don't u just hate hese people and I mean what I don't understand is , why do they take away the kids who aren't getting beat, but then send the kids back 2 their parents who r getting beat, the system in this country is just damn backwards... I mean I'm seriously confused

DigitalLisa said:

Then once they take away ur kids, they give them back 2 those who only really want the money and just abuse the kids even more and what's worst is, they'll be in the screwed up system forever ...

That's because it's a phucked-up world Lisa.

It's very hard to know what really goes on in the house, unless you live there day and night.
And even if they did send someone to check out, I'm sure the behavior will be different during their stay, so it's all about evidence and witnesses.

I'm sure that the system could be better, but it takes money and manpower, which I guess both are not very accessible.

but i'm what i'm saying is, some of these kids need a azz whipping... i'm glad my momz whiped my azz when I was a kid, she made sure I gave her respect and these dayz kids just ain't gots no respect 4 their parents , i mean they talk 2 their parents like they are their friends or something... I would tell my child u better come correct, I ain't one of ur friends
[This message was edited Sat May 17 20:09:05 PDT 2003 by DigitalLisa]

Also, they work according to the law/rules/system.
Sometimes these things aren't supposed to work by rules/system. We're humans, we have feelings, emotions. Each and every family is a totally different story, and so the system will always work out better for some, and be worse for others.

DigitalLisa said:

My parents never beat me/whipped my ass, yet I have a lot of respect for them. I believe respect is best taught by learning the meaning of it, not by forcing it.
[This message was edited Sat May 17 20:13:35 PDT 2003 by Heavenly]

Heavenly said:

Please not if ur black, I seen the system fail so many people it's a damn shame and u know they system has money, they just don't do what they supposed to do with it ...it's like a parent is afriad to discpline their child and i hate 2 see a child running over they're own parents... please back in the dayz if i done something wrong, I would get my azz whipped by the whole family ... can't do that these dayz though, they might take ur kidz away, i'll tell them people take em' i need a vacation

I used to get my ass taxed. I would probably have been taken away from my parents by todays standards. All i can say is, it was the best thing for me(i was a little monster). That's why kids are so bad today. They don't respect their parents or any other adult. We're raising Children of the Corn.

DigitalLisa said:

Well, the authorities want to take away a parent's
right to discipline their kid(s) the old school way
with a belt/switch. No matter how it's done,
it's considered "abuse" now. It's not a "spanking"
anymore, they take it literally as a "whipping"/"beating"...

It seems pretty clear to me that MORE kids nowadays
are more violent than ever before.

Kids killing their parents
Kids shooting up their schoolmates and teachers
Kids doing drive by shootings...

Seems these kids need the old school discipline...

BEFORE it gets to that point.


¤
[This message was edited Sat May 17 20:24:21 PDT 2003 by Supernova]

Supernova said:

fa real, the truth is they don't really have no authority ... and sometimes that's what they need... I would hate 2 grow up as a child right now

I'm sorry to hear that.

I believe that if you teach your child to think. and to understand the difference between wrong or right, and not just that if you do wrong you get punished, but that if you do wrong, you hurt somebody else, that would make them think more before they do such a thing. today most parents don't spend enough time educating their kids.
Either they're too busy with work, or just don't care much, and let their kids just do what they want while they watch TV.

Heavenly said:

Unfortunately, it's not always that simple.
All the talking and educating in the world
will not change some kids' behavior. For the
most part, this generation of kids has a
different mentality. And it's not always
because of parental neglect. But when it is,
I think to myself there are some parents
who just aren't equipped to be parents.

Supernova said:

Same goes for beating. there are some kids who get beatings as punishments, and then the grow up violent, because that's the enviroment they grew up in, and then don't know any other way but using force to get what they want.

Heavenly said:

So I guess many parents are damned if
they do, and damned if they don't.

Supernova said:

Yes. each case should be dealt in a different way. though no one knows what's best, that's when child protection services have the power to decide, even though they too do not know what's best sometimes.

SuperC said:

I tell my kids like this: "call em...go head...call... the number is 911"

That ususally works, and I don't have to lay a hand on them.

But kids can tell when you mean business. Remember that look from mama. Yeah, it works, even still today

Heavenly said:

Wait a minute now, I read this too fast before.
But you seem to have gotten a "beating" mixed up
with what the rest of us are talking about.
It's not one and the same.

