Hey Guys!
As a person who at the age of almost 40 is almost too honest (try to be), and really can't lie, is it easy for you to bullshit others and YOURSELF,and do you do it? I know someone who does this, and want to tell them, but they are VERY sensitive and I don't want to hurt their feelings.
And usually people don't want to get in touch anyway,but I care about this person alot. Advice?

This sobriety thing's cool, but it's making me think too much

Honesty..The best therapy there is

Aw...hard.

When to tell someone the truth.

Is it going to hurt him/her more than your friendship?
Then don't, if you really care.

It is sometimes smart to be the wiser.

If you do not want it to happen in the future, be truthful. It might clear things and gives that other person to grow, by cutting the bullshit.

rainbowray said:

always be upfront and honest..if they are sensitive then use tact.

i wouldnt tiptoe around a sensitive liar

be honest... I love when my friends are painfully honest. It helps me to grow.

sag10 said:

Me too!

rainbowray said:

You're right, rainbowwray..

A lot of people lie to themselves (& to others) because they believe or rationalize that lying will be self-beneficial. They often lie, unaware of the consequences (short or long term) of their actions. So, it can be easy to do, if the MOTIVATION is there, as well as the perceived benefit of the lie.

I know this all too well; I've lied to myself more times than I should have.


In terms of your friend, instead of asking "why" your friend does it or saying to your friend "you shouldn't lie (to whomever)"..

you may want to show to likely results of such behavior.

In some cases, people actually do not see "down the road" & how their decisions & actions can cause problems. If you say to your friend: "if you lie (about whatever), than this will probably happen, & then that could also happen.." etc.

In doing this, you'll have fulfilled your "friendship responsibility" by pointing out what could happen. Then, your friend, as (presumably) an adult with their own free will, & if your friend still lies after having been advised as to what could happen..

well, then.. that friend will likely get the consequences of their actions..


Love, good intentions, & everything else notwithstanding..

there is only so much any of us can do to "protect" another from him/herself..


bon courage with whatever you decide to do in this situation..

if it has to do with you, then be honest, or else you're just gradding the inevitable.
Some people can't handle the truth, and would rather lie to themselves and lie to others.

Some preach to tell the truth yet they can't do that themselves.

rdhull said:

I must agree with rd here. Some people don't understand that 99.9 percent of the time, the truth is less painful than hiding it for thier benefit.

I'll need more details in order to give advice.

There's a big difference between say, bullshitting yourself that you can drive even if you are blind and, thinking you look good in hotpants when clearly you don't.

One would be worth mentioning, the other, well...

Give us more detail please.

mcmeekle said:

Good answer mcmeekle.






Oh, by the way...you look awful in those hotpants.

althom said:

Bitch.

YA CAIN'T BULLSHIT A BULLSHITTER

pejman said:

no pun

mcmeekle said:

The guy is very talented, but continues to sabatoge by lying to people,himself,building himself up, and blaming others for his shortcomings in life, which HE created. It's like he is in a world of his own, and can't get honest and happy with the people around him, when it is clearly him that has the issues to deal with.

I guess denial is a good word.He refuses to "look in the mirror".He hurts others when he blames them, and it makes him feel better about himself when he does that.That pisses me off. He has lost many friends because of it, I also worry because he is the type who probably needs..emotional help, but would probably drop me as a friend if i told him that.


I worked with him, and really want to see him succeed, instead of pissing it away on excuses, going broke, and asking other people for money all the time. Because I care too much and see through the shit, I guess that is why I am asking others..and thanks for the help! People really do care here, and I really appreciate it alot!

rainbowray said:

I'd give it to him straight and tell him as tactfully as you can. I think you'd both stand to gain more than you'd lose. Plus it sounds like you genuinely like this guy and want to help him.

Or you could just buy him a pair of hotpants and check out his ass!

Good luck.

i don't know...i always tell the truth...
my motto is.."if you don't want to hear the answer...don't ask the question"

I am an expert liar. I can only do it when put on the spot. If I have to make it up ahead of time, forget it. I just go with the flow. And if you think yourself to be honest when you're doing it, everyone else will, too.

mcmeekle said:

Yeah, I do like him, but he's a redneck...he'd wanna kick my ass if I looked at his!! Thanks again for the advice..I'm gonna be tactful..BECAUSE i care!