A truck load of viagra was hijacked.

The police are looking for a group of hardened criminals.

a guy in a coma is in the hospital for 2 months. All this time his wife was there beside him, praying for him to wake up.

Finally he wakes up, sees his wife and asks her to come closer so he could whisper to her.
She leans forward and he says:
When I lost my job, you were there for me.
When the company I fell down the drains, you were there for me.
When we lost the house, you stuck by me.
And now, you styed with me all this time that I was in a coma.

The wife is so happy with her husband's gratitute.
Then the husband adds: "you know what I think?"
The wife asks: "what?"

He answers: "I think you bring me bad luck"

Nothinbutjoy said:

I like that one!

REDFEATHERS said:

A group of first-year medical students is gathered around an operating table for their first anatomy lesson with a dead body.
“As a doctor, you’ll need to develop two key skills,” the professor begins. “The first is stoicism. You can’t be disgusted by anything involving the human body.”
The professor then rolls the body over, sticks his finger into the corpse’s butt, withdraws it and sticks his finger in his mouth.
“Now do the same,” he instructs.
The horrified students hesitate, but eventually take turns dipping a finger into the cadaver’s anus and then sucking on it.
When everyone has finished, the professor continues, “The second skill is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and then I sucked on my index finger. Pay attention.”

PurpleJedi said:

PurpleJedi said:

I love it!

REDFEATHERS said:

U win!

I did read it again!

pejman said:

This is my lamest joke:


Why did the mexican push his wife off of the roof?


Tequila!


(2 kill her, 4 those of u who is slow)

Sweeny79 said:

thank you for the translation I wouldn't have understood the joke without :Lol:

Do this next experiment at your own risk:

When you see a blonde walking down the street, say to her: "Look! a dead bird" and then see her look up in the sky and ask: "where? where?"

Heavenly said:

what do u look like in the bath?

a little bear!!!

A blonde is driving her car and cuts off a very angry driver.
The driver asks her to pull over and step out of the car, then draws a circle and tells her to stay inside the circle.
He takes a basball bat and breaks her headlights. he looks at her and she laughs.
He then breaks her windshield the looks at her, and she laughs again.
The mad driver then burn down her car and looks at her again, and she laughs.
The driver asks: "what the hell's wrong with you? why do you keep laughing???"

She answers: "everytime you didn't look, I stepped out of the circle."
[This message was edited Tue May 13 9:33:41 PDT 2003 by Heavenly]

Dana was a blonde girl.
One day she wanted to try and ride a horse for the first time in her life.
She started walking until she reached a very lovely white horse. She climbed on and started riding.
Suddenly she fell off and could barely hold to the strap. she started calling for help, screaming as hard as she can until the Mall's security gurad unplugged the horse from the socket.

A blonde changed her hair into black and went out to see if it works.
She sees a flack of sheep and tells the sheppard: "If I tell you how many sheep you have, will you give me one?"
He thinks for a minute and accepts.
She counts them, and says: "you have 32"
He says: "ok, you can take one"
The he says: "If I tell you the real color of your hair, will you give me back my dog?"

One snowy day Bill Clinton wakes up and sees in his back yard written in yellow on the snow "Bill Clinton Stinks".
He calls the FBI, and after a few investigations, the come up to him and say: "we have good news and bad news. the good new is that we know who's urine it was - Bush's. The bad news is that it's Hillary's handwriting."