Supernova said:

Well, call it beating, call it spanking. what I mean is making children understand the difference between good or bad by pain.

Heavenly said:

This is exactly what I was talking about
when I said the authorities equate spanking
with a beating. I'm still old school, we'll
have to agree to disagree on that one, Heavenly.

CPS today (in cali) is the equivalant of leagal kidnapping.
I can understand the need to protect AT RISK children,
but then when the parent is finally able to provide a stable
home in a nurturing inviorment they should be reunited with their children, But instead after the children are takin
they are SOLD OFF to FOSTER CARE HOMES where they tend to
(the olders ones) only seem to collect criminal histories.

This is the catch-22 of many situations:

In many cases, there are parents who are
just begging the authorities for information
about where and how they can get help for
a child who is always in trouble. I'm talk-
ing about kids who can't be disciplined with
mere talk. Many of these parents don't even
spank/whip/beat (whatever one wants to call it)
their kids, but instead try to instill the values
their kids should have. The ideal way the "authorities"
want them to discipline their kids. In some cases
these parents aren't assisted with ANY help in
that area. They're on their own. Until...

The kid goes out and gets into trouble of
the worst kind. Afterwards, in the process of
corralling the hooligans these cops may end up
punching, beating, or even shooting the kids.

The cops would rather THEY have the authority
to administer this type of punishment AFTER
the deed(s) have been done, instead of allowing
the parents the authority that has nothing to
do with guns, punches or beatings to potentially
prevent it from happening in the first place.

If the parents aren't allowed their methods
(and I'm not talking about abusive parents),
the cops sure as hell are allowed their deadly
methods after trying to prevent you (the parent)
from potentially nipping it in the bud. And the
only time the cops want to do something about it
is when the kid breaks the law.

DigitalLisa said:

Kind of like conservative republicans who claim to be pro life then lobby to cut funding for programs that help low income mothers.

Even spanking a child is pretty fucking unneccessary...Think of the message you are sending...If a person breaks the rules/hurts your feelings/gets angry...it is okay to use bullying or violence and the fear it causes to produce a desired effect or modification in behavior.

AprilMichelle said:

If you break the rules, there are physical and emotional consequences. This happens all throughout your life. If it didn't, then cops would be able to police our streets without guns.

There's definitely parents that go way too far with hitting their children, and we don't have much of a way to prevent that from ever happening. My dad took a belt to my behind a few times when I was younger. Of course it was only in extreme cases when I was lighting things on fire in the house or chasing my sister around with a running lawnmower. I grew up fine. I'm actually a very passive person, as is my dad. You can't really reason with a kid when they're that young, but they will understand spanking.

Children, even young ones are capable of understanding things besides force...I am a firm believer in the fact that those who use spanking or other fear based physical dicipline methods severly lack imagination and/or perseverance. Depending on the age and personality type of the child, there are countless other methods of dicipline. Spanking is a cop out.
Grown adults do not make a habit for of hitting/caning/paddling people for simple infractions (at least not in the us)...things have consequences yes, but only in extreme situations does it escalate to violence in adult situations. At least not the legal kind anyway.

Lisa u always have to bring being "black" in every thread u start, lemme explain something to you, iv'e seen more white and hispanic kids get taken away because of accusations of abuse,yes its a fucked up world Lisa, but ghat dammit stop using being "black" as a crutch in every thread u post.this aint a flame, but someone needed to come at you like this.

I believe that most punishments that involve spanking or other pgysical punishments are because the parents don't have the patience to take the long road and teach them why it was wrong, and the only tell them that it was wrong and that they should be punished for it.

If you come and explain your child why it is wrong, and let them think about it and understand, that is the best way IMO.

00769BAD said:

Or become adopted by infertile women. I'm telling you there's something fishy going on here. I know a grandmother who has been trying to get her grandchildren back from foster care. The County has been giving her the royal run around with misinformation, withholding of information and the like. After much red tape she finds out that her grandchildren have been adopted and she still has not seen them. It's been a 4-year fight. There's something ugly festering. Mothers beware!!!

Tom said:

I agree 100% (i used to set shit on fire when i was a kid) :O