I have reached what I will refer to as a crossroads in my life.

I have dated both men and women since my days in college.

I have loved and been loved by both men and women.

I know that I'm alot more attracted to men than I am to women.

That's always been the case.

However, now that I'm 30 I feel as though I need to make a choice.

Currently I'm in a loving relationship with a male. We have a great connection spiritually. Sexually we're totally compatible. We make a great team.

However I feel that it's time in my life for more...

When I'm seen with a woman, people react to me like any other human being.

When I'm seen with a man, it's as if i'm carrying the SARS, and ebola virus on my sleeve.

When I was young I used to wish that I would wake up one day and be straight.

It's sickens me how hypocritical "religious" folks can be
I grew up with people very much into religion.
This has caused alot of self hate that took so many years to come to terms with.

I used to want to not be gay so badly.

Now I've accepted it. I've embraced it. I know that for the rest of my life I will be sexually attracted to men and there's no getting around that.

I'm a spiritual man. I believe in GOD with all my heart.
He's been very good to me.

I feel in my heart that he loves me and accepts me for what and who I am.

I also feel in my heart that my soul mate will be male.

But what if I'm wrong...







Anyone else here go through this?

pimpdoutt said:

Hey you!!!

In my opinion it wouldn't matter if you were with a man or a woman.. Whatever your heart desires.. and if you want to be a man and people look at you funny.. it is their own issues that they need to resolve within themselves. They are the one with the problem.. You are not.. Your being honest with yourself and that is all that should matter.
In todays world i thought that peeple have become more comfortable with homosexuality.. but being that i am not gay i guess i wouldn't really know how comfortable it is.. It is such a shame that people look at each other differently or strange because you choose a life that is not the "norm"... but then again what is "NORMAL"...
Sweetie.. Go where your heart desires.. and dont be living your life to suit everyone else.. I learned that the hard way!

Sincerly

Do whatever it takes to make YOU happy

If people judge you,let them.Does it really matter what others think

God is all loving,Im sure that he loves EVERYONE equally no matter of thier persuasion

All my life Ive had to take verbal and physical abuse for being gay.Im not a bad person and loving whomever I chose doesnt make me a bad person either

Just be happy thats all



Much love Pochacco

Having great, deep, intimate love is the good stuff in life.

Having approval from others is not the good stuff in life.

Go for the good stuff!

Sometimes people come to a point in their lives where the thoughts of others become more important than one's own ideals. If that's where you are, then do what brings the least friction to your life.

But know that whatever decisions you make won't change or delete the truth inside.

I tell people this all the time. Is anybody else living their lives to make you happy? The answer is no. You shouldn't either. Do what's right for you. If it means being happy with a man, do it. If it means having children with a woman, do it. Do what you need for yourself... Go with your heart, you cannot lose.

i thank you guys for the input...

i'm really not so concerned about the way people treat me when i'm with a guy.

the happiness i get from our union is far more important than the haters.

i was making an observation mainly.

i think the older i get, then, i start to question everything...

alot has to do with questions i have with reading the bible too.

WHAT IF what they say is true about us?

who can be sure...

maybe GOD gave us the will to be gay as a test of strength or faith.

I have these talks with friends of mine and they assure me
that I was made this way for a reason.

But what reason is that.

More and more I question, WHY ME?

I just thank GOD all the time that my other 2 brothers aren't gay.

They're not as strong a person as I am and it would hurt me so much to have seen them have to go through what we ALL went through growing up gay.

silkyspread said:

hey blondie...thanx for the orgnote




yeah, that's my guy. he is a cutie isn't he?

pimpdoutt said:

well first off, you gotta accept who you are as a person and not nesscarily judge yourself by what you think of yourself or what you think others will also. When love happens it'll happen and in ur heart you will know it's right. Then when you're in love with someone, you could care less of who they are or where they've been in pass, if somebody got a problem with it, then screw them, this is you life, just do you, don't worry yourself to death about things, sometimes you just gotta let things be, including love... love is divine that knows no boundries babeh, so stop beating yourself up and about it and be free man... peace.

If you or any find my input wrong or not really wonderful as yours, please forgive me. I am still naive but I will put in what I have been advised in other areas and which have helped me some, what I have read, and so forth.
Maybe this applies to you, maybe another!?

First of all, I advise you to write down your feelings regarding this and any other issue. Is there any you can solve? How? Is there any which is blocking you or hindering you? Why is it that so? Is it a great nessesity for you to worry about this?

Second of all, write down your feelings more expliciitly about your feelings of this man and your religion. Which is for you the most benefical and how? Who/What do you fear the most? losing God? or losing this man? Doesn't following the rules of your religion make sense to you regardless of how "nice" you really are?Honestly, how can you be part of something and not follow it. Let's say if I was Christain or something, wouldn't you want me as a fellow member to follow what is set down for us?
What religion allows homosexuality?!What religion allows you to be loved before marriage?!


