I just got finished watching this show which featured Carnie Wilson talking about her trials and tribulations dealing with her weight problems. As I continued to view the program I couldn't help, but to think about my friend who has similar problems dealing with her weight. Now I'm not for the whole skinny is better tactics, but when you are overly weight and health issues are involved, this is when I get concerned and right now I’m concerned for my friend. I’ve been wanting to her help for a long time, I know for a fact she isn’t happy with how she is, she is seriously overweight and she’s very young, which make me sad to know all the pressure she has to deal with, among her peers. yet she hasn’t had the motivation nor inspiration to help her deal with it and I was wondering how do you suggest something that’s so serious without offending her in any way. I know this can be a sensitive subject, this is the reason why I haven’t said anything yet, but I only want what’s best for her and I want her to be strong and healthy. Any suggesting :Sad2:

Calling her Porky all of the time does not help?

DigitalLisa said:

Ask her to work out with you, that you're feeling sluggish and need a partner to help you exercise consistently.

Use this sensitive and utterly PC phrase:

"Eat a carrot or something, you fat tub of shit."

Get her to do something active with you like start going walking, and then eventually incorporate short jogs into your time together. I can't stress this enough because I hear people complain all the time that they can't lose weight, when they say they have been dieting and all that crap, but you MUST do some type of exercise to lose wieght and keep it off. Plus, she'll have a lot more energy and maybe grow to love working out (whatever that may be for her).

It's hard taking that first step and actually getting out there and making yourself do something new, but once she tries it and sees results, chances are that she will stick with it. Of course, this also depends on how overweight she is. If she is what is considered "obese", then it will be more difficult of course, but it can be done. And laying off the KFC doesn't hurt either.

Another good thing that anyone can do: YOGA!!!

God, I sound like Dr. Phil or something...

You can't help people who won't accept help.
So all you can do is offer to help, or give support.
If she wants it, then start finding out the best way for her to lose weight.

I don’t make fun of her, I never have, I’ve always accepted her for who she is, however. I just always been concerned about the health issues she has to deal with, including the fact that she very young. I often feel as if it ain’t my right to say anything , considering the fact that I’m not as big as she is and I never really had to deal with that kind of issue before. I know some may say it ain’t my problem, but I can’t help it, if I see someone who needs help, I would go out my way to help them regardless.

DigitalLisa said:

I was like 60-70 lbs overweight all through middleschool and most of highschool. Every "fat" remark anyone ever said to me over that 10 year period has always stuck in my head. It caused me to withdraw from people even more.

I started exercising and dieting the summer before my senior year, by my own free will. In fact I tried to be as private about it as possible. I didn't want people making remarks if I were to fail at some point. Within a year I took all the weight off, and the compliments, however shallow or sincere, were a great form of motivation along the way.

It depends on her personality. But from my own experience, anytime friends, or gym teachers, or anyone, would confront me about it, from that point on I always felt like they were dissapointed with me no matter what I did. That even though I was doin pretty good in school, staying out of trouble, winning art awards, etc, thats all they saw in me.

Just be careful not to back her into a corner with your remarks. Help her set long term goals for herself. If you help her elevate her self esteem in other aspects of her life, she might decide to improve her health on her own.
[This message was edited Thu Jun 12 6:47:34 PDT 2003 by Tom]

Why not suggest to her that the two of you get memberships at the local gym? Tell her that you are planning to diet and start working out and that you could really use a partner for inspiration and support.Once she sees how motivated you are,she may begin to feel the same way.

DavidEye said:

That's a great idea, David. I'd go with that one, Lisa

ThreadBare said:

Hey!!!

Does your friend realize that she has a problem? If so, ask her to see a doctor, as the doctor can explain the tremendous health risks associated with morbid obesity.

Some people feel insecure joining a gym or even being in one with so many people who appear to be slimmer than you and look the part. I do think that the idea given to you by DavidEye is great and you should try it.

However, you may want to consider starting her out slowly and getting her body moving with something that she likes to do before joining a gym... What does she like to do? Can the two of you go walking together? Rollerblading? Play volleyball or some other sport? Gardening? Skating? Yoga? Pilates? Swimming? Exercise videos... belly dancing, tae bo, etc, etc.

Being a role model yourself in terms of healthy eating habits whenever you are together will also help her to eat right. Lead by example.

Good luck!

ronnie said:

ALSO

POOK HEAR SEX BURN LOT OF CALORIE

Do not,I repeat do not give them pot brownies.

I promise you that she's very aware that she's fat, and she's very aware of the currently available ways to (try to) lose weight. If she wants your help, she'll ask for it. If you want to be helpful to her, (continue to) accept her as she is.

IMHO, as always.

StanleyApplebaum said:

"morbid obesity"?
Is that a fat person who is preoccupied with death?

DavidEye said:

Well said

DigitalLisa said:

Good.

minneapolisgenius said:

IT WHEN YOU SO FAT

YOU COULD DIE

IT TRUE