GENDER PRAYERS


FEMALE PRAYER:

Before I lay me down to sleep,

I pray for a man, who's not a creep,

One who's handsome, smart and strong,

One who's willing to listen long,

One who thinks before he speaks,

One who'll call, not wait for weeks.

I pray he's gainfully employed,

When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.

Pulls out my chair and opens my door,

Massages my back and begs to do more.

Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,

Knows what to answer to "How big's my behind?"

I pray that this man will love me no end,

And never attempt to hit on my friend.

And as I pray beside my bed,

I look at the creep you sent me instead.

Amen.



MALE PRAYER:

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge tits who owns a liquor store. Amen.

VinaBlue said:

I pray for a woman who allows me to act the way I want to, and respect me as an individual, rather than viewing me, and the entire male sex, as inferior creeps with nothing but sex and booze on my/our mind(s). I also pray she'll want equality in all aspects of life, not just the good one.

I'm sorry, I know it sounds like I have no sense of humor. I laughed pretty hard at the man's prayer. Still, I sure have seen a lot of ads and stories and shows and e-mails that portray men as stupid horny imbeciles with no real soul or mind outside of their crotch these days.

Although, I must add, that being a white male, with a history of little discrimination, it sure does help me better understand what it is like to be regarded as inferior by others. So maybe today's trends are a life lesson about how it feels, and in that sense, I need to see more of this. hmm?
[This message was edited Thu Jun 5 12:29:55 PDT 2003 by savoirfaire]

savoirfaire said:

im sorry i was not trying to make no one madd i just thought it was funny as hell. i know that thier is more to me then that but i guess that is why it is funny to me.

mcyesse said:

Hey, that's exactly what I pray for every night! You sure now what's on a man's mind, mcyesse...

mcyesse said:

No, no need to apologize. I was being an asshole. I'm the one who should apologize. It wasn't necessary, it's all in good fun, I know.

Here, to counteract, I will say a sexist joke towards women, and then the forum will be even...

hmm...

Why did they send a woman to space?
Lighter than a dishwasher

Why did they NOT send a woman to space the next mission?
Louder than a dishwasher

There! now we're all evened up, and we can go on with this thread. To prove this once and for all, I will put one of those laughing chair emoticons at the end of this post.

savoirfaire said:

You're right in so many ways...but, there are countless ways that prove that a lot of men still think in their pants.

“A little bit of rape is good for a man’s soul,” Norman Mailer, author, 1972

“American girls are like horses, very independent. They have never been controlled by anybody. But if you can break them in, they are very grateful,” Michael Caine, actor, 1974

“Deep down every woman loves the idea of a sheik carrying her off on his white horse and raping her in his tent. It’s a basic feminine instinct,” Omar Sharif, actor, 1977

“Charity is taking an ugly girl to lunch,” Warren Beatty, actor, 1979

“Women are hard enough to handle now, without giving them a gun,” Barry Goldwater, former U.S. Senator, about women in the military, 1980

“Henry VIII…didn’t get divorced, he just had [his wives’] heads chopped off when he got tired of them. That’s a good way to get rid of a woman – no alimony,” Ted Turner, producer, 1983

“A woman who has never been hit by a man has never been loved,” Zsa Zsa Gabor, actor, 1984

“Educating a woman is like pouring honey over a fine Swiss watch. It stops working,” Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. author, 1985

“I don’t think there is anything wrong with hitting a woman. I don’t, though, recommend hitting a woman in the way you hit a man,” Sean Connery, actor, 1987

“Feminism was established to allow unattractive women access to mainstream society,” Rush Limbaugh, radio talk show host, 1991

“There is a substantial and enlarging body of medical opinion that these deformities [small breasts] are really a disease,” Memo by the American Society of Plastic and Reconstructive Surgeons, 1992

“They are trying to prove their manhood,” Ross Perot, former presidential candidate, on women reporters who ask tough questions, 1993

“Afterward she thinks she’s staying the night. I politely ask her to leave…I give her five minutes and then throw her clothes just outside the door. She opens the door and leans to pick them up. I kick her out and phone security…” A member of the rock group UB40, on how he gets rid of groupies, 1995