I haven't talked with the guy in about six years. I think he must have Googled me up and gotten my work email address.
We had a really horrible break-up -- I found out he was cheating on me while my father was dying in the hospital -- and I'm just a little curious as to why he has contacted me now.
I'm in a happy relationship and a little part of me can't wait to tell him that.
I should just let it go.
Has something similar happened to anybody?

I would just let it go and not reply. I'm sorry he was such a creep to you when you were together...

AzureStar said:

Thanks...he was a total creep.

Let it go. It'd be different if the breakup wasn't bad & he wasn't an ass. It's been years & you've moved on long ago - so unless there's a part of you that wants to catch up w/ him, who needs it?

You go kick his arse !!

applekisses said:

Yes. About two days after I got married (interesting timing, huh?), I received an email from a past quasi-girlfriend. However, the email was not an attempt to restart the relationship. Rather, she wanted to apologize for some things she'd said/done, told me how she'd changed as a person, and indicated that she was interested in reestablishing contact. We're on friendly terms to this day... and I must say, she really has changed as a person. I'm glad we were able to patch things up.

From the tenor of your original post, though, I'm guessing that your ex (unaware of your current relationship) is trying to restart the relationship with you. It also sounds as if you want nothing to do with him. So my experience probably isn't much help to you. Sorry.

I got a call from one of my ex-es the other day. It was strange, I didn't know it was him until I picked up, I tried to be polite, yet still he was giving me grief after 3 years. It is funny how some people live life. I don't even know why he called me.

matt said:

Oh...Matt...yes, it does help. I'm not sure what he wants...we'll see what happens. I don't hate him or anything, but it's just that I've moved on. I'm in another part of life now. The part of my life with him in it is over.
If he needs to clear his concience of what he did, I'll listen, but that's as far as it'll go.
Then I'll kick his ass...

hozannesbiz said:

Sounds like he's not living his life.

Do you have unfinished business with him? Did you have the closure you needed?

If yes to those, then if you are not comfortable with the situation.. Don't answer.

If no, it would be good to complete the relationship, and move on..

sag10 said:

Those are good suggestions, Sag. thanks

You should respond... like this:


Thank you for emailing me, I was not expecting to hear from you. I am in a wonderful relationship right now, and have no interest in reaquainting myself with you. Please do not make any further attempt to contact me. Have a good life, Best Wishes.

That should give you closure and definately give him the message. Good luck.

go and shag him..its great bumping in2 a hot ex!

June7 said:

Wow...copy AND paste Thanks, June

jonylawson said:

Um...no. Are you him?

You're welcome sweetie, hope it works... let us know.

June7 said:

I will...I'll even see if I can scare up some old pics of him so we can make fun of him...

June7 said:

Personally, I would reword that... I think it comes across as somewhat insincere. But I think the underlying message is appropriate to convey.

matt said:

How would you have said it?
Just curious...of course I will respond to him in my own words.

applekisses said:

Oh, maybe something like this:

Thanks for your email--I'm glad to hear that you're doing well.

These days I'm currently in a serious relationship, and I'd feel rather awkward if we continued to correspond. Thus, I think it's best that we don't. I'm sorry if I'm coming across as cold or unfriendly--it's just that there are some things that I'd like to remain in the past, because right now I'm focused on the present and my future.

Nonetheless, I do wish you the best in your present and future endeavors. Take care.

Sincerely yours,

applekisses

If the guy can't read between the lines and continues to contact you, then I might suggest a more blunt response.

matt said:

Very diplomatic and kind
It's possible, though, that he is contacting me to apologize.
In the email he sent he asked if I was 'the very same Andrea' and then just said hello.
I'll wait and see what his intentions are and then respond appropriately.

applekisses said:

That sounds like the best thing to do applekisses.

Diva said:

Thanks, hon. I think so too

applekisses said:

Hello applekisses (love that name by the way):

I have had a similar experience where I broke up with someone after dating them for 3 years. I broke up with him because my feelings for him just faded especially after he decided to start also seeing a friend of mine, it was a good thing I found out early. 4 years later he decides to find me again but I was seeing another nut. End Result: He wanted to try again but I told him my life was fine without him, please do not try to contact me again and that was that. Some years later I ended up finding the man I am now married to and extremely happy with.

I have never been able to explain why some guys just cannot let go (some women can't either) and then happen to pop up at such an inconvenient time, but since you are in a good relationship now just tell him you have moved on the greener pastures (tell him how happy you are, maybe even include a picture of you and your current love) and because of your past experience with him let him know you have no intentions of letting him back into your life now, besides you got someone. Funny how things happen like that, thinking your past has been left in the past, some years go by, your life is good and then Boom! the past has once again emerged.

If this were me I would find out what he wants, let him know my current very happy situation and how I am not willing to "press rewind". If he is not clear on the issue, block the emails, if that does not work, then I would let my husband know and then perhaps he could talk to him.

matt said:

Nope... I still like mine better, yours sounds like it's coming from a lawyer!!!

SisterGirl said:

Hi, thanks for the nice compliment!
I was thinking about doing nearly exactly what you suggested...including the picture part. First I'm going to find out why he's contacted me.

POOK said:

That's what I'm wondering too, POOK...I'm going to wait it out and see.

applekisses said:

I had an ex-girlfriend trying to contact me again. She broke things off with me and I had moved on. From what I was told...she was having second thoughts about what she did and wanted to see what I thought. It sounds like this is what your ex is doing. Just ignore the email...you've moved on and you really don't need him or his emotional baggage again.

applekisses said:

I would be curious as to what he has to say. Perhaps he wants to make amends and explain why he did what he did. Not that there is any justification for it. I have been through a tremendously painful break up and I think that if you have any unresolved issues then talk to him. If not I wouldn't talk to him. Good luck with whatever you decide to do Apples. Take care