I need yet another reading for my wedding ceremony...something classy...not too "lovey." We're not romantic people, but would like a reading about commitment...values...friendship...that sort of shit. Ideally, I'm trying to find something with a literary background...we're both fucking literature fanatics, so that would make sense. My only problem is that most of my favorite authors don't exactly have happy views on marriage (i.e. I won't be reading Dostoyevsky or My Yan!)...

The first reading is a bunch of shit from Ayn Rand. No, I am not insane; she honestly had some great things to say about values and love, etc.

Any suggestions? The clock is really ticking, and I would be VERY GRATEFUL for any help/hints!!!

kahlil gibran..on love
check it out

John 3:16.

Oh, yes, before I forget...URLs leading straight to shit would be awesome.

Did I mention that I love you? All of you. You are my special love children.

Cloudbuster said:

violett said:

http://leb.net/gibran/

dude...its the shit..written in 1923...he was awesome
the whole book the prophet rules

violett said:

Thanks for the suggestion...Unfortunately, we're both Hell-bound heathens and are thus looking for non-religious, non-spiritual material. I feel like a jackass for not mentioning that before. Sorry!

Here I am, asking for people's help, only to make it more and more complicated...


"Alright people...I need a goddamn reading for my wedding...but it has to be exactly 3,416 syllables in length, the author must be at least six feet tall and really into collecting Beanie Babies...and it's gotta sound good played over Starship's We Built This City (On Rock 'n Roll)."

I know that suggestion wasn't exactly "religious" per se, but we're trying not to have the word "God" mentioned at all. Nor the words "Ass-blisters," "monkeypox," "cunt," "Pauly Shore," or "ramrod."

How 'bout the back sleeve of Purple Rain?

KingSausage said:

What about "Beef flaps"?

Hmmm...no Prince, either. I don't want my wedding party doing that lameass "I Would Die 4 U" dance...

Cloudbuster said:

If we slip it in near the end, maybe nobody will hear it...

violett said:

ditto

do you know anyone that can write something for you? that way i'd be both personal and it'll say exactly what you want it to.

(i wrote something for my girlfriend's wedding last year but it'd be too fluffy for what you're looking for.)

KingSausage said:

You could have Kiss "I Was Made For Loving You" as a bridal waltz.

Phoenixxx said:

Interesting suggestion...hmm...

KingSausage said:

Yeah, wait until people start applauding and then make numerous labia references. Always good.

I don't know if it's what your looking for but I've always been partial to this poem.


I Have No Life But This
by Emily Dickinson

I have no life but this,
To lead it here;
Nor any death, but lest
Dispelled from there;
Nor tie to earths to come,
Nor action new,
Except through this extent,
The Realm of You!

KingSausage said:

Somewhere I have a copy of our wedding ceremony, but I can't find it. Like you, I don't practice religion, and so we were married in a secular ceremony by a deputy court clerk.

The "reading" wasn't any great work of literature... I don't even know who wrote it, but it was short and simple, which is how we wanted it. And everyone in attendance, most of whom do subscribe to a religion, thought it was a very nice ceremony.

KingSausage said:

Thanks for the suggestions so far...THis is SO frustrating. I've been searching Google for damn near three hours now, and have spent countless hours the past few months searching...It's now at this weird point where I wonder what the point is of even having another reading if nothing comes to mind? Is there a point? How meaningful can it really be if we have to search so hard?

If I don't find another reading, are people going to think I'm totally insane or heartless for only having selections from Ayn Rand? I love Atlas Shrugged, but it isn't like I'm with the Cato Institute or something...

At a friends wedding they read a selection from a book of Van Gogh's correspondance with his brother. It was a few years ago, but from what I remeber it sounds right up your alley. About commitment and friendship and love, but not too mushy and not religious...

It's called The Letters of Vincent Van Gogh and is available at Amazon, although I bet you could pick it up at any Borders or B&N too. I couldn't find any passages online, so it may take some sifting through the book...

Don't look for a reading. Just stand at the altar and say "Is you is or is you ain't my baby?"

I could just whip "it" out and flail it at my stunned/awed audience...

i got it! LIMERICKS!!!

you could do your vows in limericks they're easy and fun! here, i'll get you started:

here stand two people in love
their union, a gift from above
let's hitch 'em up nice
and throw 'em some rice
then release a whole flock of white doves

I could even have an .Org contest...people could submit their bestm limerick/poem/haiku/essay/etc. about marriage, commitment, love, friendship and so on. The winner would be sent a SPECIAL PRIZE straight from Mr. & Mrs. Sausage themselves...

SPECIAL PRIZE erm...

hmm. what SORT of prize, exactly, are we talkin' here??

'I would not ask from you
Anything that you were not capable of giving
I would not ask from you
Anything but that which I truly need
And I would not take from you
Without giving equal value in return.

-- Javan

applekisses said: