I went 2 the pub at lunch and had a pint and cheese burger and chips. Got back 2 work and I dont think I can stay awake any suggestions so I can?

keep postin.

got a West Ham video handy? try that!

good idea!

what do U call a chinese golfer?

Marrk said:

That would just depress me even more!

Marrk said:

He said stay AWAKE, not FALL ASLEEP!

JimmyNothing said:

Oh yeah!

.
[This message was edited Fri May 9 5:50:11 PDT 2003 by Marrk]

Sniff some cocaine.

Splash cold water on your face and run your wet hands through your hair.
Drink plenty of water to sober up and have a coffee.

Hozannesbiz seems the most sensible idea thanks. However Im likin' Stomper's more, a bit flash and 80s. Cool

Do you get the FHM Friday email JD? That'll keep you going through the afternoon mate. b3ta do a good one as well.

To subscribe to them...

www.fhm.com

www.b3ta.com

JimmyNothing said:

They wont let me have a bastard email here Jimmy otherwise I would. Nothin' gets me goin' more than seein' a pair of tits on a Friday afternoon

JDINTERACTIVE said:

Here we go mate!

You only have 3 hours to go since posting, so why not have an Org countdown to JD finishing work. It is Friday afterall!

JimmyNothing said:

Exactly!! mmm mmm mmm
[This message was edited Fri May 9 6:13:38 PDT 2003 by JDINTERACTIVE]

hozannesbiz said:

Im intrigued, explain more?

Well if you do get caught sleeping, here is some help for you:
Best Excuses if you get caught sleeping at your work desk...

* "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."

* "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to."

* "Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper. "

* "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!"

* "This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people !"

* "I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance"

* "Actually doing a "Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan" (SLEEP) you learned at the last mandatory seminar your boss made you attend.

* "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory towards people who practice Yoga?"

* "Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."

* "The coffee machine is broke..."

* "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot."

* "Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off!"

* "Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic!"

* "Wasn't sleeping. Was trying to pick up contact lens without hands." (I like this one! )


Only 2 1/2 hous to go now!

hozannesbiz said:

U obviously have experience in the ways of office work hozannesbiz Im glad U feel my pain I like U like the last excuse best! lol! OK, will see if can sneak in a few zzz's now

Count yourself lucky,Im 4 hours into my 11 and a half hour shift WAHH

Much love Pochacco

Pochacco said:

bollocks isnt it

* "Wasn't sleeping. Was trying to pick up contact lens without hands." (I like this one! )


Only 2 1/2 hous to go now![/quote]


U obviously have experience in the ways of office work hozannesbiz Im glad U feel my pain I like U like the last excuse best! lol! OK, will see if can sneak in a few zzz's now [/quote]


Less than 2 hours to go now:
Rules For Work

1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.

2. If it's really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it's going. That helps. Or even better, hover behind me, advising me at every keystroke.

3. Always leave without telling anyone where you're going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.

4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or supplies, don't open the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and opening doors with no arms is good training in case I should ever be injured and lose all use of my limbs.

5. If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me which is priority. I am psychic.

6. Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.

7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it could mean a promotion.

8. If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations. I was born to be whipped.

9. If you have special instructions for a job, don't write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information.

10. Never introduce me to the people you're with. I have no right to know anything. In the corporate food chain, I am plankton. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.

11. Be nice to me only when the job I'm doing for you could really change your life and send you straight to managers' hell.

12. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it's nice to know someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about having to pay so much taxes on the bonus check you received for being such a good manager.

13. Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my goals SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost of living increase. I'm not here for the money anyway.

Pochacco said:

Thank God for internet!

And this is to make you feel a whole lot better!

Prison vs. Work

* In prison you spend the majority of your time in an 8' X 10' cell. At work you spend most of your time in a 6' X 8' cubicle.

* In prison you get three meals a day. At work you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for that one.

* In prison you get time off for good behavior. At work you get rewarded for good behavior with more work.

* In prison a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you. At work you must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself.

* In prison you can watch TV and play games. At work you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

* In prison they ball-and-chain you when you go somewhere. At work you are just ball-and-chained.

* In prison you get your own loot. At work you have to share.

* In prison they allow your family and friends to visit. At work you cannot even speak to your family and friends.

* In prison all expenses are paid by taxpayers, with no work required.

* At work you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for the prisoners.

* In prison you spend most of your life looking through bars from the inside wanting to get out. At work you spend most of your time wanting to get out and inside bars.

* In prison you can join many programs which you can leave at any time. At work there are some programs you can never get out of.

* In prison there are wardens who are often sadistic. At work we have managers.


Man! That is just too depressing!

Hozannesbiz, U R a genious!

JDINTERACTIVE said:

Are you still awake? Did I keep you awake? And you only have 1 hour to go! Did I pass?

http://www.geocities.co.j...8/abc.html

Check this out JD, it's worth the wait for the download! (There is sound, so if your boss is stict, turn it down)

Let me know what you think!

If you wanna find out what your stoner name is then try this for a laugh http://www.electricartist...toner.html

This won't offend anyone at all- it's pretty funny

http://www.brianmung.com/...atorun.htm

LMAO!! I could of got a bollocking 4 that Jimmy! Certainly woke me up though! Now thats the tits Ima talkin' about did U spot Kelly Brook's amongst the tasty treats?! I know my ABC now

P.S. Im pesky resinball!

hozannesbiz said:

U passed with flying colours, I type with only 25mins 2 go!

guys!