Although, I am a Muslim...I want to share with you a link which I put in search for you homosexuality. There are 22 questions( some dealing with homosexuality, some with relationships that my religion forbids). I pretty much read all of them or at least skimmed them. I hope it isn't a trouble to you to read a few even those which doesn't regard to your condition.
http://63.175.194.25/inde...et=0&dgn=3

Please fast...at least 3 times each month.

tackam said:

well said! i'm sorry you have to put up with that shit. it's no one else's business how and why you cum.

people who condemn others on the basis of sexual orientation tend to be narrow-minded and shallow. . often misguided religious zealots. have you and your partner considered a move to a gay-friendly city? (san francisco, minneapolis) there you'll find it fashionable to be gay and entire communities who are supportive. heck, when i was in the castro district of SF *i* felt like a freak for being straight

Fair enough. Find yourself a nice lady and settle down. That's what I'd like to do mid-life.

ps: nowhere in the bible does jesus condemn homosexuality. THAT is the work of men. jesus taught love. he taught us that sex which debases those involved is wrong. and, as far as finding 'normalcy' in a hetero relationship - look around you plenty of hetero relationships are stagnant, deviod of love and even abusive. these are elements i think jesus would not condone.
[This message was edited Wed Jun 11 17:02:27 PDT 2003 by XxAxX]

XxAxX said:

Really. But I always hear catholics say that it was condemned in the bible. Was there a misunderstanding with part of the text or something.

check out the thread about homosexuality in the P & R forum. . . discusses specific biblical quotations IN CONTEXT.

as far as the pope... ha. hypocrite. catholic church sex scandal,. anyone??? not to mention the catholic church's cover-up of said sex scandals?? not exactly in keeping with the virtues of truth and honesty is it???

careydevi said:

Pimp, word of advise. Disregard religious propaganda. Thanks.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said

Amen.
[This message was edited Wed Jun 11 17:18:08 PDT 2003 by CarrieMpls]

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Co-sign.

I think you'd be better giving up religion instead of giving up homosexuality!

mcmeekle said:

Co-co-sign.

Note: religion, not faith in God. Plenty of gay people have plenty of faith. The two aren't mutually exclusive. Just find the place where your heart and faith combine.

pimpdoutt said:

It's noone's divine right and responsibility to judge you and mistreat you. They have a problem, not you.

pimpdoutt said:

there are no tests in life... only school...

strength is that of which is fostered with pride and self esteem


YOU LOVE WHO EVER... anything less would be the faith that has failed...



[This message was edited Wed Jun 11 19:03:55 PDT 2003 by DORA]

careydevi said:

i respect the decision you have made to become muslim
BUT

here is a quote from the link you directed me too:

"Some heretics have tried to attack Islam and its rulings; they have denounced divorce and plural marriage and permitted alcohol. Those who look at the state of their societies will see the state of misery which those societies have reached.

When they rejected divorce, murder took its place. When they rejected plural marriage, men started to take mistresses instead. When they allowed alcohol, all kinds of shameful and immoral actions became widespread.

They (gays and lesbians) both go against the natural disposition (fitrah) which Allaah has created in mankind – and also in animals – whereby the male is inclined towards the female, and vice versa.
Whoever goes against that goes against the natural disposition of mankind, the fitrah.

The spread of homosexuality has caused man diseases which neither the east nor the west can deny exist because of them. Even if the only result of this perversion was AIDS – which attacks the immune system in humans – that would be enough."



i don't even know what to say to that. i know you will never understand that people don't choose to be gay just like i can't choose to not be gay. these are one of the things one has to experience to understand. thanx though.

Just remember no one ever "gives up homosexuality"... You can only abstain from gay sex. And what happens when most people abstain from something they enjoy? They crave it even more. In that sense, marriage has worked as a gay aphrodisiac for legions of married bisexual men.
[This message was edited Wed Jun 11 19:26:11 PDT 2003 by Aerogram]

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

i don't even think they can beleive that themselves...

Aerogram said:

I've been told to pray on it. I have enough faith in GOD to beleive that if he wants me to live a life with a woman and bring children into the world, he'll "turn he gay gene off" in me and lead me down that path.

I believe that this we have all experienced this already and that we are here to right the wrongs of our past lives.

I'm just tryna do the best I can.

geez...this is all so confusing

by the way, why does this thread have stars next to it now?

DORA said:

thank you for that...

that's something to think about.

CAMILLE4U said:

i wish it WERE that easy bro.

thanx to all you guys for your words.

i appreciate it very much.

Oh...
I truly hope that whatever decision you make, you'll find peace and not guilt and...God have mercy on you and on me as well.


*smiles*