeing if you have stuff in common or can get along well. If it ain't happening, it ain't happening...

By the way though... if it is raining, I'll hold the umbrella to make sure my wife doesn't get wet, and I'll open the door for her etc. You shouldn't be annoyed by that stuff, let us do it, we like to feel useful and to feel like we are taking care of our womenfolk y'know?

you thought it was a disaster...Napkin Guy wrote a commentary about your date on The Onion.

Give him another chance, Neppy...he sounds like a shy, but nervous and sweet guy. And, if you're looking for a long-term relationship that's the kind of guy you need. Not some slick, player-type
Is he cute?

AnotherLoverToo said:

Here, here, girl

POOK said:

He is a total dork, this is a given, but he probably really likes her too.

Ya know, if he's this shy and insecure now, then how's he gonna be in the sack? Oh Lordy.

EvilWhiteMale said:

He will rock that pussy like a 9.5 magnitude earthquake. That fucking thing will be smoking after that guy is done with... he will ruin it for anyone else.

THAT GUY IS, WITHOUT A DOUBT, A SEXUAL BEAST WITH A LIBIDINAL BLOOD-LUST!!!

Maybe she should ask his friends if he has ever been referred to as a "sexual berzerker," just to be sure that she will be okay.

EvilWhiteMale said:

I suggest little neppie slips him a little Rohypnol.


Always glad to help out Dearhearts.

Nep all first dates are awkward when you don't know the person. Give him another chance if you think you may like him once he loosens up. It doesn't sound like it was a disaster.

I went on a date with a kid who wanted me to pick out a stuffed animal I finally had to tell him "Look pecker head, I'm not into stuffed animals!" The date ended there

CarrieLee said:

That's hilarious!

CarrieLee said:

That really hurt my feelings too.

CarrieLee said:

You really called him pecker head?

IceNine said:

Why would it hurt your feelings? I didn't even think you had any to begin with

Sag, yes I really said that. The kid was annoying, he called me 20 times before the date...all within an hour or so. Then we're walking around some stupid store and he asks me if I want a stuffed animal, I say no politely. He keeps asking and asking why I don't like them blah blah blah and then I told him. Oh well. I think he ended up going to jail at some point anyway, I made a wise decision.

CarrieLee said:

Oh, so soon we are rude.

*sniff*

IceNine said: