CAMILLE4U said:

There once was a woman from 'Ham
Who went on a Lancashire tram,
She kissed the conducter
He turned 'round and fucked her
And now she's pushing a pram.

CAMILLE4U said:

Roses are red
Apples are green
Open your legs
And I'll fill your pussy with my steaming load of man chowder.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm dyslexic
mvfdijosvhuisdhvudioshuivbsdyi cbdsi.

IceNine said:

It's not easy for me
to write bad poetry
or anything at all
(maybe you're not that tall)
if only "en espanol"
then I could be more witty
and not be such a pity!

PANDURITO said:

Your poetry is great like that wall in China
The words flow like fine wine through a garden hose
And you bring to mind the eloquence of a minah
That bird whose funky, funky, oh so funky nose
Doesn't grow when it tells a lie, but it makes me smile
And with this I will close for a while.

IceNine said:

I've had a joyful time
but now I have to dinner
so honey if you don't mind
me voy a la cocina

PANDURITO said:

My dick is turning purple
My hand is turning red
I should be making poetry
But I'll shoot my load instead
There's joy juice on my monitor
It's on my keyboard to
If your wondering who I'm thinking of
The chances are it's U

PANDURITO said:

Good luck and godspeed
I hope you find all you need
for dinner and fun
and maybe some other stuff that doesn't rhyme
now do you think you should go so you won't be late?

CAMILLE4U said:

That one was actually quite good.

IceNine said:

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm dyslexic
mvfdijosvhuisdhvudioshuivbsdyi cbdsi.

CAMILLE4U said:

Pure beauty!

And if it is really true
what they say
about how when you die
your life passes before you’re eyes,
just what the hell does that mean anyhow?
It took you X number of years
before you got to the dying part,
and now all that time
is supposed somehow to be
compressed into a "flash"?
Does this mean you relive
every great shit you ever took,
every drunk night that you made an ass of yourself,
every time you whacked yourself on the forehead
thinking of those very drunk-and-you-were-an-asshole nights,
every candy bar you stole,
every lie you ever told no matter how big or small,
everyone you ever laid,
every time you had to mow the lawn?
So this is how it is then:
First you have to go through all the crap that is your life,
and then, just to rub a little salt on the wound,
you have to go through all of it again
in fast motion while you’re laying there fucking DYING.
So someone, please, just shoot me from behind
out of the blue, so I don’t even know what hit me.
Cause I sure as hell don’t want to have to go through the whole
damn thing all over again.

--"I am what I am
And i am how I appear
Outrageous and sarcastic
Sympathetic and sincere
I am a mix of colours past
Of red sunsets and blue blue skies
I am the misconstrewd of purple
I am she who will not lie"--


the wrong word edit
never get a girl 2 do a professional quoters job
[This message was edited Sat May 24 15:44:21 PDT 2003 by JaneyPoos]

Birth of Speech


When man first began to talk
it sounded like a bunch of damn nonsense.
The other animals were skeptical.
But, the talk continued.
Eventually, man pretty well much
had dominion over the animals.
He picked ‘em off, one by one,
with increasingly sophisticated weapons.

These days we’ve got it even easier.
We started growing the animals ourselves,
instead of having to bother with all of that nasty hunting.
Yep, raise ‘em and kill 'em,
easy as eatin’ pie with a goddamn fork.

Speakin’ o’ pie, anyone hungry?
I’m about ready to throw on a burger and crack a beer…

Hisstory

I was wondering about our yesterday's and digging through the rubble.
And 2 say the least somebody went through a hell of alot of trouble.
2 make sure that when we looked things up we didn't fare 2 well.
And that we would come up with totally unreliable pictures of ourselves.
But i compliled a few facts such as they are.
2 c if we could find out a little bit of something
and this is what i got so far.
First white folks discovered africa.They claimed it fair and square.
Cecil Rhodes couldn't have been robbing anybody cause..hell there wasn't nobody there.
The white folks brought all the civilization..cause there wasn't none around.
How could the folks b civilized when nobody was writing nothing down?
And just 2 prove their suspitions well..it didn't take 2 long.
They found out there were whole tribes of people in plain sight,
Running around with no clothes on..that's right.
The men the women the young and the old rightous folks covered their eyes.
And no time was spent considering the environment..hell no this just wasn't civilized.
And another piece of infomation they had or at least this is what we were taught.
Is that unlike the civilized people of europe..these tribal units actually fought.
And yes there was some crude impliments and yes there was primitive art.
And yes they were masters of hunting and fishing and courtesy came from the heart.
And yes there was love and medicine intertribal communication by drum.
But no paper no pencils or other utencils and hell these folks never even heard of a gun.
And this is y the colonies came 2 stabilize the land.
Cause the dark continent had copper and gold and the discoverers had themselves a plan.
They would discover all the places of promise u didn't need no titles or deeds.
And then they would appoint people 2 make everything legal 2 santion the trickery and greed.
And back in the jungle when the natives got restless they would call it gorilla attack.
And they would never descibed that the folks got wise and decided that they would fight back.
And still we r victims of word games symantics is always a bitch.
Places once referred 2 as underdeveloped r now called mineral rich.
And the game goes on eternally unity just beyond reach.
Egypt and Libya used 2 b in Africa..theyv'e now been moved 2 the Middle East.
There r examples galore i assure u..but if interpeting were left up 2 me.
I'd b sure evreytime folks knew this version wasn't mine which is y it is called
HIStory.
GIL SCOTT HERON.

Guess Dora & JaneyPoos
Both girls they have no clues
This was supposed to be
A-bout BAD poetry
You're getting much to deep
fot those of us who peep

PANDURITO said:

Pandurito is so right
bollocks, arse
and nighty night

JaneyPoos said:

i presume thats closer to the kinda thing that is specified?

PANDURITO said:

I didn't get that from the orginal poster. I thought he just wanted us to post a poem.

theC said:

All of those words together
I can't believe my eyes
A poet bodybuilder
What a pleasant surprise!

I should have known much better
before I cried out loud.
A copier and paster!
TheC has left me down

PANDURITO said:

A bodybuilder(i am) and a poet i can be
if that is what is needed.
But i would rather copy and paste a poem
with a message that should be heeded .

theC said:

theC,I guess you're right
you can a poem write
and you can work your body
and dance and have a party!

(Taken from The Hitch-Hikers guide To the Galaxy by Douglas Adams)

Oh freddled gruntbuggly
thy micturations are to me
As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee
Groop I implore them
my foonting turlingdromes.
And hooptiously drangle me
with crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurgle cruncheon,
See if I don't!

...Vogon poetry is of course the third worst in the Universe. The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a recitation by their Poet Master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem, "Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in my Armpit One Midsummer Morning" four of his audience died of internal hemorrhaging, and the President of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived by gnawing one of his own legs off.
Grunthos is reported to have been "disappointed" by the poem's reception, and was about to embark on a reading of his twelve-book epic entitled "My Favorite Bathtime Gurgles" when his own major intestine, in an attempt to save life and civilization, leaped straight up through his neck and throttled his brain.
The very worst poetry of all perished along with its creator, Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Greenbridge, Essex, England, in the destruction of the planet Earth.

Vogon Poetry Generator:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult...rgen.shtml

Poem for this thread now it's dead blah blah blah...

bananacologne said:

july said:

No way