I DO think it's possible to be 1000 percent gay and at some point in life wake up and realize, "hey...I wanna be with a woman!" I'm not saying it's common, but it happens. People are too complex to fit into one neat box forever and ever, without their days of wanting to eat off a different plate.

That said, if people give you shade because they see you with a male significant other, screw 'em. Are they the kind of people you want in your good graces anyway? Are people who'd give you that much judgment as strangers the same people you'd want to have in your life?

My answer to that would be no.

There are cool, accepting people out there. Find them. They'll find you. To hell with the rest. They can accept you or else it's their loss.

And if you want to change who you are, you should do it because it feels right from within, not because it feels "appropriate" from without.

Rock on witcha bad self.

pimpdoutt said:

Well, good luck.

Many peeps have said things in this thread I like. And described exactly how I feel.

Sorry to hear it is all muddy waters for you, mate. I guess we all come to a point where you have to doubt what is and what is going to be.

I hope you will keep clearheaded and do not make hasty decisions. It seems you do not.

Big hug!

Anxiety said:

What happens far more commonly is that individuals are encouraged to try to change their orientation because of deep-rooted homophobia. I have yet to hear of someone who was successful in "giving up homosexuality", all of it (desire included). In fact, the poster boy for "Ex-gays", who was featured in an ad campaign a couple of years ago, was caught in a gay bar later.

I myself have at least one friend who became involved with a sect and who announced to me that he was no longer gay. Since he now was judgmental about my sexual orientation, we stopped all contacts. Years after, the same guy called my parents, demanding to speak to me because he was going to kill himself and his last wish was to speak to me -- "the man of his life". The guy didn't even tell me he ahd these feelings for me, and there he was making this phone call to my parents. Naturally, they dispatched an ambulance to his place and alerted his family. As for me, I couldn't even talk to him at the time (couldn't hear over the phone) and he had no internet.

To me, it is clear that "giving up homosexuality" cannot be done. Only gay sex can be renounced, and when that is tried, it's usually because of institutionalized homophobia. Nothing to do with the needs of the person or his happiness. In fact, the way most people convince themselves they can do it is by idealizing what they could get out of a conventional, heterosexual union. In reality, someone who tries to become exclusively heterosexual rarely get anything else than conventional cheating "boys on the side" union, which "works" for many men as long as the wife can be kept in the dark or simply looks the other way, often "for the good of the childrenOf course, outside the West, the concept of exclusive homosexuality is rather rare, men being encouraged to marry no matter what their sexual orientation is. I've been a pen pal of some of these guys and it's quite a kick in the pants to read their stories of gay sex being had whenever they get the chance. In those societies, women are kept in subservient roles and are expected to put up with whatever their hubbies decides to do if they are told of it at all.

Also, it helps to be surrounded by people who love you for what and who you are.
All my friends think my homosexuality is the least of my problems, LoL

Also; not caring about the prejudice of others is a helpful thing. To make it even better; show them thier own prejudice by making fun of them in a fun way and they normally get the picture.

gooeythehamster said:

do any other gay people here ever wonder why it is that they were born this way?

pimpdoutt said:

Yes. I think it's to sex up nature!

i think the grand design has room in it for love of all types. it's just, our social paradigms don't leave room for all the spectrums of that particular rainbow.

hope you feel better about yourself today pimpdoutt

pimpdoutt said:

Oh they sure can and the do